Saturday, March 31, 2007

FUNNY FUNNY SHIT

Kermit - Hurt

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Enjoy your Saturday!

Thursday, March 29, 2007

AMAZING SONG.

I'm kinda familiar with this band,but this song is incredibly moving.It's not really much as far as music goes,but the lyrics are beautiful.And I like the video. I originally saw this at you tube (via crooks and liars late night music club) live on Conan's little variety show but liked this version better.



On a related note,my banjo shipped today and will arrive on monday. Coincidentally,this weeks chronicle cover story was called duelling banjos about the resurgence of "old time music" in Austin...hmmmm.
Maybe I'm on to something.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

WELL...I DID IT...

I went and ordered myself a left handed banjo from the banjo hut in Knoxville Tennessee.

Here it is...a Johnson banjo. Purty huh?
I can't wait.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

WOW...
IT FELT A LITTLE WHITE TRASHY...

I bought some nutter butter wafer cookays the other day when I had the munchies.
They are very tasty.




Turns out nutter butter is one of the official cookays of nascar!!!
Wow!
So, I got stoned and thought to myself: "Self,these cookays are awesome but they would be so much more awesome with hersheys chocolate shell poured all over them!



I was right! And they say marijuana is bad for you...pishaw!:)
PART 2 OF WHAT SHOULD ACTUALLY,FACTUALLY BE CALLED THE 47 COOLEST THINGS I'VE EVER DONE.

24.Got a girl with no front teeth kicked out of "Okey Dokey South" ( guess what kind of place that was ) for trying to pick me up and not taking no for an answer.
25.Saw the same girl at the Back Room several months later and she was several months pregnant.HA!I guess she got lucky at Okey Dokey after all and even said so.She responded with a snarl with a window in it.
26.Locked a kid out of a security room and left a chair in front of the door while he was in the bathroom.Told him he couldn't go back in until he was ready to process with his staff and return to his unit.It worked.
27.Met Dick from the subhumans.



28.Met David Yow of Scratch Acid/Jesus Lizard fame.He dove off the stage onto me and we sang a verse of Monkey trick together.



29.Interviewed Moxy (a canadian band ) for my high school newspaper and reviewed the show at The Armadillo in I believe, 1976.Here they are in 2005:



30.Carried a pregnant and in distress girl out of Black Sabbath's Never say die tour in the palmer auditorium (Van Halen BLEW them away)and managed to get back into the show after.
31.I have killed 3 pit bulls.They all deserved it.
32.Raised a child who isn't in prison and still talks to me.
33.Became a granpa...soon to be granpa squared.
34.I believe 34 was the year I crossed the "smoked a bale of weed" milestone.
35.I discovered the internet,and after years of cursing it and stamping my feet, am actually pretty comfortable with it...thanks Annabelle, for your patience.
36.Worked with Austin's homeless..."Drag Rats".I loved that part of my service to man period.
37.Got in between a transgendered homeless black kid who had stolen a drag rat's dremel tool and the gang of rat's keen on fucking him up for it. They had "smily's" (a 2 foot length of tow chain with a master lock on one end)and prevented a beatdown by telling Wayne and Harry they would have to get through me first.
38.Quit drinking beer.
39.Discovered vodka.
40.Quit smoking weed.
41.Started again.
42.Quit doing speed 20 years ago...just like that.
43.Never went back to it.
44.Became an electrician.
45.Had a pair of prehensile tail skinks that ruled.



46.Joined Wolves@th'Door.
47.Married Annabelle.
So...what cool shit have you done?

Monday, March 26, 2007

What goes down must come up
I made the mistake of reading my work email this morning before I went to work. I usually do this over coffee without too much ill effect, but there were a couple of emails in my box from the top dog at the company that were addressed only to me. This put me in a very foul mood because it reminded me how much under the microscope I've been for the last several months and it's becoming more than just a thorn in my side. That thorn is now firmly embedded under the skin and starting to generate pus. This does not bode well. Emails that I would not have batted an eyelash at a few months ago managed to generate a mood that was likely to endanger any unsuspecting idiot driver on my way to work. But after few deep breaths and a fair amount of cussing, I was able to make the drive without actually running anyone off the road. I admit though, it was extremely hard to resist the urge to ram the idiot that was only half-way pulled into the Starbucks parking lot and blocking my lane for no apparent reason (logic prevailed when I remembered my Tempo was no match for her gigantic SUV.) And despite the bad start to the day, the fact that my Monday floor managing shift always sucks, the news that my dad (currently in the hospital for pneumonia) was having a rough day, the reality of a 12 hour day in the office and three more hours of work at home when I finally got there... despite all these things, I end the day in a pretty good mood. Now maybe I'm crazy or maybe it's because one of the advantages of age is that you learn that all of these things are just minor annoyances when it comes to the big picture and five years from now (or even two months from now,) none of it is going to matter.
I STOLE THIS FROM IDEA FROM SOMETHING AWFUL

Evan "pantsfish" Wade turned 24 and listed the 24 greatest things he's ever done. I will now list the 47 greatest things I have ever done ( and my things are greater because there are 47 of them).Also in no particular order...
1.Pissed on the bumper of a jaguar in the randalls parking lot in westlake hills.
2.Took a photogragh of my friend Dirk, passed out on the toilet. I carried this around with me and showed it to everyone I knew because there was no internet back then.
3.Poured a chocolate shake on Mark Sheehan's head in high school cause we were high and I thought it would be funny.I thought it was funny,he didn't.
4.Smashed a bunch of mailboxes with a sledge hammer and convinced a travis county sheriff who had a clear description of the truck I was in it wasn't us.
5.Chased a runaway kid across a busy street during rush hour and didn't get killed by a car.
6.Took on a .25 semi auto pistol with my belt in the armadillo parking lot and won.
7.Threw up about a pound of tequila marinated green olives (with pimento) while my buddy Doc was kicking the fence I was leaning against and managed to not puke in my luxuriously long hair.
8.Walked through the glass door of a stereo cabinet after a clutch show ( read very drunk ) and didn't cut myself.
9.Rescued and re-homed and/or released 100's of turtles.
10.Had an opportunity to have have sex with a hot black chick when I was living in Colorado and totally blew it.The next morning she got me in a lip lock and my resulting hard on kept me hiding in the back for 15 minutes. I was 20, what can I say?
11.Took the stage at Boomers with double vision and still pulled it off.
12.I have not, to this day killed Andy Hines and burned down his house with everyone in it. Someone else will do that for me, I keep telling myself.
13.Spent 20 years in the service of others at a horrible cost to myself.
14.Survived a horrible car wreck at 18.
15.Took care of my parents at the end of their lives like a good son does.Builds character...right, more like heartache.
16.Shoved a bag of weed down my girlfriends pants when a cop was pulling us over after a crazy night at aquafest in front of the auditorium to avoid getting busted...it worked.
17.Survived a multi year speed binge without losing any teeth or staph sores.
18.Maintained a sense of humor in spite of harrowing odds, with what I brought upon myself and the things that were/are out of my control.
19.Got lots and lots and LOTS of action, before it could kill you.
20.Only got the clap once ( see # 19 ).
21.Somehow avoided any serious jail time.
22.Only involved in the killing of one person.
23.Managed to avoid being killed.
23 1/2 : Had some really awesome dogs.
See here tomorrow for the other half.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

BLACK EYE

There's this Uncle tupelo song that speaks to the decline of character called black eye. It's a wonderful song and while I've always loved it,I've never felt a personal connection to it...until tonight.
I discovered my last eastern box turtle,Flower,dead.Those of you that have known me or read this blog for any period of time will be familiar with my activities re turtle conservation.But I have been slowly drifting away from it...
I have been neglecting my charges for a while now,and had I been more attentive I might have been able to bring flower back...again.
There was the initial rescue,then the oh my god it's 107 in the shade turtle bake that took several of my babies and forever cooked Flower's brain. She was never the same after that.
At the peak of my involvement in turtle rescue I had upwards to 100 turtles rehabbing at my house...fucking turtles everywhere.And each and everyone had a name and a history that I knew...I was dedicated...but not so much anymore.
So off to wildlife rescue they go tomorrow...except for Carmen,the black river turtle from Cuba...and the pair of ornate wood turtles...and Club and Nubs and Fluffy...
connections are funny.Maybe I need to think about this some more.
Nah...They gotta go,except maybe Club and....
I'll keep you posted.Attachment is a complicated thing...

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Not nude yet
It was hot today, though balmy by summer standards in Austin (but it's not summer yet!) Warm enough still, that I felt really hot on the way home from work. The temperature is always cold where I work (helps out the computers) and I get adjusted to that only to get in my car afterwards where I have no working A/C and a driver's side window that no longer rolls down due to my own convoluted thinking - too busy/lazy to fix it myself, yet refuse to spend the money to take something to the shop that I can fix myself. Anyway, I was feeling pretty toasty by the time I got home and peeled off my clothes and looked around for the coolest thing possible to wear. Seems silly, but I still haven't become used to wandering around in the nude even though I tried it when it was the hottest of the hot part of the summer and we were not running the A/C to save money. Rob seems to think nothing of wandering around nekked at times (and I confess that I rather enjoy that trait of his.) I haven't quite achieved that freedom of mind, but I was in luck, having lost enough weight to fit into some inexpensive, on-sale thingies of the XXL variety - I'm not sure what you call these - sleepware, camisoles, babydolls... something like that, but they cover enough to make me feel comfortable (though I certainly wouldn't wander out of the house wearing them.) I have a hard time finding clothes that fit, even sleepware. I'm a big gal and even at a rib-showing, protruding hipbones weight of 150 pounds I can barely squeeze into a size 12. Add to that a very long waist coupled with relatively short legs for someone who is 5'9" and you have a clothes shopping nightmare. Throw on an extra 65 pounds gained while sitting at desk jobs for 15 hours a day for the last 20 years and it becomes a shopping horror movie. The people that design plus size clothing for the less affluent need to be shot. That stuff is just down right awful. And even if I do manage to lose more weight, what's available in a healthy for me size of 16 or 18 is just as bad if I want to find things that are affordable. So who knows, maybe the best solution is to just get more comfortable being nude and join a nudist colony. That would certainly put my clothes shopping woes to rest. ;)

Thursday, March 22, 2007

IT'S GOOD TO HELP YOUR FRIENDS

Unless it involves electrical work in an old house. I have been helping this friend of mine with her kitchen...some track lighting over the sink and installing a range hood. She would like it done by her birthday party, which is sunday.
I have the holes in the ceiling to mount the track and the hole cut in the wall for the dimmer switch,but there's a problem. There are two vertical studs back to back between the hole for the switch and the hole for the track.I spent 2 hours yesterday and 3 hours today trying to get through said studs. I bought a flexible drill bit(a really cool gadget that allows you to bend the bit to a 90 degree angle to get into tight spots ) I was successful!
All I had to do was push the fish tape through, pull in the wire then easy street.
Wrong.
The fish tape wouldn't push through...nor would the jack chain.
Because there are horizontal studs between the window casing and my original stud obstacle.
EEEEYAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHUH!!!
The only way to install this track lighting is to remove an entire section of her sheetrock so I can see what I'm fucking dealing with stud wise.
I just spoke with her and she's all about it...even has the drywall, mud and pieces and parts to do it. So...
Onward! Into the abyss of old house interior walls!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

DUDE...YOU SMELL LIKE P.O...


I started wearing patchouli oil when I was in high school...it went like this: Teacher/administrator:Rev...you smell like marijuana...are you hopped up on pot? Me: Nah man.....(long pause)......I'm wearin' patchouli oil man...
T/A: Oh...OK...Sorry...go on to class (complete with that "God damn itI KNOW that filthy hippy freak is stoned out of his mind but he got me on the "patchouli offense"...little bastard.
Then,for a long time I didn't smoke weed,but I still wore the old P oil cause I liked the smell.
Then one day in supervision when I was on the crisis intervention team at the oaks my boss asked me if I was smoking weed and I said nah man I wear patchouli (only this time it was true and not a lie to hide my wanton ways)and my boss explained that a therapist working at the facility had approached him with concerns that I "smelled like pot". My boss was very cryptic, he would show us samurai films for training..he was awesome. He made some references to the therapist as a "tempest in a teapot"(Whatever that means,I never figured it out but I think it has something to do with calling a kettle black) but advised me to not wear the offending oil at work anymore.
So I put the patchouli down.A clear indication of my dedication to my team,the craft and the facility.Sure...I've had relapses...I have worn(or is it "abused")? the old PO a few times in the last 15 years.
Sue me.It beats the hell out of old spice or Lilac Vegital.
Really.
I GUESS YOU COULD CALL IT A CULTURAL EXCHANGE

Way back when we were first doing the Cissi's market job the sheet rock crew ( read "guest workers" ) annoyed us to no end with the radio tuned to a tejano station. Well,as I've learned over the past months,crews tend to end up on the same jobs over and over again.
As is the case with our new project.Only this time,we got there first.
I brought in my jam box and put in flogging molly, followed by dropkick murphys.At one point Steve and I were up in the ceiling and I started chuckling...he asked what I was laughing at and I said " they have inflicted so much of their culture on us on other jobs,it's nice to share some of our culture with them".He gave me the flaming bag o' dog poop on the stoop grin and we moved on.
Tomorrow it's nailbomb....bwahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaa!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

THE RARE OULD TIMES

Pisser wondered where Flogging Molly was in the mix of my st. paddys adventure. I had heard of them but never heard them. I was partial to the Pogues. So I checked them out and bought Drunken Lullabies tonight. It rules.
If I had to pick a genre of music that can always make me smile, it's the melding of styles that define these bands...barely sustained craziness with banjo,fiddle,tin whistle,accordian and punk rock that does it for me.And the timeless energy of traditional folk.
Add another one to the list...thanks...ur,um,Pisser.
KAPOW! Indeed :)

Monday, March 19, 2007

ST. PADDY'S RECAP

OK...so I got up Saturday feeling middlin', but started drinking at around 11. Got on youtube and watched the Pogues, Van Morrison and Dropkick Murphys, got inspired and went and bought a Dropkick Murphys CD...Came home and commenced to abuse the stereo with more Pogues,Van and my new CD and Thin Lizzy and drank some more.For some reason, I kept getting the urge to pick a fight with some random person...not in a angry way oddly, but in a that's what drunk irishmen do on st. paddys day dammit!!!
Ended up at my buddy Jon's, drank some more and came home, got some guitars and an amp and went back to Jon's. Jammed out for a while and burned one and...SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I know this is a bad idea, one or the other, but never in combination. Smokin' an' drinkin' is a bad idea. Smokin' + drinkin' = Retard.
So, the retard makes it home and blasts the stereo again. Ann comes home from errands and asks me to turn it down and I attempt to turn the STEREO down with the volume control on my COMPUTER...like I said, retarded.
Went to bed shortly after that and woke up Sunday around 4:30am starving,hungover and sick again.Stayed in the bed all day.Didn't get up till 7pm. AMC had westerns on all day...I have decided that Open Range is a good movie after all.And Deep Impact is not (another channel,before AMC's cowboy fest).
Ate some very marginal spaghetti with meatballs (the kind Ray Liotta complains about at the end of goodfellas) and went back to bed.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

I CAN DO IRISH...MUSIC THAT IS

Here goes...

Let me tell ya bout a tough one...a dog named Sullivan
Big and black and proud
When I first spied him he was a wee lad in a cage
At me vet he survived the plague but his owner wouldn't pay
So, bein' a black dog, he came home with me

He blended right in, became part of the family
A barky talkin' black dog
Smart as a whip and not shy about it
95 pounds of Sullivan
But not beyond a hug for me an you

White spot on his chest...
Toenails on the back feet white
The kind of dog you want in a fight
He could take a punch, had the scars to prove it
Sullivan
And he could dish it out
Sullivan

Remember him on saint patty's
Hold his name up to the light
I miss my Sully
Black irish lost to the night.
ALWAYS AFTER ME LUCKY CHARMS...

I know...I'll call in an air strike and decimate the ville!



Happy Saint Patrick's day! I wish I felt better.Although I am much improved from yesterday, lets say I'm feeling craptacular.
But that won't prevent me from celebrating no siree bob.
As pisser pointed out in the comments,it's SXSW this week. Wrist bands started out at $130.00 and went up from there.
There's lots of people from all over crowding the city all over as the festival takes over more and more of the city every year. New acts a plenty playing everywhere.
Have you heard of that singer songwriter Pete Townshend from England?He's here and from what I understand is quite good (heavy sarcasm).
I remember when SXSW was local and new bands...that's how I prefer to remember it.
We need those mayan indians to come and purify the city on monday after the music whore fest is gone.
LOOKIT TH' PURTY FLURS

Last fall a mystery old lady left some bulbs on our front porch,we planted them and this is the result. Tall bearded Iris...nice.


Friday, March 16, 2007

A WORK OF FICTION...AHEM

I woke up this morning and i couldn't breathe. My head was full of paste. I got up and made a cuppacoffee thinking it would help,it didn't. I hit the store on the way to work and got a coke,thinking it would help,it didn't.When I arrived 5 minutes late, my boss wasn't there. I went to the alley to smoke,gagged and heaved and threw up.
Then my head started pounding and my stomach was killing me. Then I heard a honking horn in the parking garage on the other side of the alley. It was the other helper and another helper from somewhere else. It was 7:30 in the morning and these asshats were drinking beer...shitty beer.
In the next 15 minutes I was regaled with tales of drunken infidelity with the neighbor chick and shown a gun with the serial# filed off that's for sale.
Sign me up for that!
Bossman arrives and sees the "what the fuck?" look in my eyes. I tell him I'm sick as dogshit and these motherfuckers are tweaked and drinking beer.
He rolls his eyes with the resignation of someone whose sick of that then sends me home.
I've been on soup and sleep rotation since...finally saw John Wayne in the green berets from start to finish...what blatant propaganda,
Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

I JUST HAD A HORRIBLE THOUGHT THAT I PUSHED OUT OF MY BRAIN AS FAST AS I COULD

I'm sittin' here surfing around and Beenz is standing with her front feet on my thigh gettin' a chest rub and I'm noticing how gray she is around the tooth and eyes and I get this image of another grave in the back yard...Ewwwww. And it had been such a good day. It was a morbid thought.
Back in the day I never had morbid thoughts, Don't get me wrong,I wasn't an optimist, I was a realist with substance abuse issues.Just this side of out of control.
But now I see things more clearly, and on many levels I wish I still had the black and red split lens vision hatred that dominated my youth.
The impact of events on your soul and the realization that those impacts are real and form you...I mean I knew this already, but time adds a gravity to it.
And I'm gonna love my Beenz to the very end.
Not gonna miss a minute.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

HEY YA REDUX



I posted this some months back. It's still a favorite.But in my surfing around YouTube, I found this version:



Where it is revealed that Hey Ya is actually an angst ridden tome to alienation and dysfunctional relationships...who knew?

And then I found this tonight:



A cover of a cover! Wow...with a Neil Young/bluesy inflection.
Well done.
We should do a punk rock version...

Monday, March 12, 2007

SINGIN' SEEMS TO HELP A TROUBLED SOUL

When we first started as a band in '94 it was exciting. We all had some experience with music and a desire to play and finally the resources to reinforce our sound to make it worthwhile.We went at it hard for a long time. We we're tight...three sets. 21 songs. All but 2 original ( Gypsies Tramps and Thieves and Delta dawn ) it was fun.
Then somewhere along the line it wasn't fun anymore...flash forward a couple of years that's right, we procrastinated for 2 years! A fingerful of gigs on birthdays and other...no just birthdays, uh...I mean birthday...Bill's to be specific.
But we all got the itch it turns out. And my son just sent me a song to see if we can collaborate on it and maybe more after that.
Coincidence?
A happy one fer sure.
RETURNING TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

I got sent back to a job I was on several months ago to complete the punch list...I had posted pictures of it back then and will post some new ones tomorrow. The logic being that I am one of the only IJ's left who was on the job and I would have some sort of insight on completing the punch list ( a list of usually minor tasks to be done at the end of a project )...yeah, ok. I haven't been on this job since before thanksgiving. The walls are all closed up, but surprisingly, it came back to me.
Have I ever mentioned that I hate yuppy posers? You know the type, and if you don't it will become self evident with the pictures of this place tomorrow.
This place screams BMW and over extended visa cards. Yuck.
On a lighter note, most of the other trades there then are still there and I saw this carpenter named Mace, who is really cool, he reminds me of an old high school buddy named Chase. He calls me Sparky...what ya think? should I change my sig?

Sunday, March 11, 2007

300

I went to the movies today...the last time I did that was for that Micheal Moore movie about 9-11 and before that it was that turd of a Kevin Costner movie Waterworld.(Don't ask)
I saw 300. Highly stylized it was. It had some memorable moments, but was not what they cracked it up to be.
Not enough giant deformed persian guy if you ask me.
Watched Borat at home last night....good times!
And how was your weekend?

Saturday, March 10, 2007

PUSSY

CLUTCH is playing here in town tomorrow night, and my son thinks me and Ann are gonna be there. CLUTCH shows were one of the defining moments of our families bonding. We have seen these guys as a family at least 3 times, but I'm thinking 4.
They rule. but we're old. Not so much of the mosh pit anymore...besides, I have a fractured rib. Not able to kick ass. Short answer...well, not...
Dear Kyle,
As much as we'd love to be there tomorrow for our continued obsession with Neil and company, we're gonna leave it to you to go and have an awesome time and then rip on us about what a great show it is undoubtedly going to be.
Son...we still got the heart,but we ain't got the legs...sorry.
I know I'm a pussy. :(

Friday, March 09, 2007

BUSH TAKES X...IN AN ATTEMPT TO CAPTURE THE RAVER FACTION!



So...the giggling murder monkey is touring Latin America much to the disdain of the people of Latin America. They hate him just like we do, but being "hot blooded latinos" they aren't afraid to say it. And say it they do,especially in Brazil. You go Latinos! Thank you for saying what we are apparently not allowed to...can't disrespect the king you know.
Jeez...I'm embarrassed by this asshat again. Maybe I should leave it alone,but there's just so much crazy there for the picking over.
And the insurgents missed Cheney,maybe it's that last throes thing.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

MILESTONES...

Ever since Annabelle and I have been together there have been fights...no,let's call them disagreements that number less than the nigh on 14 years (or is it it 13? All this marital bliss has clouded my memory)that we have been a couple. Seriously, we just don't fight. It's as simple as that. Try as we might, we just can't piss each other off to the point of yelling and name calling that I hear so much about from my married friends.
Until tonight.
I left work and went and did a side job...uh,I mean helped out a friend. And after she and her room mate and me and Mike went for margs. Then, me and mike went to another new mexican place and had more margs.
I dropped Mike off at his house and went home. It was 6:30pm.
The lights were not on. I thought, "hmmm...must be a power outage" until I tried to rinse a glass in the sink and the water flowed for about a nanosecond,then I knew I had a problem.
Our power and water had been cut off for non payment...again...it's not an issue of money,we have the money. It's an issue of the person in charge of the utility bills being a flake. Is that person me? NO. Am I the person who has to deal with the problem? YES. Is it unbelievably annoying? YES. How so? you ask. Let me explain...
Come home to a dark house with no water, try Ann's cell to ask about the utility bill status...no answer ( why she even owns a cell is beyond me...she NEVER answers that motherfucker) Same deal with the work phone...never at her desk.
At this point I'm fairly agitated and decide to deal with it myself...again.That amounts to a lot of being on hold
and pushing buttons into my phone, this time with a headlamp to illuminate the terrain I'm currently deployed on. I fucking hate having to wait for service beyond a reasonable time (I'm convinced the city leaves you on hold for extended periods no matter how busy they are to punish you for being tardy)and I hate phone prompts that require you to punch in numbers and pound signs and especially "press one for english"...I shouldn't have to do that in england...I mean america,where english is the official language,unless you happen to be a "guest worker" (press two for en espaniol) god that pisses me off, but I digress.
So, after an hour or more on the phone on the back deck in the dark with a flashlight on my head to illuminate the small numbers on my bank card and my utility bill, I deal with it...again.
Annabelle calls in the middle of this mess and gets a piece of my mind. I'm yelling and cursing and admonishing and bitching, I say fuck a lot in all of it's permutations but stay on task...focused on what I'm mad about.
Annabelle gets home and in the light of my headlamp there's some more bitching on my part.
Then:
Me: The god damn motherfucking power won't be on for an hour and a half...so I'm fucking leaving and shopping. I'll be back later....uhhh...what are you doing about dinner?
Annabelle: I haven't eaten all day...I'm really hungry.
Me: Do you wanna go eat somewhere?
Annabelle: Yes...I would if you can bear to dine with someone who has so deeply disappointed you by not paying the utility bill for the umpteenth time resulting in the city cutting us off again , then yes,I am hungry.
(actually, all she said was " I haven't eaten all day, yes I would like to go eat somewhere )
So I said...Fine...we're going somewhere new, let's go...And we went to Sazon.
We ate,we drank...we shared events of the day and in the end, the lights were on when we got home, and that's all that really matters.
Right?
Well...it works for us, and as for the rest of you that squab about insignificant shit...get the fuck over it, OK?

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

PELICAN BAY...IN THE SHOE...BITCH.

We got a new helper yesterday, and all I have to say is...HOO-WHEE! This guy is a fucking peach. Today, we were going to the shop to get some equipment and he asks "So...what prison were you in"?
Wha-wa-wa-wa-WHAT Bitch?
So I reply without missing a breath...I've never been in prison, I paid good money for these (tats...his assumption of my doing time), the longest I've been locked up was 11 hours in city jail 26 years ago. End of discussion.
He just finished a 15 month stretch,which may have contributed to his confusion. But I think in the end it will play out that he is just another jailbird dumbass (albiet well meaning) punk.
Now,if you'll excuse me I have to go sharpen my shiv and check on my new batch of pruno that I enhanced with rice crispies...

Tuesday, March 06, 2007


WHAT DOES THAT IMAGE SAY TO YOU?

A.Don't walk.
B.Walk.
C.Walk out in front of me.
D.Walk out in front of me,looking at me with contempt and entitlement.Like,after you kick my cars ass,you're gonna kick mine.

Here in Austin, the correct answer is B,C,and D.
I've only been to Mexico a few times,so I don't remember what Mexican walk/don't walk signs look like, or if they even have them. And I'm not implying that our "guest workers" are the only ones doing this. I have witnessed the following blatently ignoring the red hand...
Punk ass high schoolers...drunk ass homeless people...crazy homeless people (they even yell at your car...an added bonus)...That homeless guy that wears 18 layers of clothing year round and carries his estate around in three overflowing grocery carts covered with those blue tarps and rope. That guy with no legs in the moto-wheelchair that has a lift built in. I saw him at HEB one time when I was stoned, one minute he was at wheelchair elevation,I turned away and when I turned back, he was 9 fucking feet tall! I call him Voltron now. But I digress. And deaf homeless people with tablets that tell the life story, and beg for money.And when you try to gently shine them on they go ballistic, exploding in a cacophony of vaguely simian grunts and groans and gesturing you with ugly hand signals and grotesque body movements.But mostly, it's "guest workers",so I'm guessing it's a cultural thing,and the rest of these asshats are just fucking with me...because they can .

Monday, March 05, 2007

THIS MADE MY MORNING

I was drinking coffay and lookin' at the local news site this morning and saw this:
Pussies!!!!!

Wow...I worked at this place for 14 years and saw the regular cops a handful of times...but SWAT? Come on. Back in the day, the team I was on was in house fucking SWAT. The kids didn't show their asses like this cause they knew we were just around the corner. No staff member ever had to barricade themselves in an office to be safe, they just had to call us, end of problem.
SWAT??? Wow.
We've come so far...ha!

Thursday, March 01, 2007

WE'VE BEEN ILL

Ann picked up a bug at work and brought it home. it's an interesting bug...you feel like someone has beaten you with a post, and for me, my stomach made noises I had never heard it make before in 47 years...a gastric gang of four thing. Unpleasant and unwelcome. But as a result of my viral misfortune, I got lot's of sleep and got to see that Hillary Swank/Clint Eastwood movie "Million Dollar baby"...Wow...just wow. Even though I knew what happened at the end,it was still worth going there. A very good film.
Which reminds me about a Blue witch post I read about her forced exposure to the Helen Mirren oscar award winning film "The Queen" on that plane back (or was it to...?) from gookville .
BW queried about movies...I love movies, and for me, it is an escape...to someone else's life...but oddly, my own. I get to counter their decisions...what would happen if I did it my way? It's sometimes like 2 movies in one.
I do agree that fictional characters are better. Once real life happens, it's done.Right? You can't change the reality once it's played out.