DEATH...AND ITCHES

Ok...the death part first.I examined Theo today and discovered the animal planet equivalent of those disturbing army ant documentaries,only it was...yes you guessed it,republica...I mean fleas.
So I gave him a bath.Well, you couldn't really call it a bath cause his hips are so fucked up I can't put him in the tub as he would surely panic and bite me...and there is nothing wrong with his teeth and formidable jawline.
So we lashed him to a post out front and gave him a hose bath.Sounds medieval dunnit??? Big fun.Theo is sensitive to certain noises...hissing,spraying,raspberry noises.Well the hose hissed and sprayed and the shampoo bottle made fart noises,a veritable trifecta of freak out for the old man.Once the lathering began he was cool with it.But when it came time for the rinse,he took the biggest dump I've ever seen and tried to pull the post out of the ground,with his neck/collar/leash.Yet he did not bite me...growl and grunt like we always do,but no teeth,thanks dude!
But the toweling dry was a doggie orgasm for him and he was right as rain.
After copious treats, he began his nightly bark for supper,as he had eliminated everything from his system earlier,which I'm sure was an embarrassment for him,as he is very much like that guy in dead presidents(Dembrozio?Christopher from the sopranos) who doesn't like to shit with someone watching him. In the movie,it cost him his life...Theo was merely canine embarrassed.
But now he is flea free...for 4 hours tops...but 4 hours of bliss.
Between the baths and the spraying of the domicile we should defeat them in a week or so.
Hopefully we'll all get a good nights sleep.