AND SO IT GOES

I've been behaving myself.And the usual things have been happening.The most significant thing is sleep disturbance-I have these vivid frightening dreams that wake me up every hour or so.One that I haven't had in years involves an intruder coming into our bedroom in the middle of the night,
And as soon as the intruder crosses the threshold I wake up in a start.
But this one freaked me the fuck out:A large group of people come into our house and sit around the living room,they are all wearing the same clothing,a blue shirt with white screen printing on it.At first it seems like a cleaning crew or something,maybe landscapers.But it soon turns into a pitch for some organization...they want money.The main speaker has the pasty visage and glasses of Steve Forbes,and a younger,angry looking guy keeps asking me if I want to "see what he did to me"?It quickly escalates with me demanding that they leave,they won't and one thing leads to another and I whip out a shotgun and rack it exclaiming "get the fuck out of my house-NOW"!
The younger guy gets really agitated and continues-yelling-about showing me something.He produces a pistol and points it at my face,a struggle ensues and I am wrestling with his pistol,trying to push it out of the way while at the same time trying to put the barrel of my shotgun under his chin.I finally push his gun arm out of my face and press my shotgun under his chin.I look at his gun arm,and it's pointed directly at Ann's head.Everybody else is just sitting there with these blank faces-then I wake up.
I shared this dream with a coworker at lunch today and he said he thought dreams sometimes were a representation of something going to happen or something that already had.Then he said,"Maybe you're watching too many movies".And smiled,knowing the kind of movies I like to watch.
About 5 minutes later a large group of nondescript people came in and sat behind us...in blue shirts with white screen printing.Freaky!There was no gun play.
Despite the sleep disturbance,I was more refreshed this morning,clear headed and had more energy.Usually I move at about 75% in the morning hitting my usual stride after morning break.
So-crazy dreams at night,more productive days.This sleep stuff takes a month or so of behaving myself to work itself out,a fair trade off I think,for feeling better during the early part of the day.
As for the rest of it,my background gives me knowledge of "addiction" that is maddening.I know enough to effectively fool myself into some conclusions that perpetuate the problem.Head games,essentially,with myself.But even I can see plainly the behavioral changes that have been occurring ,inward and outward,that indicate a need to change.Plus,my buddy in Colorado has a bluntness about him that I have always found refreshing,plus we have the shared history (oftentimes together) of being snot slinging drunk.It's not like my close friends here haven't been showing concern,they just haven't been hitting me over the head with it.And that's not an invitation...merely an observation.
Anyway...blah-blah-blah (FDOTP!).
Until...