Sunday, March 07, 2004

The late 80's- early 90's were filled with illness and death and a crazy bitch I lived with for 8 years, who had her fair share of illness and death in her family. Parents died, pets died. It was beginning to look like a dark decade. Fuck was dark.
Reality was the beast and we avoided the beast the only way we And party we did, until we hated each other. I think we probably hated each other all along, but the HTML was good, go figure.
A party can only absorb so much illness and death before it's over, and the party was over in Oct. '93.
One conversation stands out in my head. I had spent the day digging a grave for my dog Buddy, who was at my vets office suffering from hip dysplasia and arthritis and just old age... the halloween freeze that year got him. Buddy and I had been together for 12 years. My vet gave buddy the shot with his head in my lap, he died, I lost my shit.
I drove home with his head in my lap, crying like a baby. I carried him out back and buried him with his bowls and favorite toys. I went in the house and got a beer.
Me and the crazy bitch sat across from each other at the bar, it went like this:
Crazy Bitch: "Maybe I should stay". (we had broken up 3 weeks earlier, her brother was flying in the next day to help move her home).
Me: "No, That's the thing with us...we're good in a crisis but we suck at the everyday".
"You need to go home, I'll get through this buddy thing".
We stared at each other and knew the truth... The next day she was gone.
Good riddance.
I had known Ann for years, since the early 80's. There was always a spark, but we were otherwise comitted and couldn't act on any spark until the christmas party of '93.
Relieved of our burdens, we finally hooked up and almost 10 years later, here we are.
My girl.
So here I am... complete...?

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