BECAUSE SPECIAL K ASKED ME (NOD-NOD,WINK-WINK)

Not really, but I thought it would be entertaining. It's a meme, and you are suppose to respond to any 5 of the following statements:

If I could be a scientist… I'd invent happy juice and put it in the water supply
If I could be a farmer… I would wear overalls without a shirt, grow super dope and be stoned all the time, riding a pimped out tractor.
If I could be a musician… I would play guitar and sing like I had a throat full of barbed wire...oh, wait....
If I could be a doctor… I would drive around in a mini bus like some vets do here, only it would be "mobile doc" and it would be free.
If I could be a painter… I would do giant watercolor versions of those black power velvet posters from the 70's and make bank doing it, because art snobs are stupid.
If I could be a gardener…
If I could be a missionary…
If I could be a chef… I would so kick Emirel's ass...BAM! Indeed.
If I could be an architect…
If I could be a linguist… I would be a cunning one.
If I could be a psychologist… I would make Hannibal Lector look like a cub scout.
If I could be a librarian…
If I could be an athlete… Sporting events would be much slower, involve more gasping for breath and an increased EMS presence.
If I could be a lawyer… I could do guest spots on court tv and expose myself to Nancy Grace...over and over again until her head exploded.
If I could be an inn-keeper…
If I could be a professor… I would go to class as the nutty professor until I was recruited by a french university, because the french love Jerry Lewis.
If I could be a writer… I'd write childrens books...with satanic messages just to fuck with the parents.
If I could be a llama-rider…
If I could be a bonnie pirate… My funny walk would be because my ass hurt, not because of a wooden leg, and my AAARRGH would have a lisp, and all my sailor friends would be turkish. The focus is on "bonnie" here...which I believe is scottish for "gay", but I'm not sure.
If I could be an astronaut… I would insist on being called "supernaut" and the sabbath song of the same name would be played each time I went into space.
If I could be a world famous blogger… I would'nt be reduced to doing memes for material.
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world… It would be the Texas supreme court, and I would kick some serious republican ass.
If I could be married to any current famous political figure… I would undoubtedly be addicted to a variety of substances to dull my shame.

There it is. I'd pass it on, but....nah....