MONDAY ON A TUESDAY
As I was driving into work this morning,or,as I prefer to call it my morning game of dodge car,my phone rang.Well,"rang" doesn't really describe it,it makes noises like crickets even though it's called cicada...if it really sounded like cicadas it would be awesome,but as it is it is less than annoying than the other ringtone choices for this particular phone...but more about that later.
It was our (currently ill) general manager informing me in that froggy sick voice that he would be in, but later in the morning around 10. He sounded like shit,but ok man,see you at 10.
At 9:30 he called to say that his left ear had "shut down" and he wouldn't be coming after all...no biggie,it was cold and dreary to austin standards,and it would be slow.
Wrong...horribly general george custer wrong.It was a fucking madhouse all-day-long.
The office phone and my mobile rang constantly... many of my coworkers are either afraid of the phone,are above the phone or have a particular form of autism that filters out the phone.So the bulk of the calls fall on myself and two other brave souls who aren't afraid to deal with customers.
People were in and out of the store in an endless stream...customers,sales reps,office reps...our technicians and support staff, and they all wanted to talk to me.My coffee got cold,my breakfast taco got cold,every time I tried to steal away for a quick smoke,the phone would ring or somebody else would pull up in the parking lot. Here's a sample event:
ME: Can I help you? (phone ringing off the wall)
CUSTOMER: We need light feekstures.(still ringing)
ME: Bulbs or complete fixtures?(STILL ringing,multiple lines ringing in)
CUSTOMER : feekstures.(PA announcing I have a call on line one, two technicians approach the counter,stand next to the customer and stare at me like my dogs do when they want a treat)
ME: What kind of fixtures are they?(PA annoucing I have a call on line two,line one is still holding,the technicians are shifting impatiently on their feet and my cell phone starts chirping at me)
CUSTOMER: Silence ( adopting the deer in the headlights stare)-(phone is still ringing, I take line one and my cell is now announcing a voicemail AND starts chirping at me again...one technician realizes he is not the center of the universe and retreats,the other is holding fast and probably calculating the time left before I start shooting)
ME:(step out from behind the counter to play fixture show and tell with my now mute confused looking customer,figure out what they need.remaining tech is following me around the showroom ,I ignore him) How long of a cord do you need?
CUSTOMER: -unintelligible-feet.
ME: How many feet? (repeat three or four times until I write down the possibilities on a piece of paper and make him point...think to myself "learn english!" immediately followed by "time to bust out the spanish CD's again" vague feelings of guilt wash over me...Phone is STILL ringing)
AAAAUUUUGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MULTI-TASKING SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I mentioned in a past post,we have switched over to a new accounting system (it still sucks).It is now in "full" operation...we have officially stopped using our old,less sucky system in tandem with it,it is stand alone (albiet with braces and a walker).
I have a week or so lead on the learning curve for it so interject into the above numerous intercom requests to come sort something out for some of my coworkers and the frequent "god damnit! you piece of shit" and other like comments emanating through the walls.People hurling abuse at their computers and looking to be on the verge of a psychotic episode.
Invoicing and purchase orders are a particular challenge, for example:
with the old system you would enter part number xyz into the screen and part number xyz would appear as a line item. With the new system xyz gets you a "that is not an inventory item,would you like to add it to inventory?".NO!!!I don't want to add it to the inventory...because it's ALREADY THERE! you retarded cousin of the system I've grown to love. If you put in xyz00000000000000000000000000 it comes up.
abc5 and abc50 are two different items,factor in the zeros and they are the same...really,observe:
abc5000000000000000000 and abc5000000000000000000. we have achieved symbiosis,and the system has a knack for defaulting to the opposite item you want to enter.
Isn't that cute? NO! It's not.And while I have had a week or so to adjust,my coworkers are just discovering the new found joy of trading your computer in for an abacus and you can imagine the resulting angst and tumult.
On a quieter day,the angst and rumination would have been amusing...not today.
We will be over this in a few weeks,but right now we are somewhere around the 6th level of hell.