Sometimes Life Sucks
There are times when my normal optimistic, go with the flow, roll with the punches, everything works out for the best attitude just crumbles like a pile of mud bricks exposed to the rain. The work situation continues to deteriorate and I did not get the weekend off from it since there was a work-related event yesterday and a going away party today that I had to attend. Logically I know the despair I'm feeling is silly in the grand scheme of things, but that logical part of me can't convince the emotional side that none of this is worth shedding all these tears I've been crying. I hope this is nothing more than the rare case of PMS and it will go away in a couple of days. In the meantime, I'm feeling like a heartbroken teenager with no friends again and I figure the only cure for this is to drag out the music. Some people have music in their bones, but I think with me it extends to the cellular level. The quickest way for me to achieve an attitude adjustment is to put on some appropriate music. I don't know if it was the early exposure to music as a child or because I started piano lesson at age five or if it's just in my genes, but music pervades my every moment, waking or dreaming. All my dreams have a soundtrack. All my days have a soundtrack. There is music playing in my head all the time and occasionally there's three or more songs at once on different "frequencies". Three or four tracks at once don't bother my brain because apparently the mind can handle what the ears can not, but unfortunately the daytime soundtrack appears to be a gigantic database of all the music I've ever heard over the last 43 years on shuffle mode with no attention paid to the current circumstances. Then again, maybe there's a reason that "Tell Laura I Love Her" is running through my head and I'm just too stupid to pick up on it (note: I was born after this song was popular, blame my older brothers for the reason it's in the brain database.) Anyway, I can stop the automatic in-my-head soundtrack by listening to music in the "real world" and temporarily occupy myself with songs that fit my emotional needs at the time. Tonight I need songs that say to me something along the lines of "life sucks at times, but hang in there and things will get better." but I'm missing some of my old standbys from earlier days that I don't have. Ah well, there's plenty of newer stuff that should suffice and hopefully I will wake up in the morning with a better outlook.