Soon to be Employed
I got a job offer. It's part-time and low pay but there are some really cool things about it provided the information I received during the interviews was accurate. Tentative start date is next Thursday for training.

I've had plenty of jobs where what I was told in the interview wasn't quite what I ended up actually doing so I'll save the job description for later after I've spent some time working. But I can tell you that it definitely does not involve spending any time on the phone or sitting behind a desk.