CATHARSIS...A WONDERFUL THING?
I got my right leg outlined last friday...almost 3 hours...ouch.What's cool about leg tattoos is you can watch the process.You can witness the transformation of plain old skin to work of art.It was cool, but it hurt like hell...especially behind the knee.But it's there...a giant squid writhing on the waves just below my knee descending down to a sea floor replete with coral,starfish,urchins and anenomes at my ankle.Color to go in in a month or so...Catharsis.
One of my oldest,dearest friends called the other night...his little brother was dead...his LITTLE brother...I drove to the city of West,Tx. for the funeral...funeral home,cemetary and church where on a 4 or so mile line on the same road...county road 1858...1-2-3...an amazing economy of death,burial and "food and fellowship" at the Tokio baptist church. It was good to see my friend and other people I had'nt seen in at least 10 years...not the greatest of circumstances. But it was good to see them and connect, I should qualify that he is probably my dearest old friend and despite the circumstance it was good to connect with my roots...hugging him and spending time with "food and fellowship" reminded me of how important he was,how important old friendships are.I don't see him often but he is an important part of my life, a connection to what was and what will be. I was not close to his brother but I knew him and I knew how much he meant to my friend...I had to be there...for them both.And I was...and proud to be there as a living vestige of time and the meaning of friendship...Cathartic.
In a way.
The route to West was the same route I took with my Mom to Temple, Texas , home of the veterans administration's nursing care unit where my father went after his stroke in 1990...2 or 3 times a week I drove my mom to see him...a vegetable really...he knew who we were but could not communicate beyond a smile and the look in his eyes.
Everytime I drove there I died a little bit, and when my mom died in '92 and my dad fell deeper into zuchinniville, I slacked to once or twice a month.
When he died in '99, I was resolute in not ever going down that road again...but I did,for my friend.The drive was a trip down memory lane...as I drove along I remembered things...conversations with my mom...Cathartic...in a way.
And I tried to put it together in my mind with the fact that we are all growing older and with that age we come closer to the end...to closure.
And when it's all said and done will we have done all the things we aspired to do?Will our lives have had meaning? Will our choices in life fulfill our possibilities? Will it be Cathartic?
Somehow I don't think so.