I STOLE THIS FROM IDEA FROM SOMETHING AWFUL

Evan "pantsfish" Wade turned 24 and listed the 24 greatest things he's ever done. I will now list the 47 greatest things I have ever done ( and my things are greater because there are 47 of them).Also in no particular order...
1.Pissed on the bumper of a jaguar in the randalls parking lot in westlake hills.
2.Took a photogragh of my friend Dirk, passed out on the toilet. I carried this around with me and showed it to everyone I knew because there was no internet back then.
3.Poured a chocolate shake on Mark Sheehan's head in high school cause we were high and I thought it would be funny.I thought it was funny,he didn't.
4.Smashed a bunch of mailboxes with a sledge hammer and convinced a travis county sheriff who had a clear description of the truck I was in it wasn't us.
5.Chased a runaway kid across a busy street during rush hour and didn't get killed by a car.
6.Took on a .25 semi auto pistol with my belt in the armadillo parking lot and won.
7.Threw up about a pound of tequila marinated green olives (with pimento) while my buddy Doc was kicking the fence I was leaning against and managed to not puke in my luxuriously long hair.
8.Walked through the glass door of a stereo cabinet after a clutch show ( read very drunk ) and didn't cut myself.
9.Rescued and re-homed and/or released 100's of turtles.
10.Had an opportunity to have have sex with a hot black chick when I was living in Colorado and totally blew it.The next morning she got me in a lip lock and my resulting hard on kept me hiding in the back for 15 minutes. I was 20, what can I say?
11.Took the stage at Boomers with double vision and still pulled it off.
12.I have not, to this day killed Andy Hines and burned down his house with everyone in it. Someone else will do that for me, I keep telling myself.
13.Spent 20 years in the service of others at a horrible cost to myself.
14.Survived a horrible car wreck at 18.
15.Took care of my parents at the end of their lives like a good son does.Builds character...right, more like heartache.
16.Shoved a bag of weed down my girlfriends pants when a cop was pulling us over after a crazy night at aquafest in front of the auditorium to avoid getting busted...it worked.
17.Survived a multi year speed binge without losing any teeth or staph sores.
18.Maintained a sense of humor in spite of harrowing odds, with what I brought upon myself and the things that were/are out of my control.
19.Got lots and lots and LOTS of action, before it could kill you.
20.Only got the clap once ( see # 19 ).
21.Somehow avoided any serious jail time.
22.Only involved in the killing of one person.
23.Managed to avoid being killed.
23 1/2 : Had some really awesome dogs.
See here tomorrow for the other half.