SO...DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE AN ELECTRICIAN?

Well...yeah, I think so. I renewed my license for another year. I keep showing up. So, yeah...I guess I do. I'm working with the foreman now, I've been waiting for that. To learn the theory behind the mechanics I've been learning for almost two years now. When I first got into this, it was my friend helping me out after I lost my job with a couple of weeks of work to make ends meet...that short call has turned into a regular gig, and now I'm paired with the person who bailed me out and I want to learn from the most. Cool.
I can do this. But I'm conflicted, and I'm forced to come to terms with what I really want.
In no particular order, here's what I really want:
Win the lottery in a big way and travel and go to school just because, you know...take classes just because .
This will most probably never happen...but I can dream.
Be in a working , viable rock and roll band. I was/am in a band. Since 1994...we rock(ed) but I'm 45. Coming in on the twilight just doesn't seem like a viable option. I am a decent singer/songwriter, and have thought about that acoustic route, but can't bring myself to even play my guitars these days, much less write some songs to move you. I write them in my mind, but that's where they stay. I have wanted to be a rock star since I was a kid, but I'm afraid the frost is off the pumpkin on this one.
I need to start writing songs again...I can dream
Get a really big inheritance.
HAHAHAHAHAAAA!Like that will ever happen.
Get back into the psychic wars...NO...Fuck THAT I won't ever do that again, but I am sad that my chosen profession has led to my general hatred of all things adolescent. If I could run a program like I wanted, they would get right, in spite of themselves. But my way is the way of the dinosaur as much as it pisses me off. My way is the right way. The truth. And it seems nobody wants to deal with that anymore. Pity.
So, I have this opportunity. To learn a trade from someone I respect, make a decent living and maybe even have some magic time come my way.
O.K. ... I think I can do that.
Waa-waa?
Yes...absolutely.