It's the big day and...
I've got nothing to wear. I'm not a woman who says that while she's got a closet full of clothes. The only thing in my closet are T-shirts that Rob and I both wear and his "going-out" shirts. I don't have any "going-out" shirts. I have one dressy skirt and top outfit, but it appears to be missing the top. I've looked everywhere. I do have another skirt, perfect for this wedding, but it lost it's matching top years ago and I've never found anything to go with it so I headed out to Target yesterday to see if I could find a top. I forgot the only things at Target that fit me are in the men's section and there really wasn't anything there that would go with a dark green, blue and purple gauze skirt. The place was full of rude woman (the kind that just push you out of the way if you are in front of the shoes they want to try on) and their screaming children. I did find a pair of shoes and a shirt that I thought might work (it doesn't), but the whole experience stressed me out so much I came home and proceeded to drink a twelve-pack of beer and vowed never to go shopping for clothes again. However, I DO have to go shopping again since I still have nothing to wear and this time I'm going to attempt...gasp... the mall. This might just cause a psychotic breakdown so if you never hear from me again, you'll know why.

I survived
I just couldn't bring myself to go to the mall so I opted for Mervyn's instead. I ended up with a dress that's just a bit too small from the "women's" section and a skirt and top set that's just a bit too large from the "plus size" section because there is no "in-between" section which has clothing in my size. Both selections look like fat old grandma dresses, but since I AM fat, old and so-to-be a grandma, what the heck. I'm also quite amused by the way the girly floral spring prints clash with my ankle tatoo. Maybe I'll have Rob take a picture and post it here so you can all laugh at me. Well, I'm off to shave my legs and ponder the mystery of why all the hair on my body is blond except the hair on the lower half of my legs and my pubic hair. Hell, even my eyelashes are blond. It's just not fair.