I'VE GOT TO GET THERE FIRST...
Here's the agenda...get up early,do the hygiene plus a shave.Put on the appropriate clothing(in this case,favorite green shorts...virgin mother T-shirt...impossibly big clunky black shoes).Are we lookin' cool?Oh yeah buddy.Everyone there will know that you,without a doubt are the shit...
Race to the venue...get in line...you had to outpace some people to get in line and for the effort you are #4 in line man...Not too shabby my man.
If one was going to see (insert your favorite post grunge anti new pop rap but no rap hard rock but sorta heavy metal in a post grunge nu metal sorta drop D tuning band name here),it would make perfect sense.
Where was I going?
To clinpath laboratories for a "four stick GTT test"...in other words..I had blood drawn four times in two and a quarter hours with some orange soda tasting stuff as a cocktail...not your intimate club experience with Slayer...to be sure.
I am at a lab...a place where people come to give up bodily fluids to test for things...to figure out what's up...what's ailing you.There are no appointments,it's first come, first poked.
Blood,urine,bowel...they take everything here...most people are in and out...but for me I had two and a quarter hours to sit,and in between draws,observe who came through.
And come through they did...like an assembly line...by my estimation watching the sign in sheet approximately 250 people came through in the time I was there...giving up blood and god knows what else to find out what was ailing them.
The staff at this lab were amazing...a well lubed extracting machine working with each other to move us through as effeciently as possible...the phlebotomist that took my first three was amazing...(let me insert here that I would rather have my eyes burned out with a BBQ butane lighter than have blood drawn...a "contradiction" not lost on the vampires drawing my essence...they see my tattoo's and comment "I can't believe you are afraid of needles."There is a difference,trust me.)
...she was awesome.I didn't feel a thing,plus...she had tattoos...she told me about them.(a bonus for heavily tattooed people is that we get to hear about other people's tat's...always unseen)but she was cool...I liked her,which contributed to my ease about the dreaded needle...god bless her.And she was hot with a 10 gauge...no pain-instant vien.
The vampire that took my last tube took to a different room...she was just as good,but her shelf had a bandolier of smelling salts...ammonia something or other ampules to crack under the noses of fainted depositors...I asked if lot's of folks fainted from this procedure and she said yes and then told me it was ok to relax my fist....done...thank god.
And then I was nout of there...heading to work thinking I'd rather have been in line for Slayer tickets...I took the evaluation form,I filled it out,I mailed it...you guys rock...but not like Slayer.