Sunday, February 10, 2008

Six Quirks

1. I have weird hair. It's naturally curly, but that's not what makes it weird. It has a very odd texture according to every hair stylist that has ever tried to work with it. You can blow dry it, mousse it, gel it, hot iron it - try anything you want and two hours later it will look exactly like it did before you started. Chemical straighteners won't even do the trick. I also shed like a dog and could never pursue a life of crime unless I shaved my head because I leave strands of hair everywhere I go. I've even considered getting DNA testing to see if this hair is more common than hair stylists think or a just weird mutation that only I possess.

2. Shirts on hangers. Rob has his money quirk, I have a shirt quirk. All shirts in the closet must be hung on hangers with the fronts facing the same direction. It doesn't matter if it's left or right, but they all need to be the same and if there is one or five or ten out of sync then I will stop what I'm doing and change them to match the others, even if it means being late for work.

3. I hate shoes. I wear them only because I have to wear shoes to work and these days, you also have to wear them to get into any stores (which was not the case here in Austin until about the 1990's.) I wear sandals unless the temps are not going to get above 45 degrees that day and even then I will sometimes still wear sandals. I always take my shoes off the moment I get home and the trick to getting me to stay longer visiting at your place is to let me take my shoes off there as well.

4. Pop culture. I know very little about pop culture. I will not know which actor you are talking about, or what happened in that movie. I will probably not have heard of your favorite TV show, including the ones you watched as a kid. I have no idea who is the latest hot band that's storming the charts. I haven't read that bestselling book and know nothing of what's going on in the world of sports. I don't know who's hip or famous in this town even though I've lived here all my life. I will always lose at Trivial Pursuit.

5. I don't mind being alone, but it rarely happens for long. Unless I'm at home behind closed doors or in a very remote camping spot, it's inevitable that someone will come up and talk to me. I can't seem to go anywhere alone without a complete stranger engaging me in conversation. Grocery store, gas station, dining solo at a restaurant or getting takeout from McDonalds, even standing on the sidewalk waiting for a taxi... it's weird.

6. Drugs have odd effects. Speed makes me go to sleep, Valium makes me crabby and rather than passing out after drinking large quantities of beer I am up all night instead. I've never tried Ecstasy, but it would probably make me hate sex.

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