Monday, January 30, 2006


One terrorist organization at a time. Of course, I'm talking about the Hamas win in Palestine in their recent election. A democratic election. On the way to work this morning, NPR was discussing this and the announcer said something to the effect of - I'm not sure this is what the Bush administration had in mind when it championed democracy in the middle east- and Cokey Roberts responded with what I believe was a chortle, followed by a confirmation that the administration was taken by surprise by the outcome.
So...democracy in the middle east is fine and dandy as long as the team the Bush administration wants in wins the election? That's sure what it sounded like to me...and that is not democracy.
Sometimes, you get what you pray for and it bites you on the ass George...You can't play the same shell game like it's Texas athletics on a world level, asshat.
Be sure and tune in for the State of the Union tomorrow, where you will hear six years of malfeasence and chicanery distilled into blue skies for everyone. Lame duck motherfucker...hopefully he won't destroy us all in the next 24 months...

Friday, January 27, 2006


And it's air america radio's fault, well, and that crime dog McGruff and his can't carry a tune in a fucking bucket nephew, Scruff. Thanks to the commercial that I hear at least 3 times on my 20 minute ride home, this abortion of a jingle pops into my head about 50 times a day. It doesn't make me want to take a bite out of crime however. It makes me want to kill scruff and his fucking uncle in a most painful and protracted manner. If you've not heard this little nugget of satan, click on the link below.
I dare you.
Someone shoot me PLEASE

Thursday, January 26, 2006


We're putting in a breaker panel in the Hogg auditorium...the back wall is curved, and the conduit is exposed, so it has to be curved as well, to ride on the wall. As my foreman is oft to say "It's magic time".
And it was...I'm not sure exactly how he did it, but he put a bow in that one inch conduit that rode the wall like a fucking glove. Everything was going well until we started hammer drillilling the holes in the 7 inch, 80 year old, concrete floor. Rebar everywhere! And some hard ass concrete...not to mention that underneath you have to walk around like that giant in the earthlink commercials, all humpbacked and crooked. I'll throw up some pics tomorrow.Asbestos warning signs EVERYWHERE.EWWWW.
My son wants to come over and cook us hamburgers this weekend and I think Ann is working on sunday...the day he wants to do it. He wants to do it here because we have a grill...You know lockhart isn't that far away but it's far enough to limit the time we get to spend with the kids and Sean, and that bothers me...alot.
I talked to Billy boy today...There's a job open where he works that he thinks Ann could do...regular hours, M thru F...blah blah blah...He knows she just got promoted, but that's just Bill...always looking out. I told him I was gonna come by tomorrow and pay him back for the loan and he says to me " I hope you know that's not why I called"....Come on dude...I know why you called. If you were worried about the money you would have never lent it in the first place. I know the value of friendship and so do you and enough about that.
This guy I work with brought me some Ice Cube CD's today...yes...he's a black guy...but I don't care about that shit...he shared some culture with me. And that's cool...Ice Cube fucking rocks, but I think he says "nigga" too much, but maybe that's because I'm white:).
I have this pain in my elbows that's been going on for about a month now, and my hands are shakier than usual...not sure what's up with that, but I'm concerned and will go see my doctor in the next couple of weeks.
Had to balance out the Ice Cube with some mountain, and I leave you with a passage that has followed me around for 30 plus years....
"Travellin' in the dark...can't see a thing".
Here's another...
"The wages of sin are too hot to handle".
So true.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Working, working, working
It's been long days at the office followed by more working from home at night. This is all my own doing, a result of wanting to make the most of this brief training time. All too soon I'll be busy with actual floor manager shifts, staff supervision and other duties. The more I learn now, the less time I'll have to spend figuring out how to get the job done when it really matters. Today I managed the floor with an experienced manager at my shoulder. I was only managing the call queue and not all the other stuff that needs to be done, but still I'd had enough after about four hours. I guess I did okay for a first try, but I'm going to have to get a lot better than that before my first solo run.

Tomorrow's going to be a pretty exciting day. It will be my first visit to the call center where my new job is located. I'll get to meet quite a few staff I've never seen in person and check out my new digs. I'll also be working the evening shift and going to work in the afternoon is going to feel really weird. Though this might turn out to be awesome because I've never been a morning person despite 25 plus years of having to go to work at 7 or 8 AM. I'll be pulling at least one evening shift a week in February so this will be a good test run.

Well, I did my best to stay up late tonight in preparation for tomorrow, but after getting up at 5 AM and putting in a 14 hour work day, I'm too pooped to make it to midnight so adios, amigos. I'll update the next time I get a chance to catch my breath.

Monday, January 23, 2006


Look what I can buy on the internet, or at any gun show within driving distance of my casa. And this is just for the 12 gauge. The descriptions are priceless...I especially like the "try your hand at being a 21st century cowboy today" WOOHOO!!! Let me launch a bolo at you at 1500 feet per second...just like the gauchos used to do when they threw them at you.

12 Gauge Specialty Ammo I

*You Must be 21 Years Old and Have Never Been Convicted of a Felony to Purchase Ammunition from this Website."

12gaFlash_Thunder.jpg 12GA Flash Thunder Grenade Ammo
This highly effective 12 gauge round produces a stun/diversion effect by using a bright blinding flash with an extremely powerful concussion blast from a 12 gauge shotgun muzzle. This device is not restricted by the BATF and is used by some of the most elite special forces and SWAT units around the world. It produces 182dB bang, 1.5 to 2 million candlea flash and over pressure on 1.5 to 2 atmospheric pressure units. It is truely an awesome experience indoors and out. Cannot be shipped to: P. O. Boxes, APO, GU, FPO, IL, HI, AK or PR. 23/4" round.

12GAmachogocho.jpg 12 GA. "Macho Gaucho"
The device made famous by the Argentine Cowboy is called the "bolo". This device consisted of two heavy balls connected by a string and was thrown at and wrapped around an animals legs causing it to trip. Now this idea has been adapted for the 21st century in the form of a 12 Gauge shotgun round. This round consists of two lead slugs connected by a steel wire that whirls and twirls during flight devastating your target. Try your hand at being a 21st century cowboy today. 2 3/4" round. Cannot be shipped to: P.O. Boxes, APO, GU, FPO, IL, HI, AK or PR.

12GAPIRANHA.jpg 12 GA. "Piranha"
This 12 gauge round contains dozens of razor sharp steel tacks that blast out at high velocity which virtually guarantees that there will no response from the perpetrator. Each round is buffed with #12 shot thus creating a double shock to the wound area. Absolutely will not harm your shotgun. To be used no closer than 10 feet and no further than 50 feet. Cannot be shipped to: P.O. Boxes, APO, GU, FPO, IL, HI, AK or PR.. 2 3/4" round.

12 Gauge Pit Bull
Pure Power! The Pit Bull is a powerful 12 gauge round packed with six 00-Buck pellets topped with a heavy-duty 1.3 oounce slug! Loaded extra hot for MAXIMUM stopping power. Once it bites it won't let go. This is the number one rated ammo for home and self defense.

12GATERM.jpg 12 GA. Terminator-X

The lethality contained within the hollow core slug of our terminator 12 GA. almost can't be advertised. Upon impact, this slug mushrooms and expands to nearly 2 inches, stopping the slug from totally penetrating your objective. This rapid expansion forces the dozen of tiny pellets to spread through your objective like a cancerous disease, opening an area at the impact point equal to a softball! The cavity created has the shock effect of 95%! That means only 5% of any living being could survive this kind of hit.23/4" round.

12GAarnrprcing.jpg 12 GA. "Armor Piercing"

This awesome round houses enough power to penetrate the thickest car doors, commercial steel doors and most objects up to 1/4" steel plate. This slug has a steel penetrator button, boosted by a very hot charge, has an unbelievable velocity to slice through metal like a hot knife slices through butter. (Cannot be shipped to addresses from California, New York City, and surrounding boroughs.) 23/4" round.

12gaTRACRpattern.jpg 12 GA. "Tracer Pattern"
"TRACER PATTERN" contains a tracer ball that travels with your shot pattern to show where you are hitting. This tracer ball is ballistically matched and remains near the center of the shot pattern for the effective range of a regular shell. "TRACER PATTERN" allows your hand-eye coordination to develop more quickly, allowing you to adjust your aim, reduce training time and wasted shots-thus improving your accuracy! The composition of the tracer compound is non-phosphourus & are non-corrosive to your shotgun & is fully visible day or night. (CANNOT BE SHIPPED TO NEW YORK CITY OR SURROUNDING AREAS.) 23/4" round

12gaFLMETHRWR.jpg 12 GA. "Flame Thower"
The 12 Ga. "Flame Thrower" round as pictured produces an enormous wall of fire for 250+ feet. The incendiary metal compound contained inside burns when fired at over 4000 degrees fahrenheit, showering your target in a momentary wall of flame. WARNING! Extreme fire hazard. Do not shoot in any dry grass foliage, trees, or near flammable materials. Don't shoot indoors. Use extreme caution. 23/4" round (Can't be shipped to California, Florida, Iowa, or New York City addresses.) NOTE: This round is considered to contain hazardous material (HAZMAT) requiring special shipping and handling charge. Please click here for more details.

12GAflechette.jpg 12 GA. "Flechette Shot Shells"
A Flechette is a small dart shaped projectile, that is clustered in an explosive warhead, dropped in a missile from an airplane or fired from a hand held weapon. One unique application of this 1 1/2" Flechette was to load these in a 12 GA. shotgun for taking out snipers hiding in thick brush or trees. Due to the penetration of these projectiles, tree limbs and brush would not disperse the darts. Even if some were dispersed, this would still have an all-covering pattern within a tree or brush. Generally 20 of these darts are placed in each 12 GA. shell. (Can't be shipped to Cal, Florida, or NYC addresses.)

12GAdblslug.jpg 12 GA. "Double Slug"
One shot, Two hits! You will double the punch, the impact and the chance of hitting your target all in one shot! This 12 GA round is loaded with two slugs that weigh 3/4 oz. each. The recoil is a little heavier than a standard 12 Gauge load, and so are the results! At 25 yards the two slugs will strike your objective about 2 inches apart. At 50 yards, the strike spreads to nearly a foot apart! Unbelievable twin knock-down power! 23/4" round.

12GAEXPLODER.jpg 12 GA. "Exploder"
A stabilized, finned slug with a deep hollow core for loading combustible materials. The exploder round has curved finns in the rear of the slug for stability. Recent D.O.T. regulations require that the "Exploder" hollow cavity be shipped unloaded. This allows you to load the cavity yourself, safely with no tools required. Use our formula or yours. Complete instructions included. Can't be shipped to California, Florida, Illinois, or New York City addresses. 23/4" round.

12GArhodjungle.jpg 12 Gauge "Rhodesian Jungle"
The "Rhodesian Junlge" rounds are great for in home defense! The combination of several large pellets surrounded by a mass of smaller pellets allows for double punching power to any intruder that is unlucky enough to cross it's path. Make the intruder think twice with this double whammer power. If the big pellets don't get you, the small ones will. 23/4" round.

12GAtridck.jpg 12 Gauge "Triple Decker"
These 12 gauge shells are loaded with nine large bead balls (three sets of three) stacked on top of each other. They pack a punch EXTREMELY heavier than the standard 12 gauge and the resullts are edxciting to see, hear, feel and completelty devesating. If impact is what you want, then the "Triple Decker" is what you need. Comes three shells to a package. 23/4" round.

This and more murderous material is available at FIREQUEST

I've got an idea for a 12 gauge shoots two giant ballon like hands and they grab you and give you a righteous noogie/wet willy simultaneously...I'll call it the hooberbloob.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

It's finally official
Well folks, I got the promotion and I'm off to spend a couple of hours this evening socializing with the other managers. I plan to do a little celebrating tonight, but I can't do too much since I have to be back at work doing my usual L2 job at 7:30 AM tomorrow (I'll continue doing that the rest of this week.) I then train for the new position next week and hit the floor running the week after that. I've been told it's a job you have to learn by doing so I'm hoping I learn fast and don't fall on my face too often. Well, time to go and start my new life as a manager - wish me luck.

Monday, January 16, 2006


Dan Rather did a segment on 60 minutes about the "Hermit Kingdom"...and unlike that bogus thing he did a few years back about Afghanistan, this one seemed to be legit. There can't be that many goose stepping koreans available locally in stupid hats, not even in the korean sections of San Francisco or for that matter the Bronx.These motherfuckers are serious and they are not intimidated by us one little bit. Witness this info I gathered with a google search ( I'll post the source at the end of what I feel are essential points).
Here we go....

North Korea has not only the military power but also the political will to wage total war against the United States.

This is the opening statement....

1. North Korea Can Engage the US in Total War

North Korea is one of the few nations that can engage in a total war with the United States. The US war planners recognize this fact. For example, on March 7, 2000, Gen. Thomas A Schwartz, the US commander in Korea at the time, testified at a US congressional hearing that "North Korea is the country most likely to involve the United States in a large-scale war."

And this is what they follow up with...granted, the quote is from 2000, but if these rinky dinky rice men* are for real, imagine what they have amassed between then and now.

Here's the strategy if our asshole of a president I mean the United States of Rich America attempts to intervene militarily...

2. North Korea's Massive Retaliation Strategy

North Korea's war plan in case of an US attack is total war, not the 'low-intensity limited warfare' or 'regional conflict' talked about among the Western analysts. North Korea will mount a total war if attacked by the US. There are three aspects to this war plan.

First, total war is North Korea's avowed strategy in case of US preemptive attacks. The US war on Iraq shows that the US can and will mount preemptive strikes in clear violation of international laws, and the United Nations is powerless to stop the US. Any nation that is weak militarily may be attacked by the US at will. It is reasonable for North Korea to deter US attacks with threats of total war.

Second, North Korea expects no help from China, Russia, or other nations in case of war with the US. It knows that it will be fighting the superpower alone. Nominally, China and Russia are North Korea's allies but neither ally is expected to provide any assistance to North Korea in case of war. Neither nation can or is willing to protect North Korea from attacks by the US, and North Korea alone can and will protect itself from US attacks. This principle of self-defense applies to all nations.

Third, North Korea's total war plan has two components: massive conventional warfare and weapons of mass destruction. If the US mounts a preemptive strike on North Korea's Yongbyon nuclear plants, North Korea will retaliate with weapons of mass destruction: North Korea will mount strategic nuclear attacks on the US targets. The US war planners know this and have drawn up their own nuclear war plan. In a nuclear exchange, there is no front or rear areas, no defensive positions or attack formations as in conventional warfare. Nuclear weapons are offensive weapons and there is no defense against nuclear attacks except retaliatory nuclear attacks. For this reason, North Korea's war plan is offensive in nature: North Korea's war plan goes beyond repulsing US attackers and calls for destruction of the United States.

The US war plan '5027' calls for military occupation of North Korea; it goes beyond the elimination of North Korea's weapons of mass destruction. The US military regards North Korea its main enemy and likewise North Korea regards the US its main enemy. South Korea, too, regards North Korea its main enemy but North Korea does not regard South Korea its main enemy because South Korea is a client state of the United States and has no ability or power to act independent of the US. North Korea's war plan is not for invading South Korea but for destroying the US.

Please notice that they have specifically mentioned WMD's that have the capability to reach "US targets"...these zipperheads*, clearly, aren't fucking around.

There's more...the largest special forces military in the world...armoured battallions with tanks specifically designed to navigate the terrain in korea, and the list goes on and on.

You can get the rest of it HERE if you want to read about a real threat.

*Rinky dinky rice men and Zipperhead only used to remind readers of the horrific losses we experienced in the pacific during WW II (Iwo, Guadalcanal et al ) and that "police action" in Viet Nam...two other asian peoples who clearly weren't fucking around. And here's another one for you, in case you still want to minimize the threat....Nanking

A REPRIEVE I'm sitting in front of the TV watching Court TV...background on the case that inspired the film Mississippi Burning. Hard to imagine that kind of pure hatred existed back then, harder even to imagine it still exists today. My phone rang about halfway through, and it was my friend Bill, drummer in our band and probably the one constants in my life since I was a kid. Bill and his family are blue collar all the way, hard working people who struggle more than they coast.
He read about our bind and offered to help. In a prideful moment, I almost turned him down, but there he was in our time of need in a position to help and offering to. I swallowed my pride and accepted.
We'll be able to pay him back quickly, but that's beside the point. The point is he got my back without me asking, in fact it never occurred to me to ask anyone outside of immediate family.
I am reminded again that I have a bigger family than I know sometimes, and that measures similar to this done by me but long forgotten are remembered by the ones I did it for.
What goes around comes around...the circle game, ya know?
Thanks again Billy boy...and if there ever is a next time ( and lets hope there isn't ) for you...I'll get your back.

Sunday, January 15, 2006


Since I've been doing this electrician thing, there has only been one bummer part of it connected with working for the university. When they close down for the holidays, we don't work. That equals no paycheck for the duration. There is no vacation time, but a vacation fund. I pulled out my money this year with the conviction that we would have a christmas this year, and we did. I'm glad we did that, and even with careful planning we find ourselves in the shitter again money wise. Nothing we can't dig out of in short order with one exception...Ann has posted about an outstanding electric bill.
They will most certainly cut off our power on tuesday and revoke our payment plan, which means we have to pay the full balance to get our power turned back on. Ouch. If we end up having to do that, that will delay the digging out for a bit. Power includes water, I can live without lights and TV and this, but I must admit, not being able to bathe or use the indoor plumbing presents some serious problems.
In a pre emptive move, tomorrow morning I'm going to take advantage of our giant sinks and fill them with water, also the bath tub. We have a gas stove, after all, so bathing will be a hassle, but possible.
We have several flashlights and a shitload of candles.
Worst case, we will be pioneers for 3 or 4 days, I'll get paid and get the power turned back on. And we'll start over... again.
This would almost be exciting and adventerous if it did'nt suck choad like a crack whore on a 5 rock binge....

Saturday, January 14, 2006

My top two real stories from internet tech support

Customer unable to get email. Account has not been setup in Outlook Express. Directed customer to account setup, but customer states she cannot read. However, customer can spell and was able to make it through the setup process. Customer now able to receive email. (Let's hope her friends/family are sending pictures.)

Customer states someone is hacking into her internet connection. Customer's computer is in the shop, but she hears the modem dialing and knows they are in her attic using her connection. Suggested customer change her password, but customer states she has done this before and they always know the new password because they are listening in on the phone when she changes it. Suggested customer call us from a more secure location, perhaps a payphone, to change her password. (Some folks really are nuts and there are times when it's best to just play along.)
The lights are still on for now, but I haven't come up with any way to pay that bill. All day I've been having a recurring daydream/fantasy where I'm hanging out in the backyard near the electric meter with a shotgun in my hand threatening to shoot anyone who tries to turn it off. For some reason the sound track to this fantasy is the song 99 Luftballons which is in German. I heard it a few times in real life back when it was popular, but I have no idea what the lyrics mean other that it's probably about balloons. I'm not sure how it ties in and I can think of over a dozen songs that would be more appropriate, but instead I'm stuck with this one rattling around in my head. I'm definitely going to have to throw some music on the stereo to purge it from my system, but I'll have to wait since Rob's napping at the moment.

Actually, I should probably wake Rob up since we are supposed to put the Pope puzzle together tonight. Rob found this commemorative puzzle of Pope John Paul II in the bargain bin at HEB for $1 and he just couldn't resist. And who knows, maybe putting the puzzle together will catch the attention of the Catholic God and he'll send $250 our way tomorrow. Never know, could happen.


I've been surfing porn on the internet long enough to see midget porn come and go more than a couple of times (Yay! midget porn!!!). Sometimes you come across stuff that is just too mind boggling to wrap your head (much less your private bits) around. With that said, I present this image for your's not gross and there is no nudity, but I'm still not sure it's safe for work.

Oink- Oink baby!

go ahead, discuss amongst yourselves.
Got a light?
They say it's always darkest before the dawn and it's going to be mighty dark if I don't magically pull some money out of thin air to pay the electric bill. It's particularly discouraging because we skimped so much over the holidays in an effort to avoid this very situation. It seems absurd that I would be sitting here this morning crying big fat tears and wanting to just give up and check out over a $250 electric bill, but that's exactly what's happening. Of course, it's not just this one bill, but a long couple of years of dealing with the same sort of thing day after day, week after week and I suppose I'm overdue for a pity party. Best to get it out of my system before I head off to work and pretend I'm the happiest person in the world so I can sound cheerful while talking to assholes on the phone. This too shall pass. Hopefully by tonight I'll be back to my usual stand up and fight attitude and can come up with a game plan to keep the lights on.

Friday, January 13, 2006


Here's a local news story from's not pretty. This crazy bitch stabbed a dog 27 times because she was fighting with her estranged husband. And it wasn't even his dog.

Friday January 13 2006

7 16 pm

Woman stabs, kills dog
1/12/2006 5:30 PM
By: News 8 Austin Staff

An Austin woman turned herself in to police Thursday, charged with animal cruelty.

Investigators say Joanne Hinojosa stabbed a dog to death at a home in South Austin.

The dog belonged to a friend of Hinojosa's husband. She is separated from her husband.

Hinojosa was arguing violently with her husband and the friend outside the house and was then was left alone inside with the dog, witnesses said.

One man called the police and when officers arrived, they say they found the dog bleeding with a knife sticking out of its side.

They took the animal to an animal hospital but doctors could not save the dog. The dog had 27 stab injuries when it got to the hospital, doctors said.

Police say in situations of family violence, animals are also at risk.

"This is not the first time that these two crimes have been linked. I believe in reading this, that her anger with her estranged husband was what did cause her to vent those frustrations on the dog," Lt. Doug Dukes of the Austin Police Department said.

Hinojosa faces state jail felony charges for animal cruelty.

It never fails to amaze me how cruel people can be when it comes to animals. I know what I would do this bitch, and trust me, it's not in the choices below.

Please vote in the comments on what her punishment should be based on the following choices:

1. 2 years in prison for cruelty to animals, plus 2 years for domestic violence ( these are the charges she is actually facing).

2. Stab her 27 times and see what happens.

3. Lock her in a pen with ( insert your favorite aggressive breed dog here) covered in pigs blood.Put the key to the lock on the dogs collar and give her a box of milkbones as her only "weapon".

4. Community service at an animal shelter for a year, plus extensive therapy to help her deal with her issues.

5. Rend her into a bag of science diet.

6. Enter your own punishment.

Results (if there are any) posted over the weekend.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006


Americans overwhelmingly lack confidence that Iraq will have a stable government in place within the next year, but those who believe the war is worth its cost is rising, according to a CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll released Wednesday. Meanwhile, President Bush said the Iraqi insurgency would not shake his determination to succeed there: "I just want to tell you, whether you agree with me or not, they're not going to shake my will. We're doing the right thing," he said.

Here's the headline for this little gem...

Poll: Americans gloomy about Iraq's future

Are we really suppose to think that any person dodging bullets in Iraq right now gives a flying fuck what the infidels think about the atrocity going on in their country that they are, by extension, responsible for? Give me a fucking break.
GLOOMY??? Come on now...CNN...I can think of a 1000 better adjectives to describe the feeling about what's going on in Iraq right now. Deeply ashamed and overwhelmed with guilt come to mind.

Plus, the added bonus of the bunnypant's quote ending with "we're doing the right thing". Right after he says " they're not going to shake my will". Surely I'm not the only one who didn't miss this egocentric and sociopathic, yet confused statement...we are doing the right thing, following his will. One name comes to mind when I read this,'s the same old shit in a new bag and the stamp on the bag is the american flag instead of a swastika.

Some right wing bitches are feeling "gloomy" about Iraqs future while they sit, safe at home in america? Please.

On a related note...Iran has resumed their nuclear research, thumbing their nose at the UN and the world...specifically us, the U S of Fucked UP America. Bush has been for an excuse to bomb Iran for a long time now. His aunt jemima secretary of state has as much as said so in recent months...god, i hate that woman...tool of the man and a disgrace to her people, but that's another post.
Here's a scenario for you...we bomb the research sites they have reopened and kill a shitload of Iranian civilians in the process. The Iranian army enmasse piles across the border into Iraq and pummels the shit out of our undermanned for even a bunch of insurgents forces...and just for spite, sends a couple hundred thousand into Israel, just to shake it up a bit.
Think about a quarter pound of C-4 in a soda can on the side of the road and compare it to an armoured division of american hating Iranians backed by a fundamentalist government swarming over a country in chaos. Killing 1000's in an all out fucking war instead of this bullshit they call a war.This is not a war, it's a gang fight. Here's another potential headline for you ... Iraq insurgency replaced by Iranian INVASION.
Now that's gloomy.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006


When I take Sully to the store, he loves the ride, and especially loves the stop in our little park, as does Irene. The ride home is one greeted with wagging tails and joy. Joy from an escape from the boredom that is the life of a house dog. They love it. Well so does the alpha dog, Theo. He jumps around just like his brother and sister, he greets the leash with the same kind of canine joy that can only be compared to me finding a half gram of lebanese hash in a long forgotten stash box. He rides well to the store, it's the ride home where he melts down and turns into a simpering dribbling dick of a dog, crashing his head into me and my components in a desparate attempt to escape what is to him, certain fucking death. If he can physically pass through me and the car door and somehow make it to the front door in one piece he's happy. Once inside, he reverts to his old alpha dog self, like nothing happened. Until the next trip to the store.
Ann and I discussed it, and decided that Theo needed the "hamburger treatment"...meaning that when he freaked like he freaked, I would drive past the house and go straight to the nearest burger place and buy him a burger...feed it to him in the parking lot and bring him home. It was marginally successful. He liked the burger part of it, but after the justa-burger with cheese was gone, he reverted to his old pussy bitch self...trying to push his way through me and the door of the car making noises that sounded like this: "Owwwweeeeerrrruuuuumungmungmunghamphamphamperrrwooohampwoohampwoo" over and over while stomping on my instrument column and trying to dislocate my shoulders in a fervent giant pussy attempt to exit the vehicle. Further evidence to his pussiness was he never once agressed towards me or tried to bite. He may be the alpha dog, but I am the alpha alpha dog. I am king of the pack and he knows how far he can push his shit.
So the hamburger thing was marginally successful when i took him to the store with me tonight. I had expressed earlier concern that this approach would just teach him he could be a spazz in the truck and get treats, so I saw a chance and I took it.
The corner store sells half dollar sized bites of jerkey...I bought some and when I got back in the truck, I stuck the bag under his nose so he could smell what was afoot and told him " If you don't act like an ass on the way home, I will feed you this snack of the gods" and off we went.
Of course he started up with the whiney assed pussy dog routine in the usual spot...I shoved the bag of jerkey under his nose and we had the following conversation...

Theo: "Owwwweeeer"...Me: (cutting him off in that loud "I'm a human, therefore more powerful than you" voice) "Shut up you fucking call yourself an alpha dog???
What is alpha dog about you acting like a bitch about going home from a mission, you giant pussy, plus I got this jerkey for your sorry ass if you can manage to not piss on yourself before it's sniff this ( I shove the bag of jerky under his pussy nose and he is instantly steeled by the smell, dog balls sprout from nowhere ) but not before he is freaked out by the smell of me turning another corner on the road. That hill sets him off. Closer to home.
Theo: "Owwweeeerrrreeeehoowwwwww..." Me: "Shut the FUCK up you sorry bitch...WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU??? Are you not the fucking alpha dog"? Theo:"Hreeeeowwwump!Pant pant pant...unghhhh,hamp, hamp, errreeeowww".
Me: "What is your fucking problem Theo? You are the king of this roost, but right now you are the biggest pussy dog that ever you not want this jerkey treat I bought for you? Sit your ass down and BE A MAN...are you a pussy or a mandog...bitch. ( a side note...all these gender specific terms are not confusing to dogs, just bitches in prison.)
Theo: "eeeerrrooowwwrrr..." settles down and goes into the house without trying to take me out after recieving 4 shining silver dollars of beef jerkey.
I think I like my plan better, I think Theo likes it better too. We have an agreement.
Fucking dogs...I love them...
Our alpha dog is a bitch...but we won't advertise...for now.

Saturday, January 07, 2006


Yep...that's me...a relic of a time gone by. I made it. To middle age. So far it has sucked a major dick. I don't have the money to buy a flashy sports car and I'm not inclined to strike up a fling with one of my coworkers ( considering they are all crusty ass guys like me) to shake things up. So, here I sit, 46 years old with a volume of stories about how it was back in the day (see Uriah Heep link from yesterday) when hippies ruled the day and everything was groovy.
So how do you go comfortably into obscurity after all that ? I don't mean for Uriah to be the be all - end all of a generation, but they were a big part of my life back then, and the other bands of the day, and the social political climate of the times effected me to no end. But that's's gone, only to be held in memory.
When does it stop? When do we as a collective say "ok, that's far enough, we've reached a balance".
But evolution won't let us stop the ride, it allows us to look back and remember what we had that was replaced by something else in a constant push forward. I'm tired of the push...and that's what makes me a dinosaur.
I must be an elephant...the memories tell me so. And...blah blah blah.

Friday, January 06, 2006

The torture of "what if"
I can't help but play it through my mind. What if I DO get the job? I'm so glad the question didn't come up in the interviews as to my own thoughts about how I would perform because I have my doubts. I have to remind myself that I never thought I'd make it as a technical support rep, but I tried to do my best and improve my skills as much as possible and that seems to have worked out quite well. I suppose there's no reason I couldn't just do more of the same if I land the manager position. I can offer plenty of dedication and effort to a job, but past experience has taught me that's not always enough. But past experience has also taught me that you'll never know how you'll do until you actually try something. Now if this sounds like I'm doing a self-pep talk, that's because it is. I've got no shortage of people around me saying what a great job they think I could do, but it's the voice in my head that needs convincing and it's pretty stubborn. It likes to nag me that if I can't be perfect or the best then I shouldn't even bother or it will tell me I can't do it all. I've done an excellent job of thumbing my nose at that voice during my life, but it's been a constant battle. The interesting thing is that instead of that voice being a curse, it's actually been a blessing. Without it I would never have built a race car, switched careers several times, played bass in a band or a thousand other things I have dared to do. Because for a rebellious soul like me, having a voice whispering "you can't" is an extremely effective motivational tool. So tonight and the next day and the day after that I will wield my imaginary sword against that inner demon and I'll win many battles, but I'll never quite vanquish it completely. And that's quite okay with me since my enemy is also my friend.
Don't know the interview outcome yet...
But I've been told the decision will be announced some time next week.

And those hippy chicks rocking out in the were the days.

Uriah Heep "live" 1972

They couldn't possibly be miming this could they?
I love it.

Thursday, January 05, 2006


I've got my morning routine down to fine science. I know how many times I can hit the snooze button and still get up in time to shower, dress and hit the road landing me at work with at least 10 minutes to spare depending on traffic. Several other things must be aligned on the same plane for this to happen. Clean clothes in the proper place is high on the list. This morning I had no clean jeans and my dirty ones were beyond the point of re-wearing, there were no clean shirts hanging in the closet, and there was one black sock in the dryer, hiding amongst the sleep pants and sweatshirts I had to dig through...this takes time! I'm on a schedule dammit...I've got five minutes to dress and hit the time to waste! The first shirt I grabbed had a giant hole in the armpit...ok for weekend wear, but not for work. Holes are ok, providing they are small and work related, but this hole was big and age related.
Spinning narrowly close to a meltdown, Ann produced a pair of clean jeans...but they were 36's, which means I need to cinch, which meant I had to dig through the giant pile of dirty jeans on the floor of the bedroom and find my belt...tick-tick-tick...found it! Now, to match the sock...tick-tick-tick...ain't happening, find black and white speckled sock hiding in the corner of the drawer, it'll have to do. Tick-tick-tick. Grab Son Volt tour shirt from 96 and pull it pocket, but it will have to do...Ghadammit! Times a wastin'!!! Finally, I'm all together and heading for the door, when evil mr. stomach gives a twist...DOUBLE ghadammit!!! Do an about face and wonder if there is such a thing as speed shitting...there isn't, not today anyway.BTW, have you ever taken a dump with a turtle staring at you? It's unsettling, trust me, especially considering that Times a wastin'!!! and there's the slowest animal on earth watching you do your business.Even in my near panic, the irony of that moment didn't escape me...
And my socks don't match...routine is sometimes illusion.
But I still got to work on time.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006


When I first heard about this, I was transported back to being a 12 year old listening to the Bee Gees greatest hits vol. I ( pre deconstruction into disco whores ) and the song "New York Mining Disaster 1941"...and in particular the words :

I keep straining my ears to hear a sound.
Maybe someone is digging underground,
or have they given up and all gone home to bed,
thinking those who once existed must be dead.

I don't know how many of you have been in a mine, but I have. The Molly Kathleen mine in Cripple Creek, Colorado...inactive and a tourist attraction at the time, but the set up original, right down to the claustrophobic elevator that bounced from side to side as a red light passed for every hundred feet we descended packed in like sardines. narrow tunnels littered with the tools of the trade. It was an experience. And looking at the "widow maker" gave visual creedence to the old blues standard.

Mining has always been dangerous uncles on my moms side were miners, as was my was a family tradition, apparently. A dangerous tradition.
WWII provided all the danger my uncles needed so they fell prey to the germans before the mines got them. But anyway, back to the point.

This particular mine had been sited many times for safety violations, as this
CNN report hints at. From what I heard on Air America today it's a lot worse. But here's the worse members were initially told that 12 of 13 had survived. There was much celebration and joy over this but it turned out that 1 of 13 had survived...the media has the families on tape singing the praises of the rescuers and GOD and then berating both with profanity and recriminations, obviously stunned by the reversal of fortune, described by some some as a "miracle taken away".
The mining company is attempting to downplay this unfortunate outcome by mumbling about a "miscommunication" between rescuers in the mine and support staff on the ground. Some media are blaming other media for trying to beat the news cycle and break a feel good story to distract the country from the crime in progress that is the war in Iraq.

12 people died trying to make a living in a dangerous trade working for a company that, according to record, could give a shit about safety or the people working for them.
My heart goes out to these people who were told one thing good and then one thing very very bad.
I can't imagine how I would feel, but I wouldn't let the media steer my grief regardless of the end of the spectrum.

In the event of something happening to me,
there is something I would like you all to see.
It's just a photograph of someone that I new.

Have you seen my wife, Mr. Jones?
Do you know what it's like on the outside?
Don't go talking too loud, you'll cause a landslide, Mr. Jones.


Now that I have that behind me...
I didn't say in my earlier post, but Rob let the cat out of the bag that the interview was for a position at my current employer. I was told that it's a tough interview with quite a few trick questions thrown in. Well, it turns out the interviews were not difficult at all, but I don't think I got the job. Some of my hypothetical supervision decisions didn't sit so well, but I can't erase 15 years of experience in Human Resources and while it might have been the right answer from an HR perspective, it didn't seem to be the answer they wanted to hear. That's nothing new to me since I spent a lot of years in HR fighting that particular battle with "management", but I didn't have the platform here to defend my decision so there's no telling how it will go down. And I don't particularly care one way or the other. If I stay an L2 then I'll make the most of that position, if I get promoted then I'll run with that. I suppose that's a real advantage to getting older. It's a whole lot easier to just roll with the punches.

Ann has the support of her team leader, and from what I can gather, many of the other team leaders. And while the competition may be stiff, it's mostly young and unstable and upwardly mobile in a way that folks are age are not...sure, we want a better life too, but we have been indoctrinated in spades that the way you get there is by trudging along and doing your best and by some sort of magical connection, management will recognize your commitment and reward you accordingly. Now while this flies in the face of our zoom zoom 21st century lifestyle, Ann has something to offer that may or may not be a fading asset...dedication.
To put your all into whatever job you find yourself in...extra time, extra hours, extra thought to the ins and outs of the day to day stuff. Dedication.
Plus, she's got the smarts real good when it comes to computers...she was playing around with them when they took up a whole room and spit out those hole punchy cards that geeks like her would translate...that I am typing this and able to post it it testament to her vast experience in the got a problem, she can solve it nine out of ten.
And that one out of ten, she'll call you in a week with the answer.
Relentless...yes, that's the word.
Now, let's talk about the shopping. The shopping for interview clothes. Ann asked me to go with to help her choose an outfit. I wear jeans and T shirts at work, both are frequently full of holes and stain ridden. Alright, there was a time in my life that I wore button downs and a tie and slacks and actually looked at myself in the mirror without gagging...I know something about putting together an outfit, but it's in my past and not something I'm particularly proud of...But that Elizabeth Taylor tie rocked, and it blended well with the dockers chinos and the denim button down.
Anyway, we started at Bealls, in the womens section, which is not the junior section, or (gasp) the petite section. Womens is fashion code for big. Tonight I learned that you , as women can either be a little bit big or jabba the hut...there is no middle ground. I also learned why Ann hates to shop for these kinds of casual...what the hell is that? You're either business or casual in my mind. Ann assurred me it would be 30 minutes in and out. I didn't care how long it took but I was hoping for the projection. My hope was beaten down, as we spent 45 plus minutes at this store...with me sitting outside the changing room while the old ladies who worked there walked by pretending not to check me out, like I was stalking the fitting rooms at Bealls looking for some middle aged was amusing.
We left Bealls with nary a purchase and headed for the Dickies store...SCORE. Black jeans and a really nice panelled black and grey button down...they flatter Ann and I think will serve her well in her interview...all work...all business, is what this ensamble projects, for the business she's in.
If they pass her over they're idiots.
Wish her luck...:)
And yes, the shopping killed me.
Cross your fingers for Annabelle.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Hello 2006
I have an interesting start to the year in that I have a job interview tomorrow for a mid-management position. I was asked to apply for the job, but it's by no means a sure thing. In fact, I think the odds are pretty slim that I would be chosen over the rest of the rather stiff competition, but I've got nothing to lose by trying.

It didn't freak me out that I'm being interviewed the VPs, the Chairman of the Board and the Chief Financial Officer - been down that road plenty of times before. We are either going to be on the same page or not and there's no telling until the interview. If it's not a good fit, then I pray they don't decide to hire me because there's nothing worse than working for top management with a viewpoint that varies widely from your own (been there and done that.)

What did freak me out was figuring out what to wear with just 24 hours notice. Mid-management seems to all wear khaki slacks and polo shirts (it's mostly guys) and I own neither. I do have some "interview" clothes but I would be way overdressed and the interviews are after my shift so I'd spend the day miserable on the phones in those clothes. I finally settled on a new pair of black jeans and a new button down shirt. It won't win me any interview points, but at least I'll be comfortable.

And now I suppose I should go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a long day with eight hours on the phones followed by two hours of interviews. I suspect that sleep is not going to come easy tonight so I might as well get on it.

Sunday, January 01, 2006


Nope...don't have one, don't want one, don't need one. I've set myself up for years with these things...these resolutions. You know...lose weight, I've weighed roughly the same since I was 19 years old, the days of ripped and skinny ended for me when I was 17. If I can keep it under 200 till I kick, it's all good. Or how about that quit smoking...I've quit hundreds of times, it finally occurred to me that I will quit some day, so why continue to set myself up? And be a better person. If I haven't figured out how to be a decent human being in 46 years then just drown me in the river in a burlap bag like I did those kittens (Just kidding).They were actually puppies.
So no resolution sir. But I can tell you how I spent my first day of 2006...
On the couch, in my flaming dragon boxers, watching the TV and drinking mimosas and beer.All day. Band of brothers and Psychic detectives and comedy central...all day.I even watched some show called lock down on MsNbc about high security prisons and the people in them. I was struck by thier random violence against each other and the indignant reactions to the prison officials attempts to contain it."They treat us like animals" shit...animal. Jeez... With a revolving cast of canine characters on the couch beside me. With Ann behind me playing her new sims in her pj's...drinking mimosas and beer. Exchanging commentary on the shit on the TV and the nuances of the sims.
Anyway...I'm back at it bright and early tomorrow, and we'll see how it goes from there.

And how did you spend yours? I got up at half past eight and headed out to a side job that didn't happen. I had a new years eve breakfast with my foreman and his daughter and then headed south for home. Let me clarify something here...I refer to him as the foreman, the boss, et al. But when you get right down to it, he is my friend that I happen to work for. So anyway...I'm heading home and I can't remember when the booze house closes for the year, so I swing by and grab a small bottle of the blessed monopolova, only to get home to realize there are no suitable mixers available.
That's ok... I can wait, besides Ann is working and SCI-FI has a twilight zone marathon.
And that's how I spent my new years eve...watching the twilight zone. There was of course the trip to the store for munchies...Queso and little smokies and salsa and fritos...yum. Ann played eve on line and drank beers, and we fielded barky, needy dogs together...little smokies and fritos with queso can go a long way to shutting up the hammering hounds.
Midnight rolled around and we hugged and kissed each other, and agreed to save the totsi till tomorrow.
I stayed up to write this and kill the monopolova.
I got one more round to go, and the zone is still playing out on the the meantime I hear lame ass fireworks going off in the hood.
And I hope they don't catch my house on fire...stupid bitches...there's a burn ban in effect.
Fuck it! Lets party!!!
I got a tent.