MY THUMBS ARE CRACKED AND SEEPING BLOOD

Unless it's just the low sodium teriyaki sauce I used to cook the turkey burgers tonight. Who knows? It sure looks like blood. Why are my thumbs cracked and seeping blood and or low sodium teryaki sauce? Because I burned through a box of 100 wire nuts in less than three days and cooked teryaki turkey burgers tonight, thats why. I'll admit it's not as glamorous as chasing down 14 year old girls on runaway from a psych hospital through traffic, but it's part of what I do now. Probably the funniest part about using wire nuts is that the box comes with instructions..."grasp the wire nut firmly between your thumb and index finger and turn clock wise". Yeah, OK, I got it. What they don't say and should is a warning that "excessive wire nutting can result in severe cracks in your thumbs resulting in the seeping of blood, please wire nut responsibly". I can't wait until my third year when my thumbs will be impervious to the hell that is the wire nut, when I can wire nut 5 (yes! FIVE wires inside one red and yellow wire nut) and scoff because my thumbs have achieved monster thumb status and are impervious to seeping anything and void of all feeling. I will no longer relate to Zappa's Dynamo Hum like I used to, but I won't care anymore because I can be the wire nut guy on the crew, the envy of all with my horribly calloused yet impressive thumbs. So impressive that I no longer need my kliens to twist four 12 gauge wires together, I can do it with my bare thumbs and index fingers ( also horribly deformed ).
That would be awesome.