Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Day of rest, sort of
Today was a day off work so I set the alarm for 5:30 AM instead of 4:30 AM. I had intended to get up at 5:30, but there are times when those little snippits of 10 minutes sleep between snooze alarms feel pretty good so I just kept hitting the snooze bar until 6:30 AM when it was time to start poking Rob to get up and get ready for work. I stayed in bed until he left and got up around 7:15 or so. Not sure the exact time since all the clocks in the house are different. I got to read some blogs with my coffee until the sun came up and the pirated wireless internet signal went to shit. Then I ate some breakfast and played The Sims until it was warm enough to go outside and start weeding the former garden. It was a beautiful day and the rains we had last night helped the weeds pull up a bit easier, but still it was slow going as is any physical activity. I was born with Rheumetoid Arthritis and 43 years of it have taken a toll on my body. I've never been able to tolerate any medication for it, and given the recent Vioxx scandal I think that's probably a good thing. Fortunately I was also born with a stubborn streak and that's why you can find me pulling weeds in a garden even though it's extremely uncomfortable. I do know what it's like to be free of pain and stiffness due to a brief stint with cortisone as a young girl. That was one of the most incredible experiences I have had in my life, but it was short-lived. I couldn't tolerate the shots and still have scars from them where they pretty much just ate away the flesh on my hips. As a teenager, I was called "laid-back" by the nicer folks and just "slow" or "lazy" by the not so nice and I flunked gym class repeatedly because my teachers had no clue. The teachers were told about my ailment and I even had notes from my doctor, but they just didn't get it. I was finally able to get the gym credits I needed to graduate from high school thanks to bowling. Yes, my high school had a bowling class and THAT I could do. You throw a bowling ball once or twice and then you get to sit down for a while. And that's exactly how I have to go about life when it comes to physical activity. Do something for a while, then rest. Do it again, then rest. Eventually you get it done. I sometimes wonder how my life would be different if I had not been born with this and I've decided that I wouldn't trade out if given the opportunity. I would never had read the thousands of books I read as a child if I had been able to spend my days running around in physical play all the time. I would not have learned patience and perserverance to this degree. And most importantly, I would not have learned that it's more important to measure myself to my own standards instead of the standards of others. I still have a tendency to set my own standards higher than what is achievable, but I've learned that it's a lot easier to change your own standards than to change those that belong to someone else. And I don't think my lot in life is any harder as a result of this. We all have our own row to hoe and one man's weed is another man's flower.

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