HE WASN'T RIGHT...IN THE HEAD

Braveheart was on the USA network tonight and after the first segment I realized that if I was gonna watch it for the 500th time, I might as well watch my DVD instead of suffering through all the commercials. However...I REALLY want one of those dulcolax beach blankets.So I plugged it in...not the dulcolax, the DVD.
Anyway...I love this movie. And my favorite character is the Irishman, you know, the one who talks to the almighty. It's his island, after all.
Thats my favorite scene, when he comes into camp and volunteers along with that shitheel that he ends up killing to cover the back of william. My absolute favorite part is when seamus calls him a madman and he replies " Well, I guess I've come to the right place then" and the scots look at each other and realize the irishmans right.
Yeah...that's it.

Just another tricky day
It appears that the curse of the call center has moved on to someone else since Saturday was a relatively good day. Today was slow and I got cut early, but worked a half-day so my check shouldn't show too much of a hit. What made this a tricky day was discovering the state of the bank balance. About $200 short of where it needed to be prior to the first of the month. Damn, here I thought we were being so careful, but somehow things slipped away from us again. That damned Visa check card makes it too easy to forgot to log a transaction or two or three and when things are tight, that spells disaster. Besides, it's a little unnerving thinking that every single thing I buy is recorded in some database. Maybe keeping cash in a coffee can isn't such a bad idea after all.

@#$%*&!
Whatever is in charge of the big picture of life has apparently decided to send me all the shit calls at work for the last two days. I suppose this could be punishment for whining about my potential earning power earlier, but the more logical side of my brain says its just the luck of the draw. Whatever the reason, I was very close to a meltdown at about 3:30 this afternoon. Somehow I made it until my 4 pm clock out time and then burst into tears as soon as I got in my car. Although I guess "burst" isn't the right term since only about 4 tears ran down my cheeks, but that's more of a burst than I usually do. Not that there's anything wrong with a good sob, it's just that I tend to save those for more private moments and the parking lot at work is a far cry from private. It doesn't help that tomorrow will most definitely be worse than today since we are extremely short-staffed. Someone just might find me crouched under my desk at work mid-day tomorrow babbling incoherently. Or maybe the hell that has decided to visit itself upon me will go victimize some other poor call center employee and I'll have a breezy day brainlessly stepping folks through the Internet Connection Wizard. Like I said, it's the luck of the draw and I suppose I should count myself lucky that I've survived almost seven months of it since the majority of people that were hired at the same time and went through training with me are long gone. Now on a good day, with thoughts of compensation aside, I really do love my job. Well, at least for the first six hours or so (I haven't got my tolerance level much past that yet.) But on a bad day you might as well be pushing bamboo under my fingernails. And I suppose every job is like that to some extent, but this one seems so much more challenging than others I've had. It's one of the least responsible jobs I've ever done, yet it generates highest stress level I've experienced to date. Go figure.

But enough about work. I played a game with myself last night while trying to go to sleep during a maelstrom of worry about finances. I wondered just what I would buy tomorrow if I was suddenly rich that night. Mind you, this is not any consideration of long term planning, just what I might run out and buy the next day. The top item on the list was... underwear. Yep, I have apparently missed just how important comfortable and well-fitting underwear was to my perception of what constitutes the "good life". So I've decided that next payday, budget be damned, I'm buying myself a pair of my favorite over-priced panties.

Reality
I just learned today what I can expect to earn at my current employer after two years, provided I've managed to get promoted to a level 2 technician during that time. The pay is less per hour than what I made fresh out of high school back in 1979. It put a bit of a damper on my thoughts to work towards that promotion until I remembered it meant $200 more a month than what I'm making now. So while I might be poorer than I was in 1980, I'd still be richer than I was in 2005. And that's a good thing.

THERE WAS THIS FORUM IN WASHINGTON YESTERDAY

Made up of journalists...left leaning journalists, speaking out on the cancellation of the news in this country. More specifically, why we hear wall to wall nonsense about runaway brides and whether or not jacko is more than a nickname ( if you follow my lead ). Or even more mundane bullshit about other celebrities like Paris Hilton...if you want the scoop on her, may I suggest the South Park episode that nails her to the wall
better than any news channel could ever dream. Why?
Because Paris and her ilk, in my opinion, are cartoons and by virtue of this, can only be exposed by other cartoons...like South Park, before you think I'm crazy...they get skewed by cartoonists so accurately because they are not news. They are celebrities, objects of entertainment best dealt with by people involved in the entertainment business. Like the guys at southpark, who have a much broader brush to expose shill shuckster drunken sluts like Paris (seriously...watch the episode ) .
Unless it was me that knocked up Brittany, I could give a shit what extra dancer/rapper type has been tagging her as far as the news is concerned. If he kills her in a jealous rage over Justin whats-his-name, that's borderline news.
That surfer girl that got her armed ripped off by a shark last year? That's not news...that's the chance you take occupying the same water that has creatures capable of ripping your arm off living in it.
That guy that cut off his own arm after getting lost and falling victim to a boulder? Nope...not news. That's just what happens when you hike alone in a dangerous area.
And while we are being beaten over the head by these stories, the real news passes by.
The torture of prisoners at gitmo and abu-whatever. The desecration of the KO-ran (which, by some twist of fate is surfacing again ) . The Downing street memo. In other words, the truth about whats going on in the world while we are inundated by stories about Paula Abdul fucking some contestant on american idol and how exactly did Oprah lose all that weight is being ignored or glossed over or buried in back channels.
If the media wants to focus on entertainment, fine...I like a train wreck just like the other guy, to hear the shit on celebrities is fun and vouyeristic. I enjoyed watching Paris suck that guys dick...it was funny, plus she doesn't know the first thing about giving head judging from the video. You'd think that someone like her could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch...but no...I've seen people at oktoberfest eat corn on the cob more erotically than Paris blew that guy...seriously. And furthermore, why do we judge celebrity on the ability to publisize sex acts? Thanks Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee...oh, and yeah, Brett Micheals. These two bitches have made a killing off of being lowlife sluts in a political environment that frowns on this kind of behavior and even legislates to censor high school cheerleaders. Explain that one...please.
There's entertainment and then there's news.This shit is entertainment, or in the loosest of definitions "social commentary".
Back to the forum.
Al Franken kicked things off, and while I respect his politics, he is an entertainer first and foremost. I don't doubt his sincerity, but I have a problem with the routine. He used a line in his statements that I heard him use on his radio show on air america not a week earlier and ( I think ) more than once. He likened the number of WMD saddam had up to the start of the war to how many he had...which was none. It got laughs on the show and it got laughs at the forum. Was he shooting for laughs or trying to make a point? I think he was trying to make a point, but his detractors would surely say otherwise.
To Al I would say that's entertainment...why not say " Saddam did not have any WMD's and our government lied to us" ... simple and to the point, no funny needed here.
It's really simple...This is news defined, something I learned in high school journalism...WHO...WHAT...WHERE and WHY.
Another Airamerica person spoke...Randy Rhodes...she was eloquent and heartfelt about establishing standards for what is news, one of the most interesting things she said was that according to a recent poll about free press in the world , the US was 29th...29th!!! The biggest exporter of democracy and freedom in the world ranks 29th in regard to free speech.
There's a simple explaination for this...the biggest exporter of democracy and freedom in the world is lying to it's own people and everyone else.
And it's becoming clear.

I'm trying to stay awake past my normal bedtime not because I'm off work tomorrow and could possibly sleep in a bit, but because I'm watering the weeds out front and the sprinkler needs to run for a while longer. Since they are weeds, they require much less water than a conventional lawn, but I can't ignore them completely. If they should die and the ground go bare then the clay soil will turn into an impenetrable brick where nothing will grow for the next 5 years. I know this because that was the state of one section of our backyard when I moved in over 10 years ago. We called it the mud pit and bought hay bales every time we had a party so folks wouldn't end up with muddy or dusty feet. Eventually the hay tuned to compost and weeds actually started to grow, but it took about 5 years and even now there are still bare spots. By watering at night I am breaking one of the "gardening rules" for this area which is that you should NEVER water at night. But these are weeds and I figure they are capable of standing up to the slugs, snails, pill bugs and fungal diseases that night watering encourages. The veggies post more of a dilemma since I don't want them to have to deal with such things, but I am also not supposed to water in the afternoon either. I'm not sure why, maybe because of the heat. All these gardening rules confuse me. And it doesn't really matter what the rules are because I HAVE to water at some point in the late afternoon or early evening, rules or no rules. On a hunch, I've been taking my cue from the flowering tobacco plants. I wait until the blooms are open and then I water. I don't know what their cue is to open, but it seems to be tied more to air temperature than sunlight or maybe it's some combination of both. So far it seems to be working provided you don't count the one pot of green beans. And my mom suggested that maybe those were just planted during the wrong phase of the moon. Her father swore by it and this was a man who not only fed a family of ten from the home garden, but who was also not apt to blindly believe in superstition. So while there's no scientific proof, I figure it can't hurt to pay a little more attention to the moon phases in the future. Besides, I'll be following a family tradition.

Yesterday I had a long string of rude, angry and/or obnoxious callers and by the end of the day I was damn tired of being nice to people. That feeling didn't change any after a night's sleep so I had to keep my fingers crossed that I could maintain a pleasant and helpful phone voice on the phones today. I think I pulled it off. It helped that I got sent home a couple of hours early which, while bad for the paycheck, was very good for my mood. We are going out to dinner tonight with some friends (they are buying.) We haven't been out to eat in ages or for that matter, spent an evening visiting with friends so it will be a welcome change. And who knows, I might even skip the housework tomorrow and spend my day off, well, taking a day off.

BW and Rob have convinced me to give the sickly green beans a bit more time so that's turned into a wait and see situation. The squash is doing the best of all the plants but only producing male flowers right now so I have no little squash yet to watch. We will harvest our first cherry tomato soon (probably tomorrow,) but have had no new blooms now for weeks. This means there's only a handful of tomatoes on the plants, but heck, even just a few makes me feel like a success. I found another big pot laying around that I can use to plant cucumbers and even found some old partial bags of soil so the only money I need to spend is on seed. That's good news since we are still flat broke. The beet seedlings are not very happy due to the record heat we've had this week, but things are cooling down a bit so maybe there's hope. It's all a grand experiment so what ever happens is fine with me.


Happy squash 

DID I SAY SOON? I MEANT NOW.

Prisella Owen...the latest judge brought up for consideration by bunnypants is from Texas. She is a champion of corporations. To quote many detractors of this corporate bitch, she has never met a corporation she didn't like. She has sided with corps and big business despite juries finding for the plaintiffs, overturning judgements and fucking the everyman. She is up for consideration, and if confirmed, will serve for life on the 9th circuit court of appeals...that's a lifetime of dicking us around, taking advantage of the new bankruptcy rules to help big business. But more importanly than that, SHE DOES NOT FOLLOW THE LAW. I'm sure you have all heard about the airlines that have given penshioners the big fuck around hiding behind this new legislation regarding bankruptcy...people who have put in to a "privatized" system now have dick ( social security...read into this SOCIAL SECURITY) because the companies they worked for have taken advantage of a law the bushites have put in place that took their FUTURE away from them.
This is the latest fuck around from Bush and his minions...Please vote them out as parasites in 2006 and make his lame duck years even more lame, perhaps to force an impeachment or a resignation in shame.
Approval ratings are the lowest for these assholes than they have been in years (33%) 33!!!that sucks. Let's take them down. Vote them down...vote them out.
I'm not the most astute political pundit out there and I don't pretend to be, but I know when shit stinks, and this is a giant pile of stinky STINKY shit.
You know it and they know it...numbers don't lie.
Don't let Bushco fuck us anymore than they already have.

AM I THE HANDY MAN OR WHAT?

Several months ago,Sullivan (our spaz black dog) knocked our digital camera off my keyboard tray with a spectacular display of no sense of area and broke the little latch that holds the battery door closed that gives life to said camera. We tried the duct tape repair with decided mixed results...it didn't work. So I did surgery this weekend. Not having the funds to get it repaired by a "qualified professional" (who would have undoubtedly said "you need a new camera") I looked at the situation like a mercenary and figured if I drilled a hole between the body of the camera and the "door" to the battery chamber and shoved something in the hole, it might work.I had nothing to lose.
I used a "teeny-tiny" high speed bit and ever so carefully drilled through the body into the battery cover, just so far. Then I inserted a finishing nail, then I sheared the nail down to the right length...and presto! The camera is back in action, minus the ton of duct tape and resultant duct tape spooge.
SAVE! As Ann's garden pictures testify...there is nothing you can't do with a drill and some determination.
Within reason of course.
Dumb luck? Jack of all trades realized? Or lucky move with the right amount of vodka? You decide.
And, no...I did not do the cabbage patch dance.
Political/social ranting to resume soon....

Sick vs healthy 

You couldn't really tell from my previous picture just how bad off those green bean plants were so I moved the pot for a little comparison. We had some very heavy rains in between the plantings so they may have root rot. Either way, they are toast since I'm going to dig them up, modify the pot for better drainage and plant something else. It's the wrong time of the year for more green beans so I'll have to go with something else. Maybe cucumbers.

Sickly Green Beens 

I don't think these guys are going to make it. The second batch planted a week or so later is doing great and the plants are twice the size. Same soil, same size pot, same package of seeds. Go figure.

I had a good laugh today

Store Wars

Musica
Rob was trying to tune his guitar tonight without the benefit of a tuner and not having much luck. I decided to give it a try and was hit by a flood of memories. You see, I frustrated more than one piano teacher as a child because they thought I had "perfect pitch". Except that I could never name the notes. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get notes to have names in my head. I could name the written notes on the piano score and the keys on the keyboard, but I could not name the sounds. I could tell you if a note was in tune or not, but could never say if it was a C or a G or an F#. They could play a record for me and I could play it back on the piano with the correct notes in the correct key, but I couldn't say off the top of my head while listening to the record, "That's in the key of C". Therefore, it was always decided that I didn't have "perfect pitch". So when I tuned Rob's guitar tonight I figured I could, at best, get things close since it's been thirty years since I messed with any of that "perfect pitch" stuff and to boot, I'm barely a bass player and definately not a guitar player. After I was done, it sounded right and Rob was able to play it just fine, but I couldn't help but wonder just how accurate I was. I drug out an electronic keyboard and scratched in my memory for the names of the notes of the open strings on the guitar and tested them against the keyboard. It turned out my tuning was absolutely perfect. Apparently even though I can't name that note, I can still tune it off the top of my head, from memory.

I NEVER REALIZED

That I was such a studly looking guy. I took a cue from our buddy Special K and went to the virtual model website...and in addition to her looking pretty damn hot, she's right! I do feel better. Just imagine my virtual model covered with tattoos. And, uh, well, somewhat thinner.



If you could add a bit of a gut...OK...a moderate gut to this it would be me...virtually. Oh, and those pecs...whiskey tits that look like pecs.

SO...WHERE'S THAT JIHAD YOU PROMISED US?

You know...that retracted Newsweek story that prompted a bunch of clerics in Afghanistan to threaten us with an ass whooping. They said three days...it's been four. So what's up you cleric mofos? I'm a cleric too, in D&D gaming that is. I've been idle for 20 plus years because I got over it. What's your excuse? Did the Newsweek retraction change your minds? Where's your constitution? If I remember correctly, I have 22 constitution points and 48 hit points. Plus I have a dire wolf. So bring it on. Jihad me asshats.
make believe is fun, isn't it?
Or could it be you have been duped as well?
I've got news for you...we've all been duped. Regardless of how many flags you and yours have burned or the number of korans that have been flushed.
When you get right down to the body counts, none of that shit really matters.
Does it?

GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT

If you've been following the comments to my posts about dear Mr. Galloway you will have noticed that the consensus ( of two, but I imagine lots of other folks feel this way as well ) is he may well have done some less than above board stuff, but his fervent assault on this issue was right on the money. I agree with this wholeheartedly, it's just a shame that his words come to light under the circumstances that they have. But then again, maybe not. Until the inquiry, I had never heard of him. And probably much of america hadn't. So maybe this scrutiny was the backfire we needed to hear what he had to say.
I believe he opened a door ( with his foot ) for mainstream media in this country, not identifying the problem ( because we all know what the problem is, and anybody who will deny it should be locked up or killed...did I really say that? I meant sent immediately to a re education camp or forcefully sterilized ) but giving us permission to talk about the maggots in the fruit bowl.
And people have been talking. You see and hear it in little ways. Today, I caught a bit of a show on court TV where they were arguing about this filibuster thing, and the GOP groupie was spewing the usual party line about them and the host of the show show told her to stop lying. This wasn't the dem guest refuting the bullshit, this was the host.
Now I know the truth is out there and has been for a long time, but this is mainstream media calling bullshit on the powers that be.
It's like waking up from a bad dream, little bits of reality filter in until you realize it was a bad dream.
I hope we continue to gain momentum.
But lets get back to Galloway for a minute, or rather the notion that he can be guilty of improprieties, but this time he told the truth, so in this instance he is vindicated.
There's an old adage that even a broken clock is right twice a day. And I can think of no other that describes todays politicians ( regardless of party ) more aptly. There are no clean politicians, there have never been clean politicians, ever. They are all players, and always have been. Just like us regular folk, they have skeletons in the closet too, only the skeletons they carry around have the potential to do more damage than that time you told your wife you quit smoking and your evening walks with the dog included a pass by that rock where you hid a pack of marlboros and a lighter.
That being said, there's a difference between a nick from shaving and a dagger to the heart. Bushco has been and is a dagger to the heart of this country. A dagger that everyone ignores...sure, we can feel it digging in, but until now it has never been acknowledged in such a plain in your face way. It appears that maybe...maybe Bushco is losing it's lock on the mainstream media.
And it's about fucking time. I'm all about flawed heros...I loved Eastwood in Unforgiven.
I'm waiting still, just a bit more hopeful.

STRONG MEDICINE

George Galloway handed the hats to a senate inquiry commitee yesterday regarding the food for oil dealio and our involvement in Iraq in general. The following are excerpts from that commitee that I stole from subversity, who got it somewhere else. It's powerful stuff, and I saw it live, and I was riveted by his words.

George Galloway, a maverick kicked out of the British Labour Party for his fervent opposition to the Iraq war and for personal attacks on Prime Minister Tony Blair, used the opportunity to criticize the U.S. invasion of Iraq.

Before the hearing started, Galloway dismissed the panel as a "neo-con ... pro-war, Republican lynch mob."

Galloway bluntly confronted the Republican chairman of the committee, Sen. Norm Coleman of Minnesota, and challenged the attorney to back up claims the British MP profited handsomely from the now defunct program. Some of his harshest remarks concerned Coleman's support for the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq that ousted President

"Now I know that standards have slipped over the last few years in Washington, but for a lawyer, you are remarkably cavalier with any idea of justice," Galloway said.
Galloway accused Coleman of sullying his reputation and falsely asserting that he gave money to Saddam. "You call that justice?" he asked, adding later: "This is utterly preposterous."
"Senator, in everything I said about Iraq, I turned out to be right and you turned out to be wrong, and 100,000 people have paid with their lives -- 1,600 of them American soldiers sent to their deaths on a pack of lies," he said.
The British MP told reporters later he felt Coleman had failed in his cross-examination. "He's not much of a lyncher," he said.

Speaking the Truth To Power

"I told the world that Iraq, contrary to your claims did not have weapons of mass destruction."

"I told the world, contrary to your claims, that Iraq had no connection to al-Qaeda."

"I told the world, contrary to your claims, that Iraq had no connection to the atrocity on 9/11 2001."

"I told the world, contrary to your claims, that the Iraqi people would resist a British and American invasion of their country and that the fall of Baghdad would not be the beginning of the end, but merely the end of the beginning."

"Senator, in everything I said about Iraq, I turned out to be right and you turned out to be wrong and 100,000 people paid with their lives; 1600 of them American soldiers sent to their deaths on a pack of lies; 15,000 of them wounded, many of them disabled forever on a pack of lies."

British MP George Galloway
Senate Testimony
Tuesday, May 17, 2005

That's some serious shit...I was as impressed by what he said and how he said it...he sounded like Sean Connory. I emailed our friend BW who lives in the UK and inquired about Mr. Galloway. In addition to confirming the power of a scots accent and agreeing with the overall notion that he kicked our senate commitee square in the nuts, BW revealed some sketchy stuff that would suggest he's not what he appears to be. Another UK blogger that lives in Galloways district has some disconcerting things to say about him, go check it out.
On the face of it, Galloway is speaking the truth, a truth that I agree with and a truth that we as americans needed to hear. And we heard it on CNN live yesterday and in endless replays on the other networks as well. Air America radio was all over it today. It got more coverage than I thought it would since it was decidedly calling bullshit on bushco in a more pointed and public way than I've heard...ever.
To come out swinging this hard you have to be beyond reproach. I just hope that when it all washes out he is that and can't be discredited by bushco.
Otherwise, it means dick.
BUT...if he is legit, this could be the first serious ( mule fucking republicans notwithstanding ) blow to the bullshit.
My fingers are crossed for Mr. Galloway.
And the world.

MORE LIES

It would appear that this whole quran desecration thing is a crock...And while I heard this news the morning after my initial indignant post about it, i decided to wait awhile before posting about it again. Newsweek has retracted the story, everyone is in an uproar over it. 15 people are still dead (at least) and the pot has been effectively stirred in Afghanistan.
Cue camera three! split frame focus on opposing parties...stat! Come on everyone! It's Afghi's turn in the spotlight...North Korea is next.
Do they really think we're that stupid?
YES.
Propaganda.
More lies.

LIFE IN THREE PARTS...OK , MAYBE FOUR

PART ONE

I thought maintenance guys were dummies. We are in the middle of a slowdown where I work, so the week is shorter hours wise. Being in the union I could drag off this job and sign the books and go somewhere else, but I don't want to. I like where I am, and I want to stay there. I just don't know if we can suffer through financially. Plus, as I've mentioned before, journeyman electricians are notorious for treating apprentices like shit. I can handle playing and teasing, but if you shit on me, I'm sorry, I'm gonna shit on you. I've been around too long to be demeaned. So, the option is non union full time employment. My social worker days are long over, mostly because I don't have the heart for it anymore and partly because (and more practically) no one would hire me looking like I do...so, it's maintenance work for me.
I applied at an apartment complex today who advertised a preference for people with pool experience. My pool experience was the first thing out of my mouth..."I can clean your pools, I can maintain and repair your equipment, and I was a parts manager so I know what to get when it breaks and know how to find it". They were impressed. Then they gave me the packet.
The one with the 100 item test. TEST!!!!AUGHHHHH! I hate tests. I did ok with the plumbing and electrical sections, I managed the carpentry and appliance repair sections. I completely tanked on the HVAC section. I can change a filter on a air conditioner, but beyond that I'm Corky from Life goes on. We'll see what happens.

PART TWO

Side jobs are a definite possibility. I went to my corner store and spoke with the owner about doing some minor electrical repair for him on the side. He immediately said I need my side lights repaired - you can start there. They are getting bulbs and will call me. He owns several stores in Austin, so this could develop into something sweet.

PART THREE

I want to live in TVLand. For some stupid reason, I watched an episode of Highway to heaven with Micheal Landon as the angel. This particular episode dealt with trying to integrate an amerasian child into the family...you see, dad was "lonely" and "afraid" while he was in the Nam, and stilled his apprehension and fear by tagging one of the locals. They had a lovely girl child who lived a life of hatred and derision until mamasan shipped her off to america, where she was met with the american version of hatred and derision. The son's best friend from next door father was killed in Nam by a "gook", so he is naturally full of hate, his mom congratulates the new mother on getting a maid asking "has she figured out american vacuums yet"? There is much conflict. Finally, Jonathan (landon) and his sidekick (Victor French ) solve the problem with guidance from god. They also paint the new parents house by some "coincidence" and are present to intervene and set things right. It appears that the neighbor boys dad was killed while helping "his adopted children" in Saigon...and those children were...you guessed it, those amerasian orphans that our american soldiers populated the countryside with while they were dealing with their "fear" and "apprehension" by searching for some "peace". The gook hating bigots are magically transformed and this transformation coincides with the girls birthday. Sweet.
All kidding aside, and scraping off the unbelievable amount of cheese, I had to give the writers props for clumsily tackling an important issue of the day with such honesty (albiet schlocky as hell, and with Micheal Landon as the impetus of change ). This was pretty ballsy for TV circa 1977, and I was a little impressed.
That a generational problem could be resolved in an hour was somehow appealing to me and a reminder of how fucking naive we were 30 years ago. It was almost refreshing to remember a time when understanding was so simple.
And then I switched over to CNN where some guy named Galloway from England was dressing down an inquiry committee about this mess in the middle east. He rocked. He spoke the simple truth ( in my mind ) and the assholes on the inquiry committee ( also in my opinion ) were at a bit of a loss.
This one won't be solved in an hour. Where's Landon and French when you need them?

PART FOUR

I have some Hummel figurines from the late 50's and early 60's...any takers? Yeah, I thought not.

That ain't no way to raise babies
That's something I heard on an episode of COPS the other night from an officer that was talking to a women who was raising her children in a house with no natural gas or electricity. Mind you, there were other things wrong with this situation that probably warranted the statement as a whole, but it really pissed me off that he made the statement specifically in regards to having no electricity or natural gas service. Rob and I had a spirited discussion over this other night where he reminded me that I'm probably one of the few of my generation who ever actually spent time living quite comfortably in a house that didn't have indoor plumbing, gas or electricity. And he reminded me that the cop was at least one generation beyond mine and had probably never conceived of such a thing as even being possible, that you could actually raise children without electricity and gas. It appears that yesterday's luxuries are today's necessities and kids born today will probably think that life can't possibly exist without cellphones and cable TV. We've all been hoodwinked into an increasingly expensive standard of living that some of us can no longer achieve. And we've been, to some extent, forced to swallow it hook line and sinker. There's no way I could survive where I live without paying for city water service. I can't drill a well in my backyard and even if I could, the water would be undrinkable from pollution. So I'm stuck with city water, though I could probably get by without the electricity. But I also have to cough up $250/month for property taxes that pay for, well I'm not sure what all, but the biggest chunk goes to schools even I have no children attending them. But if I don't pay it, I'll lose my house. Think about it, $250/month just to keep your hands on land and a house you already own. Maybe it's just me, but that's seems really wrong. And then there's the whole issue of mandatory car insurance. We pay $120/month for this because we have bad credit thanks to being laid off a couple of times over the last few years. I fail to see the connection between bad credit and car accidents since I've not had an accident or ticket in well over 20 years, but the insurance companies disagree and charge us through the nose for something we are required to have BY LAW if we want to drive a vehicle. I'd just as soon ditch the vehicle if I had adequate public transportation in this town, but despite paying 1% sales tax plus a fee to ride the bus, it still doesn't go where I need to go 90% of the time. Now there are city things that raise our expenses some, but it's not much cheaper to move to the country. There's still the property tax issue and those taxes are not that much cheaper out of town. You definitely have to have a car and you'll spend more money on gas going into town to work and to buy necessities so I see no big advantage over moving out to the country except that I could have a cow. Maybe it's just a childhood fantasy, but I've had fresh churned butter before (churned it myself numerous times) and it was so worth the effort. But other than that, there's not many advantages to moving out of town, at least around here where any plot of land within driving distance of your job costs just as much as your in-city plot. I figure we just have to make the best of it where we sit and trim expenses where we can until we sell the house, buy an RV and start making our living as campground hosts.

Traffic thoughts
Once upon a time when I was a teenager, my boyfriend and I used to play a game. We'd sit out on the swing of his parent's front porch and try to guess the make, model and year of the cars that drove by. I realize that teenaged lovers normally do other things out on the front porch swing, but he lived on Manchaca Road which was a major thoroughfare and had way too much traffic to permit pursuit of those other activities. Instead, the level of traffic was perfect if you wanted to play this kind of game and very unlike the front porch of my parent's house which had a passing car about once every couple of hours. The memory of this game came back to me today as I sat on my own front porch this afternoon and realized the level of traffic on my "neighborhood" street seemed every bit as much as what used to drive down Manchaca Road back in 1975. That's a rather startling conclusion given that Sunday afternoons are a rather light traffic day in our neighborhood. But at an average of about 6 cars a minute (I timed it) it definately appears that even more cars pass my house today on my "neighborhood" street than the number of cars that used to pass my boyfriend's parent's house on a major thoroughfare back in 1975. Kinda freaky.

WHAT? EXCUSE ME?

check this shit out.
It appears that we are being threatened by a jihad...because the sacred koran, or quran, or khorran ( they can't even agree on how to spell it ) was desecrated.
And this from a part of the world where they burn the american flag and american leaders in effigy like fucking kindling.
What needs to be said: Fuck you.
What will probably be said: The United States and it's allies regret any misunderstanding regarding the abuse of your holy scriptures in an attempt to demoralize your bad actors that tried to kill us.
Under presidential order, we will return to the "pretty please with sugar on top" directive to extract information from our prisoners of WAR.
WAR being the key word here.
We have three days to apologize and turn the offenders over for punishment. Apologize for what exactly?For doing the same shit they are? I tell you what, we'll give you that heathen spec IV who flushed the ko-ran down the toilet at gitmo if you hand over that asshole Bin Laden. You don't know where he is? Right... Seriously...F.U.C.K-Y.O.U.
I don't agree with this war, but come on. If you can't take it, then don't fucking dish it out you asshat motherfuckers.
I can see it now...after Bolton is confirmed (god forbid) and the issue is tabled at the UN...the "don't burn our flag, we won't burn your scriptures" initiative.
It's "nanny nanny boo boo" on an international scale.

CAT ORGY UNDER THE CARPORT

We have this stray calico looking kitty that lives in our camper shell that leans up against the fence under our carport. The truck that it went with is long gone (sniff) but the shell has major memory points ( we bought it for our honeymoon trip to Colorado ) so it remains...housing for the stray cat and birthing station for the multiple litters of kittens she has popped out under it over the last 5 years ( at least ).
We have another litter on the way. How do I know this? Because our little uber vixen slut cat has been entertaining the local toms under our carport for the last week. How do I know this? From the howling and wailing and cat screaming emanating from our carport, that's how. And by the presence of her usual suitors...a scruffy orange tom, a scruffy grey tom, a grey and white tom and a couple of new players I haven't seen before, including a very nice looking burmese. He is obviously a well cared for house tom from the neighborhood slumming for some street level pussy, and getting his ass kicked by the regular scumcats that frequent the campershell of love.They slink off in the morning when we come out to go to work, giving me that look. Like I disrupted the moment and messed with their game.
The noises they make are unsettling. First there is the fighting for the right to impregnate howling yowling noises...very unsettling to our 3 black dogs, who leap from their resting places in an explosion of woofs and barks gathering at the front door, backs rigid and tails high, sniffing away with cat murder on their minds. Then you got the actual sounds of cat copulation...how can anything that sounds like that be enjoyable?
The carport has been quiet now for a few days. I'm sure she's knocked up, so it's time to buy cheap catfood and start the stray kitty prenatal / postnatal assistance plan.
Like we always do.

BW INQUIRES PART TWO

Heck, they couldn't even raise a decent anti-war protest.

She's right on the money about this. Protesters have been relegated to "free speech zones" miles away from where the action is, starting with this current administration and it was ratcheted up as we approached the war. People have been arrested and detained and tossed for wearing T shirts that have a revolutionary message. Kids have been suspended from school, people have lost jobs for sporting the wrong bumper sticker.
I remember the Viet Nam days up to the Kent state thing, I went to demonstrations at UT, some of them dissolved into tear gas laden rock throwing slugfests with law enforcement and pro war pro party assholes. People got hurt on all sides, but that was part of the risk of speaking your mind.
That's not the case anymore.
Protests and demonstrations are regulated by the government these days, you have to get a permit, you have to stay in a designated area. There are unwritten dress and signage codes. It's pathetically ironic to me that the focus of a lot of these demonstrations are the ones making the rules ( and pocketing the fees) for the demonstrators.
Gone are the days when you could gather around the ROTC at the university with signs and howl at them as they went through thier exercises. Try that now and you'll get arrested.
I have to watch a good old fashioned demonstration on cable, televised from another country.
I thought it was hilarious that when Bush went to the popes funeral, he could'nt mingle with the crowds outside, because he is so despised and reviled that even his image on the giant screen TV's elicited howls and boos and much deserved derision.It was too dangerous. That can't happen in this country anymore. The land of the free, home of the brave is an illusion, carefully cultivated by the people in power.
The wool, however, has been pulled over our eyes so tightly for so long now that it's becoming threadbare and gauzy. And a fuzzy image is starting to peek through, I hope it is anyway.

BLUE WITCH INQUIRES

Do you really think your countrymen will rebel? I don't. Heck, they couldn't even raise a decent anti-war protest. And the god-squaddies are dangerous. Veeery dangerous.
Blue Witch | Homepage | 05.13.05 - 10:03 am | #

In response to the first question I would say what countrymen? The people who are already poor and don't follow the news whether it be mainstream or underground. The countrymen who march in lock step through the jungle that is minimum wage? The countrymen that are not countrymen (wetbacks) that occupy houses like termites to afford the rent? Those people will not rebel, because living here marginally far exceeds what they have living in mexico. They won't rebel...they have it dicked, all things considered. In fact the government of the US of fucking A wants to give them amnesty...not because they are politically challengened, but because they will work cheaper than we will. And it helps hedge the profit margins of companies that support bushco.inc.Wetbacks and outsourcing are golden. And the american workforce has so far rolled over, because they don't realize the threat.
So lets move on to the middle class, the threat is closing in.
It used to be the haves vs. the haves not and that line has been increasingly blurred...now it's the haves vs. the haves not vs. the have nothing. The middle class is increasingly finding itself on the losing end...while satisfied as the haves not they can't deal with having nothing, and there's the rub.
The haves need to be taken down, and they will be taken down.
I'm sorry BW, but your obvious lack of confidence pisses me off.*
Once the squeeze on the middle class takes full effect, watch what happens.
I'm waiting for the revolution.
*add 5/14...not at you, not even because you said it, but because currently you are correct.

Checking In
I passed the six months mark as a phone tech support and it seems that I may get health insurance coverage next month because they have waived the hours worked requirement during this dry spell. Things at work might also get real busy again but the new potential contract (and an existing one) hinge on improved QA performance. Damn, just when I was starting to get into a good groove, the heat got turned up a notch.

The money situation is still pretty dire, but we managed to keep the lights and gas on by the skin of our teeth. And I decided that no matter how tight things are, I still need a few luxuries here and there so I got some beer for my day off. I couldn't bring myself to splurge on Shiner so I'm drinking Mickeys. Eeeech. Oh well, it's beer and I don't think I could have motivated myself to weed out in the garden today if there wasn't cold one waiting for me.

The veggie plants are still alive and it's been fun watching them grow. I planted some beets today even though I have no idea what to do with beets. I've never eaten them before and Rob says he's only had them pickled, but I'm sure we can figure something out. I can't fit very many beet seeds in a pot so there will be just enough to experiment with if we do manage to harvest any. If we decide we like them, we can plant more in August.

DO WHAT I SAY, NOT WHAT I DO*

That's what my Dad used to say to me when he was teaching me how to drive. He was a nortorious tailgater, but god forbid if I tailgated. And the list went on. It was then that I began to question and challenge him, and the image of my Dad was put into sharper focus. He wasn't perfect, but I still loved him. And this is where I make a hard left, hang on, bear with me.
Our collective "Dad" is the republican right. I never loved this "Dad", ever, but I tried to buy into the bullshit. I just kept choking on it. Here's some recent revelations to try and wrap your head around.
The national ID card thing.
Jim West, mayor of Spokane, anti-gay to the max, is a homosexual, and according to who you listen to, a pedophile. He's also an arch conservative. Go figure.*
John Bolton, Bush's nominee for UN ambassador. Everyone already knows he's an asshole, but for some reason* it's been acknowledged, but widely ignored by those in power.
According to Larry Flynt, Bolton forced his first wife to engage in rough group sex and he was a frequent visitor to Platos retreat ( swingers ) in the 70's. She bailed on him while he was on vacation in fear. That taken with his public record doesn't exactly reflect the values of the republican party.*Yet the push is on to confirm him.
Tom DeLay continues to snub his nose at his detractors in spite of a mountain of evidence that confirms what many already believe, he's as crooked as a San Antonio street.
Some politician from Georgia named Neal Horsely admitted on ( I believe ) Hannity and Colmes to fucking a mule when he was a teenager. I'll say it again...fucking a mule. He is a conservative republican.
OK...so let's recap.Orwell's vision come to life in the form of an ID card, Homosexuals, pedophiles, criminals and mule fuckers in the republican party? How can that be??? It must not be true. So when Mayor West admits to being a cocksmoker and Horsely admits to having sex with an animal they're just joshin' around? If the first lady can "joke" about bunnypants jerking off a horse, suddenly it's open season? I don't think so. These people are dangerous*.
I think we are rapidly approaching critical mass. There's this war that supposedly ended a year ago, but we're currently losing. Andmake no fucking mistake, we are losing the war.
Then there's the economy...hahahahahahahaha! The good news is there are more jobs being created. The bad news is that most of them are low skill/low wage and most of them have been outsourced. The middle class in this country is slowly being squeezed out of existence. Ann and I keep climbing to the top of the hole, only to be kicked back in by this "growing" economy. There are many more just like us.
Some people say that after the 2006 elections and bunnypants morphs into a lame duck, the end will be near. I tend to agree, but not in the way they hope. Being a lame duck, he can do whatever the fuck he wants, and based on his record so far, that can't possibly be a good thing. Does anyone really think that Bunnypants Inc. will suddenly change it's stripes in the final two years of the administration and attempt to right all the wrongs of the previous 6? That will NEVER happen.
Is anyone rising up? Sure...but it's lip service. Shit, this post is lip service. There was a reporter on air america relating a conversation with a member of the bush administration who basically said that they are an empire now, and the reality the reporters knew in the past didn't exist anymore, they were creating reality as they went along.
That's scary.Really fucking scary, this tells me they are beyond the scope,power mad.
Way back in the day I used to have heated discussions with a friend of mine about this exact kind of shit happening, nothing specific, just the spiraling out of control of government we're seeing now. I predicted a revolution, an uprising. A time when the people would see the lies and decide they had had enough.
It's close....I can almost feel it. And, I don't know about you, but I'm ready.

HELLO! I'M ROBBY ARMPITS, PROFESSIONAL FART NOISE MAKER

We were listening to Stern this morning blathering on to Pam Anderson about wanting to hook up with her with a bunch of coke and some hookers and go crazy. I wondered aloud how it was possible that people made bank doing this kind of shit for a living. Which led me to my favorite "celebrity" to bash on in this manner. You may have heard the radio
commercials...yes, it's Bobby Badfingers....Professional snappest. I'll say it again...Professional snappest. This guy makes a living snapping his fucking fingers! People pay to watch this guy snap his fingers, people pay for his book on the history of finger snapping.
If you don't believe me, he even has an official website. This is just wrong.
I can make some serious fart noises with just my right hand and my left armpit...or vice/versa. I can fart melodies. I could write a book on the history of armpit farts.("it all started in my 4th grade class at popham elementary...") I could do a website on armpit farting, complete with mpegs and wav files. I could organize the largest group of arm fart enthusiasts ever in an underground parking garage and perform the flight of the valkyrie, record it and sell millions of copies.
I can also drum my fingers on any hard surface to the tune of any 60's tv show you can come up with.
That's gotta be worth something...right?

IT'S A MYSTERY TO ME

The kids came over last night to visit and share wedding pictures and just generally hang out. Over the course of the evening, my son commented on his mom in a sort of offhand way, but was forthcoming when I pried further.His original statement was " I don't even think Jim knows yet" (Jim is his grandfather on his moms side) I say, Knows what? that Brandy is pregnant or that you guys got married? Kyle responds either one (forgive the lack of those quote marks...I'm lazy).I was amazed. Upon further inquiry, I learn that my ex was encouraging the kids to call it off, right up until the day of the wedding. Or at the very least, keep it "secret". Now what the fuck does that mean? And what does it say to the kids?
Is she ashamed of them? So ashamed that she would not tell her own father that his grandson was getting married and expecting a child? According to the kids this is the case.
What the fuck?
I had my reservations about this union, but I put my own bullshit aside and bought into the notion that they love each other and celebrated in that love. I didn't keep it a secret from anyone...any of it. Once I worked through my own shit about being an old man, I was cool with it. How it works out is up to them. I can only hope that my son absorbed some of my genious advice about being in the world, and being in the world with a partner. I think he listened, I hope he did. Lord knows I went through a lot of bullshit learning how to do it right.
I never pulled any punches and always tried to keep it as simple and basic as it is, this being in the world thing.But I did try to keep secrets.
Before he came to live with us, it was easy to hide them. My primary secret was I liked to smoke weed. Once he moved in, it was harder to hide the fact that I was...gasp...a pot head.
Now it's important to interject here, that his mom is/was a 12 stepper...sober and hating it. She met her husband at these 12 stepper meetings. The same meetings I took kids to for years while I was into that psychic war thing. She was working the 12 steps as a lifestyle while I was learning them to help filter the bullshit from the reality for my clients.
Let me say right now, that if you got involved in a 12 step program and it helped you get sober...good for you. But if it turned you into a cult driven freak, fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
She viewed it as salvation, I viewed it with suspicision. And in the end, it failed her. When she mentioned the 9th step she wanted to do with me ( making amends ) and never followed through I decided she was full of shit, or afraid of owning up. The beginning of a long trail of smoke and mirrors.
Back to the thing...When Kyle lived with his mom and I had that ever popular every other weekend and wed. visitation thing texas law and judges like, Getting information was like pulling teeth. I would inquire about how things were going between visits and get smoke. I would raise concerns and be shined on. I raised concerns about a particular babysitter and got stonewalled. But the sitter disappeared, I still have questions about that, never to be answered, and at this point they don't really matter anymore.
And the list goes on and on, pointless now because my son is an adult. But, in a sense, I still want to know those secrets. Those unspoken travesties and dramas kept from me to avoid a scene.And keep me in the dark, unable to intervene.
It's a mystery to me why this union could be kept secret. And it pisses me off. I have never denied my shame for the stupid shit I've done in my life to anyone, and especially to my son. If he can learn from me and my mistakes and somehow be a better person, it was worth the embarrassment...it's not even embarrassment. It's being me. damaged. flawed. and not ashamed of it. Life is a character builder, meant to be shared. All of it, even the ugly parts in the light of day are not so ugly, as long as you can be honest about them.
When you get right down to it, I'm a fuck up in search of redemption, I have no compunction owning up to this and the search goes on. I may never be forgiven, but I won't hide what I am. That would be dishonest.

Ahoy there mate
We are internet pirates. We grab our internet connection from the various unencrypted wireless connections spewing their waves across our neighborhood. The downfall to this is we frequently can't get a good enough signal to connect. It's best in the late evenings which is why you see more posts from Rob than me these days because I have that blasted early bedtime. Tonight I'm ignoring my early bedtime and posting from the middle of my backyard where I have just barely enough signal strength from neighbor X to connect. I could also use neighbor Y by going out to the front yard, but neighbor X is an Earthlink customer and has much better connectivity than neighbor Y who uses SBC. There's also neighbor Z who provides an extremely strong signal (also Earthlink cable) and it's so strong that I can pick it up inside my house with my wimpy built-in antenna. Unfortunately they went to WEP encryption a while back and I've resisted the urge to grab the key and hop on their connection because I think of WEP as a door lock. It might be a really weak lock, but it's a lock nonetheless. I know who neighbor Z is since their SSID gives them away and if I knew them better I might offer them 20 bucks a month if they'd let me share their connection. But for now I'll stick with the freebies even if it means sitting in the middle of the backyard sometimes.

THE RELUCTANT ELECTRICIAN

We have been working in the soccer / track and field stadium, upgrading power so the concession stand can operate both of it's fryers without tripping breakers, we're also adding
some additional outlets. So far we have added a new, bigger transformer, that because of space constraints had to mounted from the ceiling. Did I mention it weighs 364 pounds?
Suspended from the ceiling. 364 pounds...man. Then we added a new panel box, right under the transformer, and next to it a sub panel. All of this will allow the concession staff to make funnel cakes without tripping a breaker.
Then, there was the 300 foot wire pull from the main electrical room. And then we had to hook everything up. I had the honor of wiring the transformer, the panel and the original panel
to meet the new configuration. This involves running conduit up out of the panels, across the ceiling ( already a mess of conduit ) with a variety of kicks, offsets,3 point saddles and 90 degree angles going in a variety of directions on one piece...and, here's the kicker...it has to look uniform. Forget that my journeyman and my foreman are sticklers for continuity, I am too. I learned that from them. The only problem is, I have been doing this for 11 months and they have been doing it for years. And I constantly second guess myself when it comes to bending conduit.
Imagine my panic this morning when my journeyman did his ever increasing " this is your project...what do you need to do"? routine in regard to the measuring and bending of some 3/4" conduit travelling from a panel on one wall to another that is perpendicular to the source. This involves navigating around existing conduit...and it has to look good. And my journeyman is not helping, at all. I'm on my own, after all, it's "my" project. I'm staring at the mess on the ceiling and my brain starts to swim. And then I remember a trick...take a piece of wire and make a model of what you want to do on the ceiling. The model looks great, "it'll work" I say, "get er done"! responds my journeyman, "Times a-wasting"!
Now bending 8 inches of 12 gauge wire is easy, you can do it with your fingers, but bending 3/4" pipe involves turning it in the bender ( in the right direction ) and do you bend off the floor or flip the bender over and bend down ? One wrong turn and or bend and you've wasted a 10 foot piece of conduit.
My journeyman was gleefully anticipating watching me : A: waste conduit, B: sweat and cuss and C: give up and let him bend the pipe (without that pesky thing called measuring) once and have it fit like a glove, first time out. He said so...as in "I can't wait to watch this hee hee hee.
Well, Guess what? I got it right the first time out and only had to shorten the final bend by less than an inch ( off a measurement given to me by my journeyman, go figure ).
It looked awesome, and when we fired it up, nothing blew up.
I pulled it off.
And what did my journeyman have to say about it?
" Even a blind pig finds the acorn sometimes " And then he smiled. I guess I'm getting it.

SIGNS OF THE APOCALYPSE

Back when I was a retired social worker, I spent a lot of time watching the talk shows. I started my day off with coffee and Jerry Springer, back when Jerry had awesome guests like "incestuous klan members who wear diapers and have sex with colored women while their wives masturbated to posters of dolomite in the barn...burning with pleasure AND shame".
It was awesome...it was rabid. The spring-o-nator was on top of the game. After the show I would mosey on over to the computer and log on to the forums and "discuss" the show I had just watched. It was an IM version of the show, and it was fun to bait the other members of the forum.
Then it was over to court TV to catch the latest in the OJ travesty I mean trial. That motherfucker was/is so obviously guilty. He's still looking for the real killer (s), I even got in on the hunt for awhile and guess what? He did it, and he got away with it. He wasn't looking for anything beyond shaving some points off his golf score and figuring out a way to resurrect his endorsement career. Ginsu Inc. approached him I heard, but he wisely declined, waiting on an offer from ping golf...something about a slice option.
But enough about that. After catching up with the Cochran wave of bullshit, I would tune into Jenny Jones, Ricki Lake and all those other folks trying (at the time) to out springer springer. It couldn't be done. He was the king.
And then there was Oprah...She's fat! She's thin! She's fat again. But mostly she was what I reluctantly call "high brow" talk show circa mid 90's...I mean she had the book club. She had minor to mid level celebrities coming on her show to discuss subjects as varied as parental abuse and drug addiction, and incest and parental abuse and the book they wrote about it. People cried, guests cried, Oprah cried while listing off the options to contact her club to purchase signed copies of these books, but compared to springer, it was mundane...it was too tame. But it was sinister in a way that the control she had/has over her audience made me nauseous.
That was then.
Lately, I have been listening to springer again, on air america radio. He's a serious commentator now. Gone are the transexual white trash brawls. I always believed he was smart, and I knew he was politically astute. He played the trash card and made a shitload of money, and now he is one of the voices of liberal america.
But what of Oprah? I haven't followed her beyond seeing alternate images of her on the tabloids in the check out line at the third world. It seems that she has retained her ability to gain and lose weight to the tune of 50 plus pounds a week. I remember the deal when she gave everyone in the audience a new car, only to fuck them with the taxes on those "free" cars. But beyond that, I'm not so much into the cult that is Oprah.
But yesterday I saw a commercial for todays episode, and I thought to myself, " Self...Oprah's going for the Springer factor with this one".
Here's the set up: 7 married guys sit in the round with Oprah and discuss how they have been cheating on their wives. Meanwhile, the wives are in the green room watching their respective husbands fess up on closed circuit TV monitors. The second half of the show Queen O brings them all together and demands that the men fess up.
Why? The wives already heard it. Imagine being one of those wives and hearing " My mistress dyed her pubic hair neopolitan, and while I gave her head she whistled "Ice cream man" and played hot rod gear shift with my unit". Or even it if was the tried and true " I hooked up with that crack whore/ hooker because my wife wouldn't wear a ball gag while I poked it in her ear, Secretia was willing to do that. She fufilled me in ways my wife wouldn't, and besides...crack is cheap". And then Oprah would admonish " who do you really love"?! "Admit it"!!! And the husband would sheepishly respond, " I love my wife Oprah, but I'd love her a lot more if she would wear a ball gag and let me engage in a little ear sex", and then start sobbing. The wife would then leap to her feet, charge across the stage and clothesline the husband out of his chair screaming something incomprehensible, but thanks to closed captioning we know she agreed to wear the crotchless teddy even though it demeaned her and caused her bulemia and the affair with the pool guy. Now that's quality talk.
Not. But it is entertaining.
And a clear sign that the planets are in need of alignment.
Now if you'll excuse me, there's a Montel rerun I need to catch on the WB.

BECAUSE SPECIAL K ASKED ME (NOD-NOD,WINK-WINK)

Not really, but I thought it would be entertaining. It's a meme, and you are suppose to respond to any 5 of the following statements:

If I could be a scientist… I'd invent happy juice and put it in the water supply
If I could be a farmer… I would wear overalls without a shirt, grow super dope and be stoned all the time, riding a pimped out tractor.
If I could be a musician… I would play guitar and sing like I had a throat full of barbed wire...oh, wait....
If I could be a doctor… I would drive around in a mini bus like some vets do here, only it would be "mobile doc" and it would be free.
If I could be a painter… I would do giant watercolor versions of those black power velvet posters from the 70's and make bank doing it, because art snobs are stupid.
If I could be a gardener…
If I could be a missionary…
If I could be a chef… I would so kick Emirel's ass...BAM! Indeed.
If I could be an architect…
If I could be a linguist… I would be a cunning one.
If I could be a psychologist… I would make Hannibal Lector look like a cub scout.
If I could be a librarian…
If I could be an athlete… Sporting events would be much slower, involve more gasping for breath and an increased EMS presence.
If I could be a lawyer… I could do guest spots on court tv and expose myself to Nancy Grace...over and over again until her head exploded.
If I could be an inn-keeper…
If I could be a professor… I would go to class as the nutty professor until I was recruited by a french university, because the french love Jerry Lewis.
If I could be a writer… I'd write childrens books...with satanic messages just to fuck with the parents.
If I could be a llama-rider…
If I could be a bonnie pirate… My funny walk would be because my ass hurt, not because of a wooden leg, and my AAARRGH would have a lisp, and all my sailor friends would be turkish. The focus is on "bonnie" here...which I believe is scottish for "gay", but I'm not sure.
If I could be an astronaut… I would insist on being called "supernaut" and the sabbath song of the same name would be played each time I went into space.
If I could be a world famous blogger… I would'nt be reduced to doing memes for material.
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world… It would be the Texas supreme court, and I would kick some serious republican ass.
If I could be married to any current famous political figure… I would undoubtedly be addicted to a variety of substances to dull my shame.

There it is. I'd pass it on, but....nah....

AIR AMERICA RADIO

I've been listening to these folks for a while now, and all I have to say is wow. You can listen locally at 1600 am. They've got Jerry Springer, who in spite of his legacy as a white trash TV whore, is politically astute. They've got Al franken. They've got this firebrand woman Randi Rhodes in the afternoon. They've got that Garofaloe chick in the evening and on sunday night they have Steve Earle! Awesome! If you happen to be a liberal. If you aren't don't bother, it'll just aggravate your conservative (albiet BLIND) sensibilities.
Here's a couple of items I heard about today that I have yet to see reported on any of the cable news networks. 1. This kid reporter from an Arvada, Colorado high school newspaper
went to an army recruiter and said he was a drop out and had a pot problem. Did the recruiter send him packing? No. He helped him get a fake diploma and helped him find a cleanser so he could pass his drug screen. The kid busted him out, and the underlying desperation of recruitment practices. 2. There has been an amendment "folded" into a must pass military bill calling for national ID's...not funded by the fed, the cost would be passed on to the states. This is a gigantic undertaking. It means yet another increase in taxes for us citizens already in the nut crunch of high taxes, more importantly, it's a further infringement on our privacy and civil rights. The scariest thing is, since it's a must pass bill, there will be no debate, no discussion. We will be steamrolled by the "less means more gub'ment" republican asswipes that are currently running us into the ground.
Yesterday, after I returned from the recycling place and the pawn shop, selling off my belongings so we could continue eating, I checked the cable ( it's free for some unexplainable reason, and no, I'm not stealing it ) news channels...Fox : Runaway bride, MSNBC: ditto, CNN headline: ditto, CNN: ditto...ALL of these "news" channels were force feeding this stupid bitch and her dumbassedness down our throats full throttle while the tickers at the bottom of the screen gave us partial sentences about people dying overseas ( remember the war?) and car bombings and the nuclear sabre rattling of Iran and North Korea. But what are they focused on? Some Julia Roberts wannabe. Just for grins, I went to Court TV and guess what? DITTO. Oh my GHAD! They might press charges against whatever her fucking name is. And the ticker at the bottom of the court TV screen scrolls the same death and dispair I saw on the other channels that everyone is ignoring because of THE RUNAWAY BRIDE.
You stupid fucks.
Golem Cheney came out and said this national ID thing is going to protect us, that Al Queda factions are still trying to hit us. Yeah yeah yeah...guess what fuck head? They are already here. Layin' low. Do you really think they gonna come forward and register for a national ID? Please. I'm an american citizen and I say to you fuck that. I ain't signing up for this bullshit, and any right thinking american won't do it either. Our borders have been so open for so long that there is no way to account for every legal and illegal resident of the US of A no matter how hard you try. The only way to stop it is to shut down the borders...and good luck with that, not to mention it goes against the most basic tenents of this country.
Anyway,back to the point...Air America Radio.
Check it out if you want the truth.

BAD NEWS / GOOD NEWS

I've been so busy treading water lately that I just haven't had the energy to post. Here's a little capsule version of whats been happening.

Bad news: Ann and I have both had our hours cut at work. While a temporary condition, it's been going on long enough to create a pretty dire $$$ situation.
Good news: At least we're working.

Bad news: I went without meds for 5 days.
Good news: Between recycling and a trip to the pawn shop, I managed to drum up enough cash to get them and have enough $$$ to eat and get back and forth to work.I did'nt have a stroke...woo hoo!

Bad news: The city left a cut notice on our door for our electricity.
Good news: They didn't cut it off w/o notice, and in general, won't if you call and explain the situation.

Bad news: I had to pawn one of my guitars.
Good news: It was a cheap one that I think I played a half dozen times since I bought it ( with windfall money ) in 1999. So, all things considered, not such a bad thing. Except...
I watched my Dad pawn guns and cameras the whole time he was in college. Most of the time, he got them back. But sometimes money was so tight, he would lose a gun or camera
to the shop. When that happened he would be so bummed, disguised by the look of resignation on his face that was suppose to say " that's the way it goes sometimes" but really just said a sad muttered "fuck". I promised myself I would never pawn anything.Looks like I can strike that one off my list of bridges never to cross.(mutters fuck sadly)

Good news: Kyle and Brandy are going to have a boy! There is no bad side to this...even if they were having a girl.

I'm trying to keep a positive attitude, and so far - so good. Ann thanked me this morning for working with her and helping out, and while I appreciate that (and the fact that she and her ex husband had terrible rows over the lack of money ) I firmly believe that we are in this thing together...the marriage thing, the partnership thing, crisis or not. Arguing about a fact that arguing won't change is a huge waste of energy. It's simple...we's po'. And only by sticking together will we dig out. Recriminations are just stupid. We're both doing the best we can, and we need each other more than ever. Sure, I miss the salad days. I'm sure Ann does too, and beating each other over the head and heart with our former salaries is hurtfull and pointless. We are lucky to have each other and we know it.
And that's really good news.

Child's Play
Last week I had an hour between the time I got off work and the time Rob would arrive to pick me up. It was a nice day outside, a bit warm, but it was a better choice to hang outside than to stay in the work cave. I hung out under a tree in a grassy area near the parking lot so I could avoid a sunburn and my mind took off into the world of make-believe. I was actually on some other planet where you had to stay in the shade most of the time because your body temperature would rise a certain amount for each minute you stayed in the sun. To travel from place to place you had to move from shady spot to shady spot and if the next shady spot was too far then you would die before you got there. The ground you were traveling on made a difference too because rock would cause you to heat up faster. I played around with some mathematical formulas to calculate distance one could travel and then thought about what sort of culture this would produce and what sort of means they would develop to deal with the situation and what similarities it might have, if any, with the desert dwellers of earth. By the time Rob picked me up I had three different culture groups (the cave dwellers, the man-made city structure folk and the shade-oasis building nomads), a variety of peculiar animals and plants, and some ideas of what sort of agriculture they might practice. The hour went by really fast, but what I'd really like to know is why the hell I can't do that on those nights when I can't seem to fall asleep?

I can still laugh
Things have gone from bad to worse, but I don't want to dwell on it. I managed to get a good chuckle today walking through the parking lot at work. The State of Texas has a building that shares our parking lot and they have goofy security guards that patrol it in silly little golf carts. Today one of the golf carts came careening around the corner at the precise time the theme song from Deliverance (Dueling Banjos) began playing out of a nearby van. I guess you had to be there, but it was very, very funny.