Friday, February 27, 2009


Thursday, February 26, 2009


Slow roasted carnitas in garlic and ginger...Shrimp and pork egg rolls with home made fried rice with scallions and carrot. I know, my stove top is a wreck...sue me.
I never got a picture of the old man on my snore cot , but the Beenz obliged me.Damn...she's cute!
I'm meeting an old friend for dinner tomorrow afternoon...I haven't seen him in a long time. In fact , the last time I saw him he snuck up on me on the hike and bike trail back when I was working for the pool company.We've talked on the phone sporadically since and by sporadic I mean not very much. He lives out of town and doesn't get here much.
Back in the day , we were unit managers together , band mates ( Left for Dead days )and enablers of each others bad habits / demons. We had each others back. I'm looking forward to seeing him.
I've got a PonyRide CD for him...I think he'll be surprised by it. I stayed with the music while he did not , at least not in the way I did. We've known each other for a long time...he's one of a small group of folks who have known me since I was young.
I don't know why that matters but it does. Actually I think I do.
He has the whole picture...almost 30 years of living. He knows where I started and understands ( I think ) why I landed here and he'll be around for what's coming.And hopefully , he'll understand that too. Whatever it ends up being.
Old friends are very be able to look at them and transport yourself across the years is a gift.
Moments in time.

I picked this up over at Texas Oasis and thought it would be a pretty simple exercise.I , of course , was wrong. There's just too much music I've crammed into my head during my life.So I did my best. This goes from present to past and may even jump around in the middle a bit....

Band of Horses are currently in heavy rotation...I love the multiple guitars and that voice.
Uncle Tupelo were and remain a favorite.See also Son Volt and Wilco.
(Reckoning) My favorite dead record.See also American Beauty , Workingman's Dead.
I got the original pressing of this when I lived in Manitou Springs.My friends looked at me funny. I eventually had all of their stuff.
Have loved this band since high school...I got the 4 disc coffee table book set a couple of years back.
The greatest punk band ever...been a fan since 82.I got to see them at Emos in 04 and met the singer , Dick. It was a brush with greatness.
The amazing Crass...more a movement than a band , but incredible nonetheless.
I bought this single in intro to punk and my musical life was never the same.
Another amazing band...the anger...I tapped in...another focus of my completest way of buying music.
Incredible in high school...incredible today.
Another high school staple...
And yet another...

The remaining three are the first albums I ever had that were mine.I wore them out.
My parents gave me Hendrix and CCR for Christmas ( I think I was 12 ) and I bought the GFR at the PX with my allowance.These three are the reason I play.

You can do this too if you want...

As the years have gone by Theo has decided that I am the shit...I love him as well.Well, we have this thing we do where we "talk" to each other.I'll give him an "urrrrg" and he gives me one back , and we go back and forth. He matches duration and's pretty cool. And we always have are faces close together , usually touching foreheads.
So Ann tells me one night last week I was asleep and she was watching TV and Theo was between us with his head next to mine on the pillow and I was emitting a little snore on the exhale.And he was responding to me with little snores of his own...apparently for several minutes.
That's pretty cool if you ask me.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


Tuesday, February 24, 2009


I was cruising back from a friends shop today...yeah , I actually got something done.And I was listening to KUT and they had this woman in the studio by the name of Mary Gauthier (go-shay) who is fucking amazing.
Her back story is amazing as well.
I tried to find something to put here but could only find poor live audience made videos at youtube...this is one of the songs featured on the broadcast I heard today.

You can check her myspace page or her official page for more.
A much better day for me.Good nights sleep...I set up a cot in the living room with my new was nice.Got up with the sun and took the foghorn, I mean Annabelle, to work and when I got home the cot had been commandeered by the dogs.Theo ended up with it and when I left he was majorly stretched out and fast asleep.
I should have taken a picture.

Monday, February 23, 2009


I could never explain how much this song means to me

Every version I could find cut off before the official end...drunken Irish!:)


In the last 48 hours I have:

Not slept at night - at all - between the snoring and the old dog chewing on himself it has been impossible. As a result , I have been sleeping during the day not getting a god damn thing done around here , or anywhere else for that matter.

Tried to download some music onto a friends Ipod only to repeatedly lock up my computer. I never liked Ipods , and now I fucking hate them. There is no on/off button?! What the fuck is up with that? If it was mine it would be broken into a million pieces - some of them embedded in the wall.But since it isn't , I just gave up and moved on.

I moved everything around in the bedroom this evening and that went well until I hooked the cable up to the TV. Bad coaxial cable it now the TV is back where it was , out of reach of the components. But at least the cable is back.

Anyway...blah blah blah.

I will try to have a productive day tomorrow.

Sunday, February 22, 2009


And with a different tent...

Friday, February 20, 2009


I decided with Annabelle tonight that I should go way back in the woods for a few days.So me and Irene are heading out Monday for 3 days of primitive camping.I'm going to Turkey Creek and I'm just going to bust off the trail and pitch this tent.

I have done a shit load of camping in my life , but have never spent much time alone.I have always been surrounded by friends and family so some time alone might be good for me.
I am in need of a change.
So I'm heading out to the boonies with my girl and my guitar and a camera and all that other shit (like food and water) but no booze.Oh yeah...a gun.
I'm excited about this.

I went and got my ticket this morning...along with my final check and a summary of my hours since I've been with this contractor...9,112.50 hours.
I said good bye to the important people...and by that I mean the people who are important to me...not because of the status they have.I don't care about that shit.but I still care about people.Especially people who have had an impact on my life.
Irene has been my shadow more than usual today...I guess she knows somethings bothering me.
I wish she could tell me what it was.
I got my unemployment info in the mail at least that's on line.
I'm reminded of an old Springsteen lyric : "And it made me feel like I was one hundred years old".

Yeah...there it is.

Thursday, February 19, 2009


And I found this...a ticket stub to the past...this was my first date with Annabelle.
The Lemonheads at Liberty Lunch...

I held it in my hands and remembered the magic of that time.Nothing has changed.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009



I was looking for something to use as a tablet in bed to draw out the redesign on our bedroom and I came across a book on american box turtles...that'll work I said to myself. But there were papers inside that looked like bookmarks.
I pulled them out and found this.
3 black dogs.It's been so many years since I've seen this image...2003 I think.
But there they are...from left...Theo - Irene - and my beloved Sully.
I miss him so much.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


I have been searching for this song for fucking years...I guess persistence pays off.
Another place another time.
Shoo Flu

I think I'm finally over this flu bug. I went to work all 6 days last week even though I felt like crap and then pushed myself on Sunday (my one day off) to hit the grocery store and do laundry instead of staying in bed. Yesterday I went back to work again, despite the fever, made the callbacks that absolutely had to be done, but then I finally gave up, went home and just let myself be sick. It was time to lay down, feel horrible, let the fever do as it wanted to chase the bugs out of my system. And it worked - the fever broke around 2 am this morning and I went back to work this morning feeling much improved. Change is good.

Monday, February 16, 2009


We have these camping mattresses that self inflate when you unroll them...we got them when we got married 15 years ago and much to my surprise, the still work...Annabelle was bringing in ships from the night when I decided that poking her was not the answer.

I busted one out and made a palate.

Right by the Band of horses will sing me to sleep.
It's like a camping trip...and I don't have to poke Annabelle...she can get her rest.
Now, as long as the dogs don't fuck with me we are golden.:P

There's this scene in Hamburger Hill about midway through the ten day assault where the surviving guys are talking about what they miss about being home and this kid busts out with "I want a corndog with mustard". And everyone on the hill with him gets it.
A simple request / desire really , in the midst of the chaos and confusion and uncertainty. Something familiar .
Since I'm currently out of corndogs , I'm having steak fries with mustard.
I've been sick since Saturday , and while I'm feeling better , Annabelle is deflicted with the same thing now. These events have nearly derailed my pre layoff plan , but I got back on the rails this afternoon.
I believe the fries will help to that end. I'm not scared...just tired.

Just an FYI...never bake steak fries unless you like shoe leather in your diet...I'm going with cucumber slices with caramelized onion and bacon dressing instead (Irene likes these as well...apparently) . I blurred out my desk...

And the breathe right strips do not work for Annabelle...she is still honking away.
It's gonna be a long night.

Saturday, February 14, 2009


This has always been one of my favorite songs by the sisters...the version I had was on vinyl and called the reptile house import I picked up at Sound Exchange WAY back in the day.I found this on YouTube a couple of weeks ago and I can't tell you how hard it was to wait until today to post it.

Dance the ghost with me.:)

So I had big plans for today (actually yesterday at this point) but they got derailed from the get go because Annabelle took the car without me because I was moving to slow and was gonna make her late. I was going to do some side work for a friend , but that didn't happen either. I was also going to see a musician friend of mine and make some music but I had forgotten about a previous commitment to go play poker with that got rain checked.I was also suppose to have lunch with our old neighbor Jen...she is pregnant (!) and was full of the morning no lunch but we had a nice visit on the the old days when she lived next door only no booze. It was really good to see her and spend some time.
But I did go play poker , and let me tell you , it was a blast. I had such a good time and it was cheap...10 bucks to throw in and good company...can't beat that.
And there were puppies born there tonight...7 of them-border collies.I love Rusty's dogs and border collies are amazing critters.The first thing I did after saying hello was to go out to the dog yard and get reacquainted.
Those puppies are so fucking cute.There are 2 solid black ones that have me written all over them.
You know , it's funny how your life gets so consumed by your job and the day to day bullshit that goes along with that that you forget about other time with friends and making music and laughing and not giving a fuck.
And puppies.
And one more thing...
Deftones...7 words...


Thursday, February 12, 2009


I think I'm funny...what do you think?

I love this's about heritage and tradition and being from the south without all that rebel racist shit.Tom fucking can tell his heart is driving this one.
I tried to do an acapella version of it today but I got hung up on the bridge/ third verse...

There's a southern accent, where I come from
The younguns call it country
The yankees call it dumb
I got my own way of talkin
But everything is done, with a southern accent
Where I come from

Now that drunk tank in atlanta
Just a motel room to me
Think I might go work orlando
If them orange groves dont freeze
I got my own way of workin'
And everything is run, with a southern accent
Where I come from

For just a minute there I was dreaming
For just a minute it was all so real
For just a minute she was standing there, with me

There's a dream I keep having
Where my mama comes to me
And kneels down over by the window
And says a prayer for me
I got my own way of prayin'
And everyone's begun
With a southern accent
Where I come from

I got my own way of livin'
And everything is done
With a southern accent
Where I come from

I just lost it there...I miss my mom , a lot these days.
Go figure.


Barr.Woo Cheng.
to undisclosed-re.
show details 4:01 AM (1 hour ago)

I am Barrister Woo Cheng, i have business transaction in which i want you
to be my partner contact me for further instruction and details

Mr.Woo Cheng

To which I responded...

I am the grand poobah niggler Zambia Nairobi . And do I have a business transaction for you Woo,you fucking zipperhead rinky dinky riceman.It involves you sucking my giant African meat pole.Please contact it for further details you stupid motherfucker.
Mr. Niggler.

I love the internet...

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


That's purely rhetorical...
I spent a lot of time on the phone since the other day and I did an inventory.
I talked to John in Colorado...probably my best friend ever...he makes me laugh-hard.I fucking love that guy.I talked to Special K from Canada...she's my girl.So funny and so incorrect,she rules...I love her too.
I talked to my son several times...we are trying to get together for lunch but he has three kids and a wife and he lives in another town about 45 minutes from here...we are working on it. I can't tell you how much I love him...That boy is the shit.I talked to Joel while he was on the 15th hole of what I'm guessing was Lions...I asked him to kick Andy in the nuts for me.Hopefully he complied.
I talked to my friend Suzanne...she just lives to be hugged.Seriously.Cris needs to see that with clarity.I didn't get to talk with him, but we have known each other for so long I might as well have.I talked to Chuck who is now living in Kansas and let me tell you...there is not a brighter soul on this earth than that motherfucker.
And while there wasn't a phone involved I talked to Annabelle...she is my best friend.She is a part of me.
I've been doing a lot of talking.
I spent the day in the company of Theo and Irene...I talked to them as well.Somebody intervened and gave Theo some cat lives...he was so close to death , but now he is vibrant and alive and grumpy as ever.Irene is part of my genome group...we just have to look at each other.
And there are folks I didn't talk to...yet.
I'm just realizing how lucky I am to have so many people who love me. It's a good feeling.
I'm surrounded by love and I like it.
Boy...was that corny or what?:)

I got tired of recording the ponyride stuff with the very cheap GE headset, and while I have been burning CD's like crazy and writing new material an upgrade was at hand...but considering I got laid off money is an issue.I have some audio technica condenser mics and a tube MP pre-amp made by A.R.T...all I needed was an adapter to plug into my computer to make it work.
I went to Music Makers and they tried to sell me this interface thing that was really cool , and when I have a spare 130 dollars I'm going to buy it...but otherwise they said they couldn't help me and that the shit I had wouldn't work.
Of course I knew better and went to radio shack and got the adapter I knew I needed for 7 dollars .
And shit from old shit...It's so much warmer...test video below.I was just fucking around with it but you can tell a difference.

Checking In
Yeah, it's been a long time since I posted. Work has been crazy busy and really, really bad so I don't want to say anymore on that subject other than it has sunk to previously unimaginable depths of suckiness. Nothing better has come along just yet, but I'm definitely ready to grab it when it does. And I suppose there's always a chance that this current huge crisis will spawn some positive change at the call center from hell. One never knows...

I've learned to cope somewhat with the memory issues. I'm still forgetting things, but these days I forget that I've forgotten so it's not so much of a concern. The doctor has no idea what's going on and I don't even care anymore. Adjust, adapt and move on.

I gotta run for now since I've got a dying hard drive to work on. Well, technically it IS dead since it lost the boot sector along with about half of the drive, but I have ways of rescuing what's left and I should really get on that before the rest of it cascades away.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


Dontcha know god hates?

Monday, February 09, 2009


Since I've been writing more these days the phrasing of this song amazes I feel compelled to share it again...originally posted it was a song aimed at my son back in the days of trials and tribulations.
It still carries weight...and it still brings a tear to my eye...enjoy.

I'm on a furlough for now...I can take a lay off and go to the hall and sign the books and go to work with another contractor if I want or I can wait around and see what comes up with this one.
But there is a wrinkle.
I found out last Friday that someone has been talking shit about me at the shop...nothing specific...just "he's not the same Rob...smells of alcohol in the mornings sometimes ( I mean, come's the construction trade for Christs sake...who DOESN'T smell from time to time. And the funniest thing about that to me is the fact that I am living a somewhat straight and narrow these days as far as that shit is concerned ).
Coming from the social work background I'm used to being direct about concerns like this...but I learned a long time ago that that kind of proactive interaction doesn't fly in the trades.But pisses me off that no one had the balls to ask me what was going on with me in terms of tardiness and missing work.
Plus , the times are tight and everyone is covering their own ass. I can live with that reality.
Had they inquired they would of learned that I have had a number of health issues come up over the last year...beginning with that scary spike in my blood pressure a while back and culminating in my dental issues which have continued to plague me to this day...I am in constant pain...always...that will change anyone's sunny disposition. And instead of inquiring about it , they talk shit and try to get me run off ? Chickenshit stuff.
So the chief suspect of this shit talking is telling me this morning that today is probably going to be my last on this job and i can take a furlough or a lay off and blah blah blah...I really quit listening and was instead thinking "this is probably the motherfucker who is talking shit about me and wouldn't it be fun to just knock his fucking lights out right here right now "?
I played it out in my head as he continued to blow smoke up my ass and then went about the business of the day.I'm miles away from all that therapeutic nonsense , but whatever happened to honesty?
So...I'm gonna go with this furlough , file for unemployment , take Annabelle to work in the morning then go get a paper and have breakfast somewhere and go see one of my friends.
I've been with this contractor since day one...and being a loyalist it kind of makes me sad to be going...but it's a great big world and my buddy Rusty reminded me it's more about the union than the contractors...
Wise words from someone I trust and respect.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

gimme a pull off THAT PIG

A new kitchen friend...chef pig rules...

I wanted to replace these...
With these...The problem being no switch leg...I got around that with a remote system mounted in the ceiling next to the light...
An easy task...
except the receiver is bunk...the lights work fine when wired directly...a switch leg is some simple shit...this is product error...
Cool looking lights though...
I'll deal with the remote thing later.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009


They love me...
I started doing this a while back , but haven't done it in a while...but when I emptied my overalls this evening I was inspired.

Without fanfare or further adieu...
An LED keys...a razor knife... a 59 cent lighter from a haji mart...about 2 dollars in change...some anbesol (mild pain)...some ibuprofen (moderate pain)...some fucking vicodin (major pain)...hey , you have to be prepared.A mini sharpie, a mini pen , a pencil (obscured by flashlight)...assorted screws and wire nuts. A volt tic and a very small multi - screwdriver and a cell phone.
That's a bunch of stuff...even for overalls...and I'm happy to report that I started out the day with 3 vicodin and three ibuprofen and a half tube of vicodin taken - in the immortal words of Sgt. Barnes "Take the pain".

Tuesday, February 03, 2009


But before I get into that...I woke up Monday morning feeling horrible.I went to work but bailed at 9am and came home.And slept...all day and stayed in bed all night with the dogs and the TV.
As I've said before , I'm like an injured dog when I'm sick.I just want to lay in my mud hole alone and unmolested until I recover or die. As much as this perplexed Annabelle in our early years , it has become a comfortable routine...I stay in the cave and Ann checks on me periodically to make sure I'm still breathing ...and growling.
I couldn't figure out what had made me feel so bad , and then tonight as I was looking at the blog it hit me...Greenbelt...billions of particles of cedar pollen and god knows what else flying into my nose and lungs...Bingo.
On to that impending adventure.
It's looking bleak for the whole crew at my current job.There are no projects in the works for this contractor and the books at the hall are crowded with names waiting for work.Things usually pick up in the spring , but with this mess we are spiraling down into who even knows about that?
It's clear that our government has no clue what to do and the beneficiaries of our tax dollars in the form of bailouts are telling us to fuck off when we ask where that money went.Dire I tell you...DIRE. The greed and evil and stupidity of these motherfuckers makes me so angry I want to take up arms. But that's not an option for me. I can't afford to travel to Wall Street.
So the bottom line for me and the rest of the crew is a lay off...which means signing the books and filing for unemployment ( however much longer those funds will last ). I have been offered a furlough ( the only difference being I do not separate from this contractor and sit at home with my fingers crossed ) being the loyal guy I am , I opted for this option in the short term ). I can still file for benefits as well.
But there is a 2 week lag in the arrival of said benefits.
So I will take my furlough , and apply for benefits and my part of the adventure will begin.
I will get up everyday as if I were going to work and begin inventorying the huge stockpile of audio/stereo/studio equipment I have in the den...stored and not used in at least 5 years...there are also boxes and boxes of long forgotten knick knacks and wiggee goos back there.I will place an ad on Craigs list.I will place signs around the neighborhood and I will hold the mother of all yard sales.
This will help hold us over until the benefits kick in ( or my contractor gets work...a scenario I much prefer ). I'm not going to worry about the now "non essential" bills...I will feel bad about this for some of them, but fuck any government related debt...local,state or federal...they helped put us here through their mismanagement of our money so they can suck on it until we get back on our feet.
I will continue to produce and record music and put it out there. I am quite prolific when I'm under emotional stress.( Skill set 3 ).
I will contact people for handyman services ( skill set 1 ).
I will not under any circumstance revert back to skill set 2...I would rather be shitting in a box in the woods and diving in dumpsters for my meals before I would ever re enter the field of mental health. And they probably wouldn't have me anyway.
I was good at what I did , but the rules have changed and my notion of reality when it comes to mental health is very different from what is considered common practice's not so much the theory that has suffered here , but the execution.The system has been hobbled by a PC notion that is misguided and geared toward coddling people who - the last thing they need is coddling.
I believe Cheney made a comment some years ago about Ebay being an option for struggling much more of a fuck you did we need as the middle class (the what???).
I predict a similar fate for a lot of you in the near future...I don't wish it on you to be sure...
But it's coming and you best get ready to punt. I can feel it in my bones.

Sunday, February 01, 2009


I went to Wal-mart this after to get Annabelle a new keyboard as hers took a dirt nap.I got an optical mouse to replace my track ball which dove into retardville the other kept locking up and had a mind of it's own scrolling at will.
I got some more lightscribe CD-R's and some jewel cases for my follow up to the first PonyRide CD...I fucking love these things...any image you want , it's so cool to be able to customize the discs.
But the best thing was I found a pair of Dickies duck pants in needed some new work pants and there you go.
They are cool is that?
I played my guitars so much today that the hurt in my fingers turned to callous...I am on a roll...I broke them all out.
I need some strings.While I like them good and worn in , corrosion is not conducive to tuning...
Songs seem to be pouring out of me of late and I'm really digging the vibe (oh shit...I just dated myself :P ).
Seriously-I'm enjoying playing again and being creative.New stuff rolling in.
I wish I could make a living playing music , I would be all over that.

Irene and I took advantage of the beautiful weather and went for a hike this morning.
She loves Gus Fruh...

Afterward I went to El Borrego de oro (the golden lamb) for breakfast tacos - which I'd heard recently were the best in the area...I heard right...
Plus the door art fucking rules.
And there is a vestige of the past when Borrego was a chinese restaurant.Concrete Buddha hiding in the bushes...