Monday, January 17, 2005

FINALLY GOT THAT BLOODWORK DONE

I went to my regular doctor today, to get that fasting bloodwork done that I've been blowing off. In the process, I discovered that i have gained some weight, not much, 3 pounds, but still...I was reminded that the diet of an electrician sucks...fas' foo', eaten in a hurry in the truck is not a diet for me. Gotta do something about this but not sure what, my options are limited, and considering the time limits and the dietary habits of my co worker, it seems my options are: bring healthy shit and get fucked with or stop eating altogether between 7:30 and 4...the advantage to maintaining a liquid diet during the day means I will be skinnier sooner, or do I want to eat a boring ass salad with dry tuna out of tupperware in the cab of a truck with a redneck? I'll let you know.
Anyway, back to the bloodwork. This test is to determine whether I need a cholesterol lowering medication to further reduce what I like to call " The heartattackability factor" and to determine whether my blood sugar is in the hands of satan (seen on TV as diabetes shill mary tyler moore...seriously...look at her eyes...I bet she has teeth in places most women don't, literally anyway).
Seriously...I totally respect the work she has done in regard to juvenile diabetes and diabetes in general, but she creeps me out...she's the female equivalent to Dick Clark...how old is she anyway? And, oh, by the way...Clark is still waiting for his portrait in the attic to get it's shit together.
Back to the bloodwork...I'm hoping for the best, but I fear that all the strides I made to a healthier happier me have been undone by the last 8 months of my descent into redneck...I mean electrician. We'll see. God, getting old sucks, but as a friend of mine told me tonight "get used to it...better living through chemistry". I'm hoping not. I'm not a big fan of chemistry, not for a long time.
But enough about me.
Here's a funny...

I swear...this is doggy crack...I mean just look at the dog on the label. He's screaming "c'mon man, I'll suck yer DICK!" ( what movie is that from?). Our dogs are hooked and we gave them the first box free. Talk about your kebob leg hoppy-hoppy...it's canine pathetic. These are the most amazing treats...our dogs get confused, they think all they have to do is walk up to the door and seemingly without will, turn toward the pantry, where snoop anny ann keeps the doggy crack...she's down with the dog pound...beeotch! Gimme yer paw! NOW! Or I'll be puttin' you in check dog...you gotta PEE first.
It's amazing the hold these things have on our dogs.
But now I'm ramblin'....G'night John Boy :)

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