THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF
Ann and I met at our favorite place after work today (it's payday after all) and it was cool at first , but then a group came in with a demon child who immediately began screaming BEFORE the high chair torture device was introduced...not a good sign.
Let me describe this group of people...we have of course the screaming toddler,her mother,a dreadlocked twentysomething know nothing, the father... a "i cut off my mangy dreads and now wear a watchmans cap to cover it up but still have the mangy beard with shit living in it you don't want to catch...the parents,a scary barfly looking woman paired with a guy that has probably seen more prison than free time.An added bonus was the asexual looking aunt who looked like a retard.
So the kid is screaming and they put it in "time out" audibly so the offended (us) will know they are dealing with the kid...as you can imagine...the kid just screams louder what with being pushed face in to the wall of the patio...we see and hear these lame ass attempts with contempt,this is no place for a child...this is not burger king's playscape (damn them and McDonalds for fostering the "a restaurant is an ok place to let our feral children run wild" to the american public) this is an adult facility,and the adults don't like your snotty nosed rug rats running roughshod over our attempt to have a peaceful time of drinks and tex-mex...get a fucking babysitter ok???
So...the satan child leaves...they bus the tables and pull three of them together...oh no...it's an office party.
Here's a description of an office party (8 or more people,who work together,getting together for drinks and food) set to the lyrics of that song by rick nelson's "Garden party"
Well I fell into an office party and the women were all so loud
that they couldn't hear each other above the din
and the laughter was fake and loud
with each round of margaritas they got increasingly shill and loud
cackling like like a bunch of fucking hens
and I couldn't hear myself think at all
Because they are so fucking self centered...they didn't notice the disapproving looks
That I threw at them like I wished they were claymore mines...
OK...so the analogy only works minimally but you get the point.
There are kids and fucked up kids...don't bring a fucked up kid out in public unless you are sure you can control said fucked up kid...don't ruin my time just because your fucked up kid has ruined yours...it's you're kid not, mine...don't share the trauma with me.
And you loud asshole office groups...chill the fuck out or do it at home.