Monday, July 26, 2004

TALK ABOUT THE OLD SWITCHEROO

Before the remodel, our house was a mess inside, but the outside was kept mostly in check by those wandering crackheads with lawnmowers that populate our neighborhood like landscaping panhandlers.
Since the remodel, our house has achieved a stateliness and cleanliness not seen since before Ann moved in and trashed it (just kidding honey :) ).
If you recall the pictures from a week or so ago, our yard has turned into the staging ground for the battle in the Idrang Valley, Viet Nam, Republic of...now that was a hill.
I was unable to rally my ground forces (lawn mower...fucking coward) to defeat the mulberry menace, so I resorted to indigenous forces (lopper) that was never fired and only dropped once.
So...I resorted to the tried and true airborne chemical assault.
Brush-B-Gone by our friends at Ortho and the high tech "hook that bitch up to the hose...filler-up and go to town" water delivery system.
The neighbors witnessed me defoliating the victory garden this evening.
I have adopted a scorched earth policy regarding the mulberry menace, also referred to as Nathaniel Victor and, if you meet him twice and survive... Mister Nathaniel Victor.
If this doesn't work it's fucking carpet bombing or napalm, I swear.

**Identify the statements in italics from it's original reference and win a prize...a really bitching mix CD of really bitching music with a custom cover designed by me**.

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