THE DAY OF THE DOG, IN THE YEAR OF THE DOG

That's what today was...for real, look it up if you want to. For me it was an interesting day...one that started when the worst heartburn I've had in a long long time woke me up around 4:30 in the morning. My Rolaids were nowhere to be found, so I took a zantac and sat down at this lap top and rode it out. Around 5:30 I tried to go back to bed, but Theo had licked a wet spot on my pillow and the head of my side of the bed...avoiding the wet spot, made by a DOG...how lame is that? Plus he insisted on snuggling with me, which amounts to sharing his fleas with me.
They were diving off his forehead onto my torso in a most disagreeable way, so i just got the fuck up and watched videos on POE tv and you tube. It was entertaining and irritating all at once...I did not know at 5:30 this morning that it was not only the day of the dog, but the year of the dog. A double whammy.
It was also my grandson's birthday...his first one.
We knew what we wanted to get for him,so I set out for the stores around 11am, only to discover thet the local stores I wanted to shop at didn't open till noon. So I got lunch to go and brought it home ...Baby cheeseburgers and fries and onion rings from Fran's. After sharing my meal with Theo and Irene, I set out to buy inappropiate shirts for babies...shhirts thhat had misfits logos and said things like " I'm proof my mommy like's to fuck"...every store I went to was out of stock. Next week they said...I did get a cool one...a black T with a ramones looking guitar player rocking out behind a stack that read "Back in Black". Ann picked out some cool toys and I hooked a cool clock plush toy out of one of those vending machines with the crane hook dealio in about 3 seconds.
Seriously, I said " I want that clock" and the guy playing on the machine next to me said " Them hooks is weak today for some reason...good luck". 3 seconds later I'm pulling the clock out of the prize bin and he's giving me the stink eye.
So far...so good. Hey, after all, it's the day of the dog in the year of the dog. What could go wrong?