The ever diminishing Christmas
The last four years I've worked on Christmas Day and each year it feels less and less like the Christmas I used to remember. The problem starts back at Thanksgiving which is another holiday that I have worked for four years now. Instead of Thanksgiving lunch at my mom's on Thanksgiving day, we go over there after I get off work for dinner. Dinner means I don't get to lounge around with the family in a post-feast haze because I have to get back home so I can go to bed and get to work the next day. Thanksgiving has shrunk from a two-day holiday to three hours spent at my parent's house. The food is still great, but I miss the afternoon time with my family and the get in gear for Christmas on the day after when I traditionally dig out the Christmas stuff and put up the outdoor lights. That hasn't happened for four long years and the holiday "season" has gradually faded. This year we put up some lights later in December but the wind blew down our wire tree and killed the string of lights that was on it. That was start of the death of Christmas this year. The unexpected doctor's bills killed off any chance of buying presents. My family will be receiving home-made Chex Mix this year. They say it's the thought that counts and I made two special low-fat, low-salt versions for my parents who are on restricted diets so there was some definite thought put into it. But it's not the gifts that make Christmas for me, it's the getting together on Christmas Eve. This year, for the first time in over 40 years we will not be doing the family Christmas on Christmas Eve. We WILL be having the family Christmas at my folks... just not until tomorrow evening after I get off work. And while that is a good thing, it's wasn't enough to keep me from shedding big fat tears tonight... on Christmas Eve... the first one I've ever spent without seeing my parents. I know I'm lucky to still have them here and I'm lucky to get to see them tomorrow. Some day that won't be an option and while I'll only have about 3-4 hours for Christmas visiting tomorrow (back to work the next day for me) I will make the most of it. But I'm still shedding tears over missing Christmas Eve, much to Rob's dismay. Sorry Rob, even though I know it's silly, I can't seem to turn them off.