THE DICHOTOMY OF FRIENDSHIP
Simply stated and in the most general sense of the word, there are 2 distinct kinds of friends. The permutations are endless because we are such high level "complicated beings".
First and foremost are the old friends or longtime friends... People you have known for 20 plus years (remember this is written from a 44 year old point of view, calibrate for your age) that flow in and out of your life without missing a beat. It doesn't matter how much time passes (unless one of you dies or goes crazy and forgets you) you can pick up at any time, at any juncture with those warm feelings intact.
I am fortunate to have... oh, let me count... more than a few of this variety. I can conjure them in my head and smile. People that love me, warts and all, no matter what. And I too, love them, no matter what they do.
Then there are the fairweather friends...bear with me it gets complicated from here. These are friends that are opportunistic. You really like them,and in some cases have known them for a long time, but when you get together, you can't help but feeling there is a non friendship motive involved, connections, money, your current station in relation to what equates as cool to them.As Ann would say, "what's convenient for the friendship" at the time...Unfortunately, I know a lot of people like this.
Some of them I had originally classified as old friends, only to learn from experience that they were not up to snuff.
But you continue to associate with them, because you like them. You can't count on them like old friends but you want to. They shine you on to the point of "piss off", then they do something so friend like (usually when you're drunk) they draw you back in...maybe a better term is vampiric friends...users.
Let me say that if I decide that you are my friend, I have your back, no matter what.
This is not something ever expressed (unless we are doing shots of Jager) but if I consider you a friend...I got your back, all the time...I'm just like that, and you can count on it.
And at some point you have to make a decision...do I put up with this quasi-friend bullshit or call them on it, knowing full well that they are so inherently shallow in regards to what true friendship means that they will undoubtedly flee the realm of friendship and leave you hanging... and if they do, what have you really lost?
Do you spend what seems to be an eternity before you tell someone to piss off or do you endure a lackluster friendship for the sake of having a friend to begin with.