TITS ON A BOAR HOG
As in "as useful as". And no, I'm not referring to Janet Jackson's premiere during the super bowl...if I was I would of said something like "ummmm...chocolate".However,in reference to justin timberlake , this statement would fit perfectly.
I did not watch the SB,I do not like football,I'm a baseball kind of guy and don't even follow that anymore.My favorite sport is war movies.
I am referring to people who serve no definable purpose, in life or in the workplace. Currently we have no one who warrants the statement working with us...but we have in the past. It is a long list,and I won't subject you to the length of it.
What I really want to do is elaborate on the company's phones and the ringtone options...which are as useful as tits on a boar hog...a phone should ring like a phone should ring...I mean "b'ring-b'ring" ringing.
The work day is punctuated by distinctive rings...my phone chirps like a cricket,another phone cackles like a chicken,yet another plays a horrible MIDI equivalent to flight of the Valkyrie...a car horn in traffic...ode to joy...coke addled seedy disco...tech-NO!...dueling banjos replete with mooing cows and pig squeals.Oh,I can't forget the william tell overture,also in rip out your eyes midi format.
You can even assign different rings for different people,when my boss calls me I hear flight of the Valkyrie...a perverse homage to apocalypse now/impending doom.
Initially this was amusing...now it's just fucking annoying,like I said: a phone should ring.
If I could customize a ringtone,it would say asshat over and over,gradually getting louder and louder,just because I think asshat is the funniest word-ever.
Thank you Jane(@social reject),for turning me and my friends on to the joy that is asshat,it is hands down the most used adjective at work these days:)
In closing, a total leap of subject(?) betraying my "adult" ADD (more on this later,unless I get distracted):
What happened to the "joementum" ? hahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa! See ya!
talk about tits on a boar hog....