Saturday, March 27, 2004

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

I have a friend whose been married for just under a year, and his wife has been putting off changing her last name. This is an issue for my friend, apparently, as it is the occasional subject of conversation. This week it came to a head. He booked tickets out of the country through a travel agent friend who assumed they shared the same last name, not the name on her passport...oops.
My friend seized on this mishap to force the issue of the name change... it was not received well and much marital tumult ensued.
The case for:
Social moors dictate the taking of the husbands name at marriage.
The case against:
What about HER name? You know, the one she's had ALL HER LIFE.
Her name, or knowledge of her name is important to her profession, which apparently is going quite well. What a hassle to let all your customers know you are now Smith and not Jones.
How about you taking her name?
If anyone tries to find you by Jones and not smith they got beans.
When you get married you are not automatically chattel or property (redundant I know, but I like the word "chattel") despite what the social moors have to say about it.
When you change names you have to get new identification... and we all know what a pain in the ass it is to deal with the government, local or otherwise. They have 40 hours in training required on how to fuck with your world, chinese water torture with forms.

So, what's the point ?

When Ann and I got married she chose to take my name. But not without condition. And the condition was that she could use her maiden name as her middle name. Had that not been the case, she would have kept her maiden name.
This condition was not discussed. Ann's name could be Schlomo or Enoch, I don't care.
She loved me enough to marry me and has continued to love me for almost ten years. And that's what matters in a relationship. Well, that and a lot of other things, but certainly not what you are called.
I'm just sayin'.....

No comments:

Post a Comment