Better
I'm doing better and this won't surprise anyone that knows me well. I'm naturally optimistic and while circumstances might get me down for a bit, I always manage to bounce back up at some point. And well, if I had to choose a theme song for my life, I suppose it would be Jerry Jeff Walker's "Gettin' By".

THE ORAL HISTORY OF THE ARMADILLO

Lauren and I did our interview at KUT this evening for the oral history of the armadillo project. You go in with a list (we each had one) but you deviate. and we were there for almost 3 hours.It was an amazing experience...to relive the past, telling stories that will be archived into the library of congress about getting high and drinking and music and hippies and the love that surrounded that place at 525 1/2 Barton springs road.
We didn't cover it all...we barely scratched the surface and they have invited us back for more.Nick (the interviewer) wants to interview me and Billy boy together...that will be a hoot...I'm sure we will trigger many more memories talking together.
It was a very special place and time and I am proud and honored to be able to be a part of this thing.
And just the fact that the 'dillo is getting it's due is enough.
We made history...back in the day and tonight.
Can't wait to call Bill tomorrow and set it up...we have endless stories to tell.
Once upon a time there was this magical place called the Armadillo World Headquarters...yes :)

Sucks to be me right now
That's all I've got to say. But I'm guessing I'll feel better in the morning.

New Year's Resolution

One of my wishes, for as long as I can remember, is to always have fresh cut flowers in the house. I've never followed up on the "always" part, even though it's a pretty simple wish to fulfill. I've always considered flowers to be one of those "unnecessary" expenses and usually will not buy them unless I'm feeling extremely prosperous (which doesn't happen very often.) Rob brings me flowers from time to time and I leave those in the vase long after they've dried up because I consider dried flowers to be better than no flowers.

I've decided to change that this year, thanks in part to a friend of ours that gave me a beautiful vase that is perfect for the inexpensive five stem bouquets that I can get at the grocery store. The right choice of flowers could last a week and that comes out to not so much money a month. And of course, I can even grow my own in the spring and fall and maybe fill up a big vase.

Dad update
My dad made it through the surgery okay and is back home. There is some additional risk over the next three days, but we are expecting things to go well. He's quite the survivor!

Brrr
I don't like cold weather unless I have a roaring fire in a fireplace and a warm house. I have neither so I am quite ready to be done with this little cold snap we've had around here these last few days. I need to either move some place where the temperature never goes below 40 degrees or acquire the money needed to buy the fake logs for our gas fireplace that we've never purchased. Acquiring the money would probably be easier than moving, but the problem is that takes time and by the time I have the money for the logs, it's 100 degrees outside again and the fireplace is the last thing on my mind. Besides, it seems silly to spend $500 on something I will only use three times a year. So instead, I'll just add that to the list of things I will buy when I win the lottery and for now go get back under the covers and daydream about a warm, sunny beach somewhere. Except this time, without the killer jellyfish that were in my dream the other night. Seriously, I gotta wonder where the hell that came from. I mean, who dreams about killer jellyfish?

A Choice
My dad had a choice; have surgery to possibly save his eyesight and risk death from the surgery or avoid surgery and definitely live longer, but go completely blind in another month or two. The eye surgery, while not particularly risky for most people, is very high risk for him due to other health conditions, but he's made his decision and goes under the knife on Monday. This isn't his first risky surgery. He had only a 20% chance of surviving the surgery on his aortic aneurysm. He had less than that on his heart valve replacement. Let's hope he keeps beating the odds.

HURRY UP AND WAIT

I got my bloodwork results back today...sort of.They are inconclusive in regards to my foot drop , but they do want to talk to me about my cholesterol.Big surprise there haha.
What started in my right foot has now migrated to include my left.And while it is not as severe as it was , it is still very unsettling.To be this ungainly prevents me from working...as long as it's a smooth relatively straight shot I can manage ok. But throw in some obstacles or ledges or the need to climb , forget it.Stairs are a challenge. I've got an appointment with a neurologist on the 25th , so we'll see.

200 bottles of beer on the wall...
I met a friend of mine at The Flying Saucer last night to do some knitting over a few beers. Well, turns out we didn't actually do any knitting since there was too much other activity going on that caught our attention, but I did have the few beers. I had never been to The Flying Saucer which is in a shopping development called The Triangle and I'd never been to any place there either. The little bit of street parking seemed crazy, but then I found the parking garage and it wasn't too much of a walk to the pub. I got there early and she got there late so that gave me time to investigate something called the UFO club. You fill out a form, they give you a card that then tracks all the different beers you drink there. Once you've drank 200 different beers, you get a plate with your name on it placed on the wall. How could I resist? I love beer; I love trying different beers and I've always been mystified why I like one kind of beer, but not another. Apparently there's enough information in this place to help me figure it out because I told the waitress what I like in a beer and just from my crude description, 'cause I don't know all the proper terms and stuff, she served me what was one of the best beers I've ever tasted. You can only get club credit for three beers per night so that eliminated any plans to knock out six of them in one night. And as it was, I was driving so I only drank two; three and I would have had to stay there drinking water much later than I wanted before heading home.

I had a great time and in an odd coincidence, ran into some of my favorite folks from where I used to work. I also got a movie trivia question right that no one else in the group got which is a friggin' miracle because I don't know squat about movies/directors/actors. I don't know when I might get up that way again, but I'm hoping my club membership and a chance at immortality (the plate on the wall) might be enough incentive to get me back up there on a regular basis. Not to mention the act of drinking 200 beers :)

Stamina
Back when I first started this job, my boss told me it takes a while to build up stamina. And there was a time when I couldn't imagine being able to do this job for eight hours in a one day, but today I discovered that I can, in fact, pull that off now. Oh sure, my feet hurt, my left shoulder is sore and my left hand is, well, hurting every much as it was this morning, but that's from my arthritis - cold front came in tonight and I guess my hand was just letting me know this morning that one was on the way. Anyway, I have 90% of this week's tasks completed despite the equipment issues thanks to the eight hour day and that makes me very happy. I have a few things to wrap up tomorrow, but if this had been a normal week I would have been completely done today. It appears that my dreams of a three day work week have been realized. Now I just need those three days to generate enough income to pay all the bills. Heh, one thing at a time, I suppose.

A bad day at this job is better than a good day at the old one
Actually, lets make that a couple of days since the problems started yesterday. I had extra stores this week because one of my co-workers is on vacation. Yesterday, I had just started one of those extra stores when my scanner died. I called my boss around 3pm and let her know and she somehow managed to get me a new scanner via UPS at 10:30 am today. I was impressed. Now on a normal week, this would have been plenty of time to get everything done, but naturally my scanner had to die on on not-so-normal week. In addition to the extra stores, I have a special project due in my huge grocery store and even if I had started at 8 am this morning, I wouldn't have finished by 5pm. As it was, due to problems with the replacement equipment, I didn't get to my gigantic grocery store until 1pm. I did as much as I could and finally threw in the towel at 7pm. The interesting thing about this situation is that this is as bad as it gets with this job. And I am so totally cool with that.

COMPLETE SENTENCES

I have not spoken in them in months
Facey kind of dumbs you down
well that's not fair...but it accelerates thought and interaction.
maybe a better way to describe it is it numbs you down
But I have this health issue going on recently.
And I am very afraid.
That's not something I am used to . I have always been the strong one...you can't knock me down.
but I have been knocked the fuck down.
I have lost the feeling in my right leg and it just doesn't work right anymore
a very frightening experience.
it could be the result of injury , which I have had.or it could be the result of a stroke, or I could be developing MS.
these are all things to be sorted out but I have to tell you I am terrified.
I have labs tomorrow and an MRI on thursday.
and a giant hole in my heart.

New Year's Resolution

I am considering getting one of these for my 50th birthday in 2011 (there is more to idea than just the old joke about a red sports car.) Obtaining such a vehicle is going to be quite the challenge. I have no credit and even if I did have outstanding credit, I certainly don't have the income to support the car payment. But who knows what might happen over the next 21 months? I could win the lotto. I could win a contest giving away a red BMW. I could land a high-paying job. Some one might even just give me one. Come on now, it could happen. Odd as it sounds, there are true stories about people being handed the keys and title to a vehicle from complete strangers.

Truth is, I have absolutely no idea where I might be standing in September of 2011 and to look at something I want and say, "Oh, there's no way I could ever have that!" is stupid. Stupid, but it's something I do on a very regular basis, and not just about red BMWs. So my New Year's resolution for 2010 is to at least consider the possibility that I could have a red BMW for my 50th birthday and get comfortable enough with the idea that I get up the nerve to go to the dealer here in town and look at one, maybe even sit in it. And if I find that I really do like the car, work up the nerve to test drive one. Sounds simple enough, but when one's head is as screwed up as mine is right now, it's much harder than it looks. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Xmas in Texmas
Cold today on Christmas Eve with big gusty winds. You just never know around here what the weather is going to be like this time of year. There are pictures of me as a kid washing and waxing my father's car on Christmas Day (my Xmas present to him) in shorts and a t-shirt because sometimes it's quite warm. But we are just as likely to have cold and nasty weather. Sometimes sleet, but never snow - at least not in all the years I've lived here. It did snow on Thanksgiving weekend one year when I was in high school and we all had high hopes for a white Christmas that year, but it didn't happen.

This year we had the usual Christmas Eve get-together with my folks, brother and his kids. The traditional dinner has changed up a bit - used to be just ham, but now there's brisket as well. Come to think of it, there's been brisket at both Christmas and Thanksgiving for quite a few years now. It's a fitting addition, not just because we live in Texas, but there's a family tradition of brisket cooked up by my uncles for the big extended family get-togethers that we no longer do over the holidays.

Now that we are all so much older, I've become the aunt and my niece and nephews have become the new extended family. In fact, we have a hard time all fitting in my parent's living room for the present unwrapping. As always, it's just a few simple gifts for each person; never been nothing fancy and certainly has never been about spending a lot of money. Just a bit of fun. No drama, no fighting, just good food and good fellowship. How it should be, I think.

P.S. Every year my mom gives me the best Christmas present ever - a batch of my favorite cookies that only she can make. And I know eventually there is going to be a Christmas when I do not get those cookies which makes them all the more precious. Warren Zevon once said, "Enjoy every sandwich." I plan to enjoy every cookie.

Learning to knit
The other day my friend Suzanne asked me if I wanted to learn how to knit and I said, "Sure!" and I am now making one hell of an ugly scarf. But I figure it's a lot like learning handwriting and I'll be the first to admit that my handwriting was absolutely horrible when I was in first grade. In fact, I spent many an afternoon staying late after school while my first grade teacher made me work on improving it. I'm pretty sure that teacher is, in part, responsible for my perfectionist tendancies, but anyway, back to the knitting. I spent a couple hours last night and this morning knitting a few rows, then unraveling it all and starting over before I finally decided that I was just going to trudge onward with it, mistakes and all. There are stitches that are too tight and stitches that are too loose and dropped stitches and stitches that aren't a knit stitch at all, but some sort of stitch that I have no idea what it was and a few odd loops here and there, but what the hell. This is, after all, not about creating a masterpiece, but just a chance to learn something new and have a bit of fun while I'm doing it.

Auto repairs
I had a headlight burn out on the Rodeo the other day so yesterday I stopped by AutoZone to pick up a new light and while I was there I had them do a check engine light test to see what was up with that. The check engine light being on is the biggest obstacle at the moment to getting the vehicle inspected and I may be in luck on this one because the error code indicates that the problem is restricted flow in the EGR system. I might be able to fix that by just cleaning the EGR valve and manifold passage so, weather permitting, that's what I'll be doing this weekend. Keep your fingers crossed because a new valve is about $150 and I'd much rather fix it for the cost of a can of O2 sensor safe carburetor cleaner, a skinned knuckle or two and some cussing. Because based on my experience of replacing something as simple as a headlight, I can guarantee there will be at least one skinned knuckle and a lot of cussing.

THE DILLO BULLET LIST

...fort hood enginners
...Bandidos
...Bambi
...Sally
...Officer malone
...The deaf school experience
...Commander Cody
...The Runaways
...AC/DC
...Thin Lizzy
...The Ramones
...The parking lot
more to come

Cardboard cuts (aka paper cuts) galore
My fingers these days remind me of me days working in Human Resources when filing, filing, filing was a major part of the daily routine. Not that I've been filing paper these days, but I have been picking up a lot of packages of gum out of their little cardboard boxes. You know, the cardboard boxes that hold the gum packets in place on the racks next to the checkout isle. And it's inevitable that I'm going to nick my fingers and cuticles on those cardboard edges from time to time. And if you multiply from time to time by the thousands of gum packets I've scanned this week then you end up with fingers ever bit as nicked as they were when I used to file reams of paper every week in 500 employee's file folders, also made of cardboard.

No real point to this post other than I was reminded of something I hadn't thought about in about 15 years. If someone had asked me last week what I remembered about working Human Resources, well, nicked fingers and cuticles would not have been part of the answer.

THE DILLO

Public radio (NPR / KUT) is doing a project...the oral history of the Armadillo world headquarters.
My best friend and drummer has already done his , and my dear friend Lauren has been riding me like a bicycle to do it.
It will end up in the library of congress...so it's kind of a big deal. Anyway , Lauren got this big idea that we should interview together...so we are.
I practically grew up there...first live show at 12 years old and the rest is history.
And as I anticipate this interview the memories are flooding in...there are so many.
onward to make a kind of history.

Things are still a bit topsy-turvey here at Depthmaker so I expect posting might continue to be infrequent for a while longer. Then again, I'm feeling a lot more chatty today than I have in a long time...

Had my first annoyance at this new job - I keep getting trained on Thursday to do things that are due on Friday which means I have to revisit all the stores I went to earlier in the week. It makes Fridays really suck. Temporary annoyance though since once I'm trained on how to do a certain project, the next time it comes up then I can start it on Monday like it should be done. And, now that I think about it, it's probably not a bad idea to have to repeat a task several times within 48 hours of training. I hate all the running around on Friday though; waste of gasoline.

Saw a bumper sticker today that I really liked:
"KEEP YOUR THEOCRACY OFF MY DEMOCRACY"

The Tempo died on Friday. Couldn't get it going and decided to throw money at the Rodeo instead of the Tempo since the Rodeo doesn't have a major radiator leak, has windows that roll down and doors that lock, a decent stereo AND air conditioning (not that I need that right now, but in a few months....) It does have a broken tail light, a broken driver's side mirror and who knows why the check engine light is on, but I figure it's the better investment at this time. That check engine light has me nervous though... let's hope it's something simple and cheap.

A couple of folks have asked me about the demise of the ClubSpit website. It had been hosted by Geocities for way over 10 years, but Geocities shut down this October. We no longer do the monthly parties or the quarterly parties and I had let the domain name go a while back so I saw no reason to move it elsewhere.