I HAVE EXPERIENCED THE WORLD OF DICK IDOL AND I'VE HAD ENOUGH THANK YOU VERY MUCH

You can be sure of variety in my job, one day subjected to all manner of creepy crawlies, the next dodging the lead paint and asbestos, having to call the abatement people to drill a hole so you can run pipe. The difference between us and abatement? A mini-vac. But today I was introduced to the wilderness world of decor by that maven of plastic injection molded antler chandeliers...Dick Idol...I mean, just look at the guy...you KNOW that if you want 6 plastic injection molded antler chandeliers, this is the guy you want to buy them from. At 1600.00 a pop. Here's a thumbnail of said chandelier...unfortunately, they have been, uh, discontinued I guess, so a larger version of this grocery store plastic sword toy for 1.99 excuse for a hunters lodge light, complete with power gems so you can see how incredibly cheesy they are is not available...poor you...but I think you get the point.
If I was gonna have an antler chandelier, it would be made of real antlers. I mean, if your gonna advertise what a killing machine you are to have one (much less 6), they had better be real, just to rub it in that you spent years hunting down deer with matching antlers and then killing them all for the benefit of your trophy room.
So...the guy in charge of this project has been marching various and sundry "important" people through the project, approving chain link length with his tape measure that he obviously got at the sharper image ( I think it has a digital camera built in, or maybe a CD player) "94 inches, yes...I think that will work", but with the feedback from one of the big wigs, we move the fixture up in link increments 3 times before they are satisfied. Fine, we got it. Now leave. But he kept coming back with various and different in that same sort of way big wigs. He was showing off. He was showing off these unbelievably cheesy lights, and they were all patting themselves on the back about how much more subtle they were as opposed to the original lighting, how the color matched the walls...please, fecal brown is fecal brown. One big wig even opined that they would have to tell visitors to the room that they were FAKE antlers. I almost fell off the ladder and suppressed the desire to opine "No you won't, because these are the cheesiest plastic injection molded antler chandeliers I have ever seen, and any self respecting killer of deer will spot the ruse in an instant...kinda like a fake rolex. I want my deer antler chandelier to still be sporting the fatty tissue left from cutting them off of the head of the living thing you shot to make a fucking lamp". But I didn't.
I finished hooking it up and moved on to the next one...because that's my job.
Plastic deer antlers...jeez.
Better than anthrax I guess.