I JUST HAD A HORRIBLE THOUGHT THAT I PUSHED OUT OF MY BRAIN AS FAST AS I COULD

I'm sittin' here surfing around and Beenz is standing with her front feet on my thigh gettin' a chest rub and I'm noticing how gray she is around the tooth and eyes and I get this image of another grave in the back yard...Ewwwww. And it had been such a good day. It was a morbid thought.
Back in the day I never had morbid thoughts, Don't get me wrong,I wasn't an optimist, I was a realist with substance abuse issues.Just this side of out of control.
But now I see things more clearly, and on many levels I wish I still had the black and red split lens vision hatred that dominated my youth.
The impact of events on your soul and the realization that those impacts are real and form you...I mean I knew this already, but time adds a gravity to it.
And I'm gonna love my Beenz to the very end.
Not gonna miss a minute.