ME? SCARY???
I finally took this thing...nicked it from Billy.


Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis.
"You do not know the power of the Dark
Side." There are two possibilities: you
are a Star Wars geek, or you are unreasoningly
scary.


Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Unreasoningly scary huh? I have been told off and on throughout my life that I am this.
Couched in the term "intimidating" as in looking. Back in the psychic wars, teams I worked with were afraid to confront me for this reason. When they would finally "gang up" on me for being "intimidating" (strength in numbers I guess), they would learn that affect does not always telegraph actions. Then there would be a period of testing those waters and then it was all good.
These supposed experts in the field were hung up on appearance. This was happening to me before I went all tattoo crazy...go figure.
Now I can throw a hard look when I need to, and that's mostly when I feel threatened.
I don't like to fight. I spent many years "fighting" in the hospitals I worked in, there's no attraction to violence like that for me, never has been. So if I can puff up like a horny toad and get out of a situation, fine. Just call me Sir Robin.
I know how to fight... I've had the best training the mental health field has to offer. If you pushed me into a corner that would be your mistake. You would find yourself folded up like a pretzel on the floor, and while I tried to "process" with you one of your friends would bust a bottle on my head. Which is why I prefer the horny toad approach.
But what I'm really trying to get at here is appearances. I know WHAT I look like to most people. I get 2 distinct reactions, that sneaky staring/whispering shit and up front curiosity questions. Of these, I like the latter. There are plenty of folks in Austin that look like I do, and when we cross paths there is this knowing nod and grin, subtle to be sure,but it's there.
I am fascinated by people of all kinds...people in disney clothes get the same look from me as I get from them. And that look for me means wondering why, what's the attraction to having a giant Tweety bird on your sweatshirt? No judgment,just wonder.
My favorite part about cleaning pools was getting to know the customers, and them getting to know me. A bridge of sorts, I learned they may be affluent but were just people after all, and they learned that I could speak in complete sentences and I wasn't there to rape and pillage. It was a fun social evolution for both sides.
I was the tattooed pool cleaning version of that book "Black like me" (ok the analogy is weak, but you get the point?).
Growing up in the south and specifically, Texas when I did made me different from the get go. Longhaired people in Texas in the seventies were frequently the victims of rednecks, cops,redneck cops and coming up like that gave me 2 things, a fuck you attitude toward intolerance, an increased tolerance/acceptance of others (even the rednecks) and the ability to clear 4 strand barbwire fences and disappear into the woods when a truckload of rednecks stopped to kick my ass while I was hitching home after school. (ok, 3 things).
It also pointed me in the direction of difference. I had a fierce desire to look however I wanted and be accepted for who I was. To a large degree, I have been successful at that endeavor. But I still scared my girlfriends parents :)