NOW THIS IS BIG

Imagine the most mind blowing thing you ever heard from your kid, and then imagine it laid in your lap along the lines of "dinners ready" or " can I borrow the car?". But wait! Let's first review (my very biased list) of mind blowing revelations you're kid could lay on you:
1. I've joined the army and I'm going to Iraq to be killed or maimed.
2. I'm gay and I'm going to New Orleans to join a transsexual dance review that's run by my new lover blackie McFatdick...Dad, meet Blackie.
3. I'm a Bush republican and I've informed homeland security about you.
4. We're going to have a baby.
My son hasn't joined the army, he's not gay, he doesn't dance or have a lover named Blackie McFatdick. He's not moving to New Orleans. He would rather die than support bunnypants...so that leaves #4.
That's right...I'm gonna be a grandpa.
They came over to celebrate his 20th birthday today, a landmark in and of itself, for me anyway. And this news was the added bonus. And by bonus I mean freak out.
I think I covered my freak out pretty well...they didn't notice my jaw crash through the floor or my eyes exploding for example.
Truth be told, I am unhappy about this news for one reason, I'm gonna be a grandpa.
There is no doubt in my mind that they will be excellent parents, Kyle has always had a way and an affinity with kids, he loves them for the most part. Brandy has this kind of earth mother aura around her that eases my mind, the more I get to know her, the more I like her...she's good people. I'm sure they'll do just fine.
But...I'm gonna be a grandpa. I was just starting to come to terms with being 45 for cryin' out loud, and now this. And by this I mean my own denial about age and growing older and all the stuff that comes along with it like back injuries that kick your ass, and arthritic bone spurs you didn't know you have, and the failing eyesight....and being a grandpa. This is mine to deal with, and I will.
On the other hand, I remember when Kyle's mom was pregnant...watching her grow, the magic of it all. And the absolute awe of having a child, I remember it like it was yesterday. It was the most amazing time of my life, and when I think about it those terms, the next 9 months for Kyle and Brandy could be the most rewarding ever. And I get to relive it again, through them.
I wish I wasn't in a protracted midlife crisis, but I am. This brings new meaning to the world conflicted, and it's interfering with my joy, damn it.
Grandpa...wow...damn...