Tuesday, February 03, 2009


But before I get into that...I woke up Monday morning feeling horrible.I went to work but bailed at 9am and came home.And slept...all day and stayed in bed all night with the dogs and the TV.
As I've said before , I'm like an injured dog when I'm sick.I just want to lay in my mud hole alone and unmolested until I recover or die. As much as this perplexed Annabelle in our early years , it has become a comfortable routine...I stay in the cave and Ann checks on me periodically to make sure I'm still breathing ...and growling.
I couldn't figure out what had made me feel so bad , and then tonight as I was looking at the blog it hit me...Greenbelt...billions of particles of cedar pollen and god knows what else flying into my nose and lungs...Bingo.
On to that impending adventure.
It's looking bleak for the whole crew at my current job.There are no projects in the works for this contractor and the books at the hall are crowded with names waiting for work.Things usually pick up in the spring , but with this mess we are spiraling down into who even knows about that?
It's clear that our government has no clue what to do and the beneficiaries of our tax dollars in the form of bailouts are telling us to fuck off when we ask where that money went.Dire I tell you...DIRE. The greed and evil and stupidity of these motherfuckers makes me so angry I want to take up arms. But that's not an option for me. I can't afford to travel to Wall Street.
So the bottom line for me and the rest of the crew is a lay off...which means signing the books and filing for unemployment ( however much longer those funds will last ). I have been offered a furlough ( the only difference being I do not separate from this contractor and sit at home with my fingers crossed ) being the loyal guy I am , I opted for this option in the short term ). I can still file for benefits as well.
But there is a 2 week lag in the arrival of said benefits.
So I will take my furlough , and apply for benefits and my part of the adventure will begin.
I will get up everyday as if I were going to work and begin inventorying the huge stockpile of audio/stereo/studio equipment I have in the den...stored and not used in at least 5 years...there are also boxes and boxes of long forgotten knick knacks and wiggee goos back there.I will place an ad on Craigs list.I will place signs around the neighborhood and I will hold the mother of all yard sales.
This will help hold us over until the benefits kick in ( or my contractor gets work...a scenario I much prefer ). I'm not going to worry about the now "non essential" bills...I will feel bad about this for some of them, but fuck any government related debt...local,state or federal...they helped put us here through their mismanagement of our money so they can suck on it until we get back on our feet.
I will continue to produce and record music and put it out there. I am quite prolific when I'm under emotional stress.( Skill set 3 ).
I will contact people for handyman services ( skill set 1 ).
I will not under any circumstance revert back to skill set 2...I would rather be shitting in a box in the woods and diving in dumpsters for my meals before I would ever re enter the field of mental health. And they probably wouldn't have me anyway.
I was good at what I did , but the rules have changed and my notion of reality when it comes to mental health is very different from what is considered common practice today...it's not so much the theory that has suffered here , but the execution.The system has been hobbled by a PC notion that is misguided and geared toward coddling people who - the last thing they need is coddling.
I believe Cheney made a comment some years ago about Ebay being an option for struggling families...how much more of a fuck you did we need as the middle class (the what???).
I predict a similar fate for a lot of you in the near future...I don't wish it on you to be sure...
But it's coming and you best get ready to punt. I can feel it in my bones.

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