Here awhile back, a friend of mine was arrested for DWI. Part of the bond was to go to AA meetings 4 times a week, and in a show of support I've been going to these meetings with him. Now he's court ordered to do this, I could sit in the truck for an hour if I wanted to, but he's my friend and he's apprehensive...I used to go to these meetings regularly when I was a social worker back in the day...he knows this,so I am a source of support and comfort for my friend.
The meetings have all been open discussion with a focus on the steps and traditions, so everybody shares. When it's been my turn I have been saying this: "I'm Rob and I don't know what I am. I'm here to support my friend." Then my friend talks about being court ordered to attend and thanks me for supporting him and he's just trying to get a handle on what's going on. and we move on.
He's doing it because he has to. I went with him the first time only to back him up...but then my mind started talking to me.
Anyone who reads this blog knows that I am party people...I drink a lot...sometimes a whole lot. I can't relate to the stories of chaos I hear at these meetings because I stay home and get stupid...if anything bad is going to happen, it's going to happen at home. I'm safe, right?
Well, I might be safe from the long arm of the law, but I'm not safe from the long arm of addiction.
I know I'm unhappy with my life, I know I've been drinking too much for years. I know that the voices I've been hearing at these meetings speak to me on some level that I never experienced the whole time I was in the biz.
I'm not ready to admit it, but I'm looking forward to that noon meeting on thursday.
These guys stories can curl your hair...mine will burn it right off your fucking head.
I fell into this. Maybe for a reason.
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