IN THE BLACKEST OF ROOMS

I remember when my mom was dying,sitting in the corner of the hospital room,my copy of Jurassic park in my lap,I fell asleep to Debbie admonishing my mother to "go to the light" "Go Maureen...."! "Go to the light"! The light of what exactly?
The bright burning light of the realization that you are dead? And what's so bright about that? You are dead...you will NEVER do anything again that means a goddamned thing. Because you are DEAD,like that Monty Python parrot,you have ceased to exist.
You are an ex parrot...far removed from
the land of the living.
And that's sad...you've lost a loved one...you miss them...but remember this,a parable (probably best remembered from a TV show about gorilla heads )that defines the spirit of loss.
"For every one returned to the ground,there is one left standing" or something like that.
Annabelle still has her mom and dad,I do not.And I struggle with what hurts more...the loss,or the impending dark.