Sunday, July 22, 2007

WHAT COULD I DO WITH A LIGHTER ON A AIRPLANE (OR:HEY MAN...GOTTA LIGHT?)

The department of "homeland security" recently decided to allow lighters on planes,easing restrictions in a mega-retard way,thinking that lighters represent a small threat to passengers.Well,I'm no terrorist,but even I can think of several ways I could cause pandemonium with a lighter.I'm sure Al Queda has a hard on right now.

I could light the upholstery on fire (fire retardant doesn't mean fireproof) and asphyxiate you with toxic fumes.You fucking infidels.

I could turn a fire extinguisher into an IED that would blow the side out of a plane. sucking out you fucking infidels.

I could turn it up to high and burn the eyeballs out of the pilot and copilot causing the plane to crash,killing you fucking infidels.

I could light my farts...which wouldn't kill anyone directly,but while you fucking infidels are laughing at my folly I could cut your throats with the box cutter they recently deregulated,take over the plane and crash it into the alamo while you all wonder where the smell of curry came from,especially since your in flight meal was chicken cordon bleu.

I could burn through essential electrical systems involving navigation,landing and communications.

I could go on and on,but suffice to say,this is a BAD decision,and some flight,somewhere, will undoubtedly pay for it.
We are our own worse enemy.
Jeez...

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