Saturday, March 27, 2010


When I was a kid , there was this old man who drove a beater station wagon and lived near me in the hills and made his living selling eggs from his chickens.He had a bumper sticker on the back of that wagon that is the title of this post.He hated that the boys of my generation wore their hair long , pierced ears mortified him ... he was old school.
I used to hitch hike a lot (because I was too cool to ride the bus) , and sometimes he would drive past my outstretched thumb like I wasn't there and on the days he was inspired he would pick me up and try to convince me to change my heathen ways.
His wagon reeked of chickens and dirt , the odor of a poultry farm ...he was a nice enough old man , he just didn't cotton to us hippies.
The first few rides he lectured me on the virtues of being well groomed ... and I would shoot back my opinion on that subject and after a while we would just talk about "stuff".
I remember him because in retrospect I think maybe he picked me up because he wanted to understand and connect with a generation that was obviously alien to him and beyond his grasp. I don't think he ever understood , but he tried and we connected on some level ...
And after a time I didn't see that old station wagon on Bee Caves road anymore and it made me sad ... he was gone.
But the memory remains 35 years down the road and I think I understand that old man and his bumper sticker now , being well groomed is an asset. But it's more a state of mind than a standard of hygiene.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


Way...and I mean WAY back in the day some friend's of mine were visiting from Colorado for the pecan street festival here and we had consumed mushrooms , weed , alcohol and we were basically trippin' balls when one of my friends busted out some ginseng extract. evil energy in a little glass vial.
We were eating pizza at the time and laughing so hard...I shot one down and then had to have another.And then it was technicolor yawn time...instantly...I jumped from my chair and made a break for the half soon as I ran into the laundry room I was Linda Blair in the exorcist and projectile vomited the entire contents of my gut on the washer and dryer...the walls... the doorway to the half bath...the walls...the toilet seat...the was everywhere.and then I was done.
I stood there for a minute and started laughing again...looking at the pizza / frozen marg /stems of mushrooms / and the black satan that is ginseng extract. I made everyone come and look at that moment it was some mad art.
After some teasing with my then girl about who was gonna clean it up , I cleaned it up.
We then attempted a game of darts in the back yard but ended up throwing a claw hammer at a tree branch...with the goal of hanging the hammer claw side in to the tree.
One of my friends broke his wristwatch , which was exceedingly funny under the circumstances.
We lived in a duplex and the back yards were separated by a chain link fence covered in adult brother and sister lived next door and I was loudly talking about my imagined incestuous relationship they were having to my friends..." doubt...they are fucking each other BIGTIME..all the time".
Turned out the brother was sitting on his patio and heard every word
not to mention witnessing our kill the tree with the claw hammer game.
At some point my girl herded us back inside.
One of my prouder moments.
Not really...but when you are young and crazy...damn.
The memories.

Monday, March 22, 2010

That last post was pretty negative, but no doubt it was due to the fact that I was physically exhausted, grumpy, and very sleep-deprived. I managed to get a bit more sleep/rest this weekend with a bit of fun thrown in and that makes for a better outlook at this moment. It's not that the situation has changed much, it's just that it all looks better from a more rested perspective. That said, it's gonna be another hell of a work week, much worse than last week, but I'm optimistic that I'll have a better handle on things this go around.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Interesting times
Juggling two jobs has proved challenging. It's not the number of hours worked so much as it is the coordination of the work hours between the two. And even that wouldn't have been a problem if my scanning job workload hadn't suddenly and unexpectedly tripled. I'm grateful for the extra hours, but it's caused me to end up with no days off for the next several weeks. Ah well, it's only temporary and I'll muddle through somehow.

In other news, the call center where I work has decided to start doing random drug testing. I wouldn't have any problem passing the piss test since I don't use any illegal drugs, but it's bothersome to me as a matter of principle. People sometimes wonder why I'm so against drug testing since I don't smoke pot or do any other illegal drugs, but to me it's an invasion of my privacy and what I do on my personal time is none of my employer's business. Ah well, drug testing by employers is so commonplace these days it's probably getting hard to find a company that doesn't do it. This will be the first time I've ever worked for a company that did drug testing and while I don't like it, I need the money too much to quit. Never thought I'd see the day when I'd be sacrificing health, happiness and now principles for the sake of earning $8 an hour. Fuck this economy - someone send me a winning lotto ticket!

Sunday, March 14, 2010


The look on Layla's face just kills very sweet and full of wonder / mischief.

Friday, March 12, 2010


Have you ever just come to the conclusion that everyone and everything is completely and totally full of shit? For example...I used to be very political , hopefully so , advocating for change and to throw the bastards out and recently it occured to me that they are all bastards and it doesn't matter really how many you toss, another bastard will take their place...doesn't matter what party...they are all the suck.
The right wing pundits are all spewing hate and vitriol non stop...such blatant complete horse shit and the sheeple eat it up allowing themselves to be whipped into a frenzy by the likes of Beck and Limbaugh and their minions in the press / media.
There are local radio personalities I would love to meet in a dark alley with a sock full of wood screws...they make me , they fucking enrage me...they make me want to shit in my hands and rub it in my hair (sgt. sam I'm talking to you). Nothing but hate and prejudice veiled in the soft false horse shit of what passes for christianity in their twisted distorted view of the terrain we are currently deployed on.
So I decided to tune them out and focus on my little microcosm of that same terrain.
Instead of talk radio in the truck between pools it's music...Slayer , Ministry , Melvins , loud and angry...but the difference is it makes me smile rather than want to drive into a ravine.
This hope and change thing has disintegrated into the same old song and dance...what a bunch of fuck ups...pandering to the same special interests only in a different , yet somehow similarly slimy way.
I have adopted a new perspective...and it boils down to this : I'm fucked , you're fucked , we are all fucked , so leave me the fuck alone while I try to navigate the mess that my life is and somehow stumble through it and (hopefully) the light at the end of the tunnel isn't a train bearing down on me.
There is no more sense of community anymore...only cliques of people intent on slandering and defeating other cliques of people with a different ( and oddly, completely full of shit) agenda that has nothing to do with the fundamentals of being in this world.
"why can't we all get along"? is a fucking's just Rodney King being a titty baby after he got his ass kicked for being a baghead...nobody wants to "get along"...they just want to get over.
As much as I've tried to not draw a line in the is my line. Clear...defined...don't fuck with me.
You will be sorry if you do.

Monday, March 08, 2010

Plastic Easter
One of my jobs involves seeing which products are on the shelves at grocery and drug stores. Every week I check the seasonal aisles and when I started back in October it was the Halloween candy that was stocked on those aisles. I was pretty amazed at the amount of plastic that was going to be handed out since half the candy seemed to be in some sort of plastic container. Some examples would be a couple of pieces of candy in a hand-sized plastic pumpkin or some M&Ms in a plastic tube with a plastic character on top. This kind of packaging held constant over Christmas and Valentine's day, but Easter has taken it to new heights. I assume this is because hiding plastic eggs in the backyard now takes preference over the old-fashioned hard-boiled kind. But this goes beyond the old empty plastic eggs that you filled up with candy out of a bag and then reused those same plastic eggs from year to year. No, these egg shaped plastic containers already have candy in them and don't appear to be reusable. Buy a bucket of them, throw them out in the yard and you are done. Perhaps it's convenient, but all that plastic seems so wasteful and unnecessary. Is a plastic egg really more fun to find than a hard boiled one?

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Printing, Don't Shoot!
I've been really busy lately and neglecting the blog, but decided to do a quick post to share with you something funny that happens here at our house. Our printer is located right by the front door and when it starts to print, it sounds just like someone trying to open the door when it's locked. After a couple of times of freaking Rob out late at night, I realized that I needed to warn him when I was about to print, something along the lines of yelling "Fore" in golf. And my phrase of choice is... "Printing, Don't Shoot!"