THE CURSE OF SHUFFLE MODE

We have this CD player...it holds 50 discs, and being the lazy fuck that I am, rather than put the ever growing pile of CD's away, I just loaded them up in the player. It makes for some strange transitions...for example, Ice T covering Black Flags police story followed by Dylans I want you followed by big hands by Crass, followed by REM's shiney happy people.
And it seems that with every 12 or so songs, there's a REM song. Now don't get me wrong...I like REM, a lot actually. But it reminds me of my ex girlfriend,and everytime the REM rolls around on the shuffle, I am struck with an image of her crying with snot running down her nose to the tune of REM's belong...I can't shake it off no matter how I try.
I loved this woman until I came to hate her, and she me, but I can't shake the image of her in back shattering tears over an REM song while her dad was dying of cancer, tears and snot rolling off her face in an unending stream of empathy for her dad. She was a 1000 miles away trying to deal with this shit, and I was a 1000 miles away in regard to knowing how to act...and as much as I like REM, the memory of her pain and my inability to react to it is forever connected to the band.Everytime I hear belong I get this image of her rocking retard like on the corner of the couch, and I hit the skip button, probably more for me than anything else. I'm no friend of pain.
Same goes for Midnight Oil . And the Cult.(also in the shuffle)
I wish I didn't think about Debbie, or rather remember her...but I guess that's the way it is, when I hear certain music.
And then it shuffles to white trash mother fucker by Jesus Christ Superfly and the world is right again, for 2 and a 1/2 minutes.
Come to think of it, life is a lot like shuffle mode if you think about it, one minute you're a white trash motherfucker, the next you're a disaffected mod from the who's version of reality.
And then, before you know it, you're way back to the bone...and coming home, courtesy of Trapeze.
Enough already...