MASLOW'S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS FOR ELECTRICIANS



Electricians, the Texas one's anyway, are an interesting breed. And I'm not saying that because I am in training to be one, really. In my many years in the "helping" profession I have come across this little triangle many,many times and used it to explain all manner of fucked up human being. But not electricians, until now. Since joining this elite group I have tried to diagnose why they are who they are, and it suddenly occured to me that I could cross reference this handy little pyramid and well, alter the shit out of it for a laugh or maybe a chuckle...or maybe not.
1.Physiological needs.
Just like the rest of us, electricians need food and shelter to survive. They however, require certain other essentials to remain sated in this, the first layer of the pyramid. They are, in no certain order: Alchohol, drugs, cigarettes, A truck or jeep like vehical (4 wheel drive), and Nascar paraphenalia. Some older electricians are reputed to swear off these things and are born again. I have yet to meet a born again electrician, and according to my foreman I am "lucky...but it'll happen eventually"
2.Safety needs.
Aside from the generally accepted entries into this catagory, electricians require insulated tools, an ice chest full of beer and a 12 pack waiting for them at home.
3.Belonging needs.
Everybody wants to belong (just ask R.E.M). Electricians have the IBEW or International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers to meet this need. Here it's kind of like a frat for guys who went to trade school instead of college only low brow, no...it's not, I take that back. It's more gang like than a frat, no...I take that back too. When you distill the essence of the IBEW down to its working members and the true spirit of the union it's pretty cool actually, unless you happen to be black or hispanic. Ignore that last statement.
4.Esteem needs.
There are two classifications of electrician that provide 45% of the esteem needs for journeymen electricians and they are: Apprentice and IJ (Intermediate journeyman, or, I didn't take algebra in high school so I'm an IJ). Journeyman have the responsibility of teaching the apprentice/ IJ the trade. They also have the joy that is achieving esteem needs by duct taping the apprentice/ IJ's tools together or placing a gay rainbow sticker on the bumper of their truck. One journeyman I know took a jack in the box antenna ball and attached one of those paper oil funnels you get at the gas station, drew some sinister eyes on it and the phrase "what are you looking at?" on one side and "KKK" on the other and presumably stuck it on some apprentice/ IJ's truck antenna. We work in east austin and have to park back in the hood, which is predominantly black. My truck was not in flames or surrounded by angry residents at the end of the day, so it wasn't me he'd picked to get the klansman antenna ball. I check my bumpers everyday too. The remaining 55% comes from mastering a skill that is dangerous and requires multi layered abilities. We may be drunks with an odd grasp of what's funny, but we know what were doing when it comes to that bitch electricity.
5.Self actualization needs.
Generally not being bothered by the intellectual self masturbation of the people that worship at the base of Maslow's pyramid and have a vintage collection of Skinner boxes they get out at night when no one else is around, electricians self actualize by looking at their pay stub.