Friday, June 10, 2005

Allergies and stuff
Allergies have been kicking my ass this week. Naturally they would kick up on a week that I was scheduled for 10 hour days. And it was a week that turned out to be pretty damn busy at work as well. Double whammy. I've been dragging around, getting nothing done and realized today that I hadn't checked my personal email in an entire week. I don't think that's ever happened before. There might be something of interest or importance in there amidst all the spam (though gmail does a pretty good job of filtering it), but I haven't the energy to deal with it right now. Nope, I'm focused on doing a blog post about nothing because I get really frustrated when I go back to see what was happening a year or so ago and I find that I posted NOTHING, not even some boring stuff about doing laundry or cleaning out the cat box (not that we've had a cat box to clean in the last 10 years or so.) So, on with the blather.

I finished off my work week today (woohoo - entire weekend off!) with a particularly gnarly day consisting of way too many hour long calls which will drive my call stats for the month into the ground. Normally L1s like me transfer calls to L2s after 15 minutes, but I whined about this a bit because it means I never get to learn much. As a result of my whining, I'm frequently left to flounder about and figure it out which as far as I'm concerned, is a good thing except that it trashes my call statistics. Although I've recently learned that my average call time is one to two minutes below some techs that I consider to be much better at this stuff than I am so I must not be doing too bad at things. However, I got a QA observation review today that was only a 90 which is not good so I guess it's still a mixed bag as far as my performance goes. I know I put way too much effort and concern into a job that pays squat and will go nowhere, but I can't help myself. It's how I operate and I can't seem to change. The realization that hard work and effort doesn't always pay off was a hard thing to swallow and I guess I haven't quite accepted it as fact because here I am busting my ass... for what? It is just the knowledge when I go to sleep at night that I've given it my best? Is that really worth anything?

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