Friday, May 12, 2006

I DODGED A BULLET

My phone service is not provided by those asshole companies that contracted with bushco to "mine data". Bunnypants will never know about the heated discussions I had with Austin Energy
about my utility bill that was so exhorbitant that it took me six months to catch up. He'll never know about the collection calls, the automated calls in spanish that were undoubtly pushing the immigrant agenda, or, alternately, latino fabreeze, which is just like american fabreeze only with more cilantro essence.
He'll never know that all those calls from the 217 area code ( how did they get my number anyway???) were dumped. He'll never know the status of my grandson Sean's testicular situation. he won't hear the conversation with my friend Joel extolling the virtues of those Grand Funk CD's I burned for him back in the day.
He'll never hear me berating those automated calls ( in spanish ) with timeless witticisms like "what the fuck do you want you fucking beaner????!!!Fuck you estoban!"
He missed out on a wealth of information about my activity because I subscribe to xxxxxxx...but you already know that. Do you think I'm that stupid? Everything up to this point has been super encrypted super secret in regard to my phone usage until I found the bug.
I FOUND THE BUG!!!! You can't hurt me now because I have reversed everything and re routed all my calls through AT&T so all you will hear is that seriously fucked up busy signal sound while I order that worst president ever T shirt from BartCop.
If you want to come to my house and fuck with me, bring it on...just like you said awhile back. And look what happened.
But this is all conjecture, since I got another phone service that didn't break the law...I've got a higher calling too, and it's higher than yours.

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