IT'S A NEW REALITY TV SHOW...

PIOUS AMERICAS GREATEST ICON!!!
(cue inspirational music and shot of studio audience swaying in a evangelical stupor)
Pan to judges panel...Tom DeLay (wild applause),Shakira (confused applause),Pat Robertson (wild applause)and Th'Rev (revulsed,stunned silence)
Pan to audience(summer teeth and low eyebrows).
The rules: Examine the body of work of each contestant and deem them pious or shit.If deemed shit,they are sent to that market in Iraq without benefit of guards and armor and choppers...they get dumped with some nylons and a bag of skittles.
Two at a time...
Break to music..."Proud to be an american",pan contestants and audience break to commercial...oh,how about the new Hallmark one schleping the "sorry about your traumatic amputation" series of patriotic sympathy cards,or perhaps the "at least you're not gay" cards from the congratulatory line.
Tonights episode...

1. John MacArthur
2. Chuck Swindoll
3. Ravi Zacharias
4. Charles Stanley
5. Chuck Missler
6. Lambert Dolphin
7. Dave Hunt
8. Hal Lindsey
9. James Dobson...Leader of Focus on the Family...(cue IED sound effect) Sent to Iraq.
10. Herb Peters
11. Greg Laurie
12. Erwin Lutzer
13. Jack Hayford
14. Ken Ham
15. Alistair Begg
16. D. James Kennedy
17. Chuck Colson
18. Josh McDowell
19. Dennis Prager...Jew?Christian?Jew?...hates gays,habitually blends church and state and jews...(cue klezmer band soundtrack) sent to Iraq...substitute nylons with a bedsheet with a hole in the center.
We have a bonus round!
20. Michael Medved...Film critic,pundit,full of it.Given deal or no deal option,drew one way trip to Afghanistan with 50 bucks and no passport...see ya medved!Keep an eye out for Micheal Savage (He's got the nylons and the candy).
Cue theme music and cut to commercial...
Stay tuned for the next episode of "PIOUS AMERICAS GREATEST ICON!!!"
(Start opening of the 700 club...split screen)