Monday, October 27, 2008


That's the title of a song I wrote a long time ago.It was a good one as I recall.Mostly about the drag rats I was working with at the time,but there was a sub text about lurking things in the shadows...intentional or not,it was there.And while it added the creepy I like when I write a song,for some reason it's on my mind.
I'm having a very difficult time today...I was in the shower this morning and just decided that I couldn't go in to sinuses were fucked up like they usually are,but normally I would suck it up and go on in.But it just occurred to me as I was rinsing the aloe vera all organic shampoo out of my hair that I bought at the HEB for rich stuck up types yesterday (I also bought organic deodorant and -gasp-patchouli oil!so now I smell like the filthy hippy I was in the 70's-ha!)that I was emotionally wrecked.Not in a bad way,just overwhelmed in that crybaby sort of way...and that just won't fly at a construction site-"Hey-check out that big tattooed guy-is he crying"??? See what I mean?
Yesterday I went way back in the woods,and while it was really cool to see Carolyn and spend time together I must have bumped into one or more of those things lurking in the shadows.
I hit rewind and looked at my life over the last 30 odd years.I have Annabelle-my best friend...I have my son and my daughter in law and the grand kids.I have Irene and Theo...I have so much to be thankful for,I have a good life,as hard as it is sometimes.But these days it's hard for all of us so I'm not special in that regard but I am also not alone and I take some solace in that.
I miss my mom and dad-I miss mark.
But I'm pushing my way through the brambles and tree breaks of my tangled up history and tomorrow will be better.
I'm gonna go play my guitar now...I think there's a song in me.

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