A couple of months ago I borrowed my friends lawn mower to mow my front yard. Being that he's been paying some guys to mow his since then, there was no big hurry to return it.
So...every day for the last couple of months, I get home, I unlock the burglar bars, open the patio door, let the dogs out and look at Rusty's lawn mower. I say to myself "Self...you really need to return that mower to Rusty."
Until today. The mower was gone...So today it was "Self...it looks like you gotta buy Rusty a new lawn mower...FUCK!!!"
I was all set to put the blame on these knuckleheaded brothers that have lived in this hood all thier lives. Between stints in jail for various knuckleheaded shit, they eek out a living doing yard work.
Most recently in my backyard. They are prime suspects. I'll be doing some recon at thier house tomorrow. You try to be nice...
When Ann got home, she told me that our neighborhood association news group had been posting recently about similar thefts, in fact, our neighbor across the street had his mower stolen in the past few months.
A home owner interrupted a theft, and the perps pretended they were delivering a pizza and got the wrong address and hauled ass. They were young and black. The knuckleheads referred to earlier are early 40's and hispanic/sorta.
So...I'm 75% sure it was the knuckleheads, 25% on some punks from the projects about a mile and a half away. I'll figure it out soon enough. But first I have to buy a lawn mower.
Did I mention the highest sin on my list is this kind of shit? Did I mention I have guns? And I'm not shy about discharging them in city limits?
Yeah...
I thought so.
If you gotta steal...for christs sake, do it in westlake fucking hills...those people won't fuck you up, they just call the bank.
How many times do I have to say Robin Hood?
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