12 HOURS AND 50 MINUTES OF FREEDOM LEFT...HERE'S A BEER STEALING STORY.

I report back to work tomorrow, after being off since the 23rd of december. And while part of me enjoyed being on vacation, I am ready to get back to the everyday grind of being an electrician in training.
New years eve was a bit strange, I made an early dinner and Ann went to bed at 8ish and I was not far behind. No parties ( we have thrown some legendary barn burners here at clubspit, let me tell you). No drunken debauchery...well, no debauchery anyway, the screwdrivers have been flowing however.
My 19 soon to be 20 son called to wish a happy happy and to ask if I could find it in my heart to buy them (them being Kyle, Brandy and some of their friends) some beer. I said no. In the event things went out of control and law enforcement showed and they found out I had bought the beer, in these times I would warrant at least a mention on court TV complete with a picture of my lynched and tarred and feathered body hanging from an oak tree in front of the promiseland church over there on 51st.. Or is that world of pentecost? I don't know...they all scare me. Plus, I have never bought booze for minors, except when I was a minor myself (equipped with facial hair that led to the illusion that I was indeed 18). That's right, I am so old I remember the drinking age being 18. When that didn't work, I would get creative (insert "WAHOOOOO!") but I never asked an adult to buy me beer. I would'nt want my son to WAHOOOOO! beer either, but if he did, I hope he got away with it. I did'nt...both times I tried it.

WAHOOOOO! #1:
TIME: 1976
PLACE: Safeway on airport and 51st. (long gone)
FACTS IN THE CASE: I bolted out of the store with a friend, between us we were carrying 2 cases of beer. We were followed by 2 plainclothed security guards, I went straight across the lot, my friend cut left. I looked over my shoulder and saw this guy flying through the air like a superhero with a maniacal look on his face...he tackled me and the beers went flying across the parking lot. As we skidded to a halt, him surfing on my chest, me skidding across the lot on my back, we were engulfed in a cloud of goose down as my down jacket exploded from the impact and the friction. I wish I had this on film.
THE DAMAGE: That case of beer ended up costing me $110.00 and 6 months of preferred adjudication.
STUPIDITY FACTOR: 10 out of a possible 10...I had cash and a checkbook. They caught my friend creeping up a creekbed behind my house with his half...he tried to deny it! God, we were such dorks.

WAHOOOOO! # 2
TIME: 1978
PLACE: Quikie mart just east of 183 on webberville road.
FACTS IN THE CASE: Me and a buddy got away clean with a case...During the getaway, I lost control of my car on wet roads and rolled it over several times, ejecting my friend, who, save for a bruised shoulder was otherwise unhurt. I stayed with the car and lost 13 teeth, broke my jaw, lacerated my entire body and fucked up my back. Plus, I totalled my car.
SAVING GRACE: My friend was able to get rid of the beer, saving me a DWI charge. He found his glasses on the side of the road, intact. Hard to believe considering he was ejected at high speed from a Fiat doing corner to corner rolls.
THE DAMAGE: 3 days in the hospital, multiple surgeries on my mouth and face, loss of car.
STUPIDITY FACTOR: Off any accepted scale of stupidity.

The memories just keep coming and with each and every one all I have to say is...I'm lucky to be here and I'm glad 1978 was the year I learned to just chill.
see ya!