SECOND VERSE...

I watched last nights debate, and while it's fair to say that both candidates were more forceful with each other regarding the issues, it's still a load of crap. The town hall setting was populated by "soft" supporters of both, i.e; not a strong opinion either way (like a room full of happy day's Richie Cunningham and his mom with a smattering of Edith Bunker). The questions were pre-determined and screened. What kind of debate is that? Not much, if you ask me.
If you go to CNN.com and look at the fact checker link, you'll see that both Bunnypants and Kerry "misrepresented facts" (lied) to further their respective points on alot of things. In particular, Kerry said the cost of the war is 200 billion so far. The truth is (according to CNN) is 120 billion, not counting the 80 billion earmarked and approved on oct.1 but not spent yet. Well, lets see...120 plus 80 commited = 200. Wow...I guess it all boils down to what "cost' means. There's more to scratch your head over at this link if you're so inclined.
If I was on the debate commission (ha!haha!!) I would have gone with the unexplainable continued popularity of reality TV and fashioned the debates like a kind of survivor/fear factor format. There would be an obstacle course with a variety of stations modeled after the issues that face us everyday americans...
STATION ONE: The economy.
Each candidate would have to file for unemployment using the phone system, then contact creditors and mortgage companies and utilities and try to figure out how to keep the car the house and the power on, all on $330.00 a week. Then, put together a grocery list that would feed a family of 4 until the next check arrives with the $45.00 left over.
Then speak for 2 minutes about the economy.
STATION TWO: Health care.
Each candidate would face two challenges.
ONE: You have high blood pressure, since you are unemployed, you have no medical benefits...your medication costs $150.00 a month...what do you do?
TWO: You have found a job in the "bustling" bush economy, only it pays 1/3 of what you used to make at your old Clinton era job. You have benefits, but it only reduces the cost of your medication by $35.00.Plus your deductible is $2500.00 before benefits kick in.While struggling with this, you learn at a routine doctor visit that your blood work results are "troubling" and could indicate type II diabetes, he recommends a test to rule it out, but you have to go to an outside lab, which your benefit plan does not cover. It will cost $400.00. But, you have a job now (that pays $395.00 a week...a whopping $65.00 more than your unemployment).What do you do?
Then speak for 2 minutes on health care.
STATION THREE: The fear factor.
Each candidate must eat a bowl of rancid chicken covered in maggots and drink a tumbler full of yak bile...in 2 minutes.
No need to speak...just don't vomit for 5 minutes and move on to:
STATION FOUR: The war on terror.
Each candidate would lose a family member to each of the following:
A car bomb.
A beheading...with all the media coverage and demands by the captors etc. etc. plus a commemorative video plastered all over the internet.
A court martial for torturing POWs.
A suicide.
Then speak for 2 minutes about the validity of the war on terror.
A panel of 70's game show hosts and Slappy White would preside over the final lightning round, where the candidates would have to indentify a variety of common household items flashed on a screen...like food stamps and government cheese and generic beer.
Donald Trump would decide the winner.
That's a debate I'd like to see.

[Listening to: Ace of Spades - Motörhead - No Sleep 'Til Hammersmith (Bonus Tracks) (3:01)]