YOU WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL HERE?!

I went out to my high school to get my transcript today and I think... no, I know that I freaked them the fuck out.
Around 1975 the elite overran the hippies/river rats and my high school became the bastion of shameless excess that it remains today. The football stadium rivals most universities in scope and majesty (football is very important at texas high schools but- come on!)
Anyway, I walk into the administrative offices and up to the counter. The soccer mom working the counter was wrapping up a transaction with someone else and when she finished she turned to me with the same smile and perky demeanor she had with the other guy. As soon as she took me in, her face paled and fell into the look of someone who had happened upon the face of satan. I could see her physically pulling herself together as she said "do I have to help...I mean, can I help you"? It was entirely too amusing.
I requested my transcript.
She questioned my request with the kind of shock that cannot be described. ( I may as well have said "Hi there! I have just killed everyone on the second floor, please call 911 and then it's your turn").
I turned on the politeness/articulate part of my brain and won her over.
I was able to learn that the woman I had spoken to yesterday had gone home with a migraine
and none of the other 4 people working knew how to operate the micro-fisch machine, I would not be getting my transcript today.
They seemed amazed that I would want a 27 year old document in the first place.
Hell, they seemed amazed that the school was here 27 years ago.I assured them it was and that the "established 1970" emblazoned on the main building was accurate.
I'll get my stuff tomorrow.