Friday, April 23, 2004

A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY HOME FROM THE GROCERY

But, before that happened, work happened. Work was OK. The morning started out a bit tense as I had to shoo the GM off my computer as soon as I walked in. My work station is no longer the "town whore", I am reclaiming it. This is one of many "action steps " I came up with to regain my stride. I think it's working.
Anyway, the GM went home for lunch, and when he returned he presented me with the long promised and awaited Slayer CD of punk covers "Undisputed Attitude".
The crucible for the funny thing.
On my way to the grocery I was listening to it again and was inspired to call the GM to thank him, it was a much needed boost. He said he had gone home with it in mind to find and burn me a copy. Cool.
I had to stop at a local quick stop on the way home to get butane to refill my new ghetto lighter. (it has a really bitchin' 3-D jumpy dice with flames on it that have blinking multicolored lights that light up when you open it. It burns like a mini torch.All this for 6.99!) The grocery apparently doesn't do ghetto lighter fuel anymore.
This quick stop is across the street from a section 8 complex (poor people, gangsters and crackheads) and the denizens of this complex patronize the store.
There were a couple of those denizens in the store and they left ahead of me and were "conferring" by the pay phones when I came out with their backs to me. Until I got in my truck and the CD player started. LOUD. It was Slayer, it was fast and aggressive, and the singer sang as plain as day: "GUILTY!OF BEING WHITE"!!!Over and over...then something about being convicted of a "RACIST CRIME"...then something about being "GUILTY OF BEING RIGHT"!!!!
Suddenly, I had their undivided attention.
The way they looked at me made me acutely aware of how most black people probably see me: "Hey look, it's a Ku Klux Klan- Aryan- Skinhead- Motherfucker".
I just smiled and got the fuck out of there as fast as I could.
And then I had to laugh... I just had to.
Back in the day, when I was manager of the emergency youth shelter, I used to get that shit a lot from the (predominantly) ethnic kids who stayed there. I would respond by saying something witty like "yeah, I'm in the klan, and I'm under deep cover- to learn more about you and your KIND" or "Yeah, but I got demoted for being too open minded and my punishment is to work around YOU PEOPLE until I learn to hate properly again". It was effective. But not as effective as the bitching food I would cook for them (the usual breakfast,for 16 to 22 kids was: 2 kinds of eggs, bacon, sausage,hashbrowns, biscuits & gravy, toast, fruit, grits, pancakes ), serenading them with lounge versions of the hiphop classics of the day like Cypress Hill's "Insane in the membrane"...after that I was just Rob, and they had my back.
I was reminded of that old adage "you can't judge a book by it's cover" recently from our friend in the GWN...Special K. So true. Why do we so often???
File this under: Funny...Peculiar.
See ya monday, unless something happens post-worthy.:)

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