THE LIFE...SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE

I went to work for the state of Texas shortly after my eighteenth birthday, had I stayed in the employ of the state, I would be retiring (less than 5 years from now) before I was fifty with a retirement income of upwards to 2500.00 a month and plenty of time to get another job, or even maybe another career.
I didn't do that.
Instead, I moved to Colorado with my then wife, and a couple of years later I was divorced and back in Texas, went back to work for the state for seven months and left...again, the lure of the rocky mountains was too much to resist. But, alas, that didn't work out. So I came back to Texas, hat in hand.
After a brief time in go nowhere jobs and part time schooling, I landed at a company where I spent almost fourteen years climbing the ladder, only to be kicked off of it in the end.
Things were changing during those years and I was so busy climbing I didn't notice the changes that were occuring before my blinder equipped eyes.
I was raised with the kind of work ethic that should have kept me in that first state job for my life, but I was also a product of a restless social ethic, change on the one end, radical on the other. I was the human equivilent of pong on this one, bouncing to and fro from traditional values to radical activist. Conflicted. Very conflicted.
Fifteen years ago, life was still full of options. Social worker, artist, musician, administrator...the sky was the limit.
I had the energy and the means to do anything I wanted back then, I had the time and I took it.
Social worker...If you want a fast track to hating kids and thier parents and the health care system and the judicial system in this country, jump on this one. I once thought this would be my lifes work, but my lifes work bled it out of me, slowly and painfully from both ends. All I have to show for this time are some stories that freak people out and this unrealized dream of changing the world.
Artist...I was once a prolific cartoonist, but I lost my steam. I can't remember the last time I drew something. My social worker experience beat it out of me I guess. I was at least able to pass the passion on to my son and my "niece", so that's something. I've been talking about doing some paper mache masks recently, but that's just talk at this point...we'll see what happens with that.
Musician...I was in this band, and I was in my thirties. We had some incredible songs. I used the aformentioned means to finance the band and it's aspirations. We would be rock stars, critics darlings, blah blah blah. I still think about the night we blew the roof off of trophys club...it was perfect. A large crowd littered with our friends witnessing the power of our band, the applause, the appreciation.I'm standing on that stage with three people I love, peering out from under my cap burning my guitar work and lyrics into the crowd...I was a rock star that night. It was awesome. And it fell apart shortly after that. Just as we were hitting the peak, suddenly it wasn't fun anymore. And without a fight or a rational word, we just kind of collectively gave it up. Our friend BW issued a challenge to me to start writing again and to post the song here. I've been trying to write a song about something I care about. I haven't had much luck with that, so I've started focusing my attention to someone I care about and hopefully I'll spit something out soon. After all, I promised.
Administrator... Of what? I can barely manage my own life. There was once a time when I managed teams in concerted efforts with great success. Not anymore.
Passion. I have no real passion. It has somehow escaped me.
Now, before you shrug this off as a giant pity party...it does sound like one, but it's not. I have misplaced my passion, the leprechans in my house have hidden it from me. But I am searching for it.
I am relating a scenario shared by millions in this country, millions of people beaten down by prevailing political and social winds, some in thier control, others not.
I still have alot to be thankful for...I have a woman who loves me, my best friend. I have a job with some promise and a roof over my head. Ann will always be there, the other stuff I'm not so sure about.
And I remain conflicted...but that's life, right?

Vacation?
I will have been at this job for one year on Nov. 1st. That means will I have a week of vacation time available after that day. I've already put in for the time off. If it's approved then I will be taking my first paid vacation since Rob and I took two weeks off for our honeymoon over 11 years ago. Since then I've always had jobs where I could never take any time off, even when I had vacation time accrued. And sure, I've had breaks from work when I was unemployed, but that is most definitely not the same as a PAID vacation. After a year of working at a job that provides no holidays at all, you can bet that I'm pretty excited about the prospect of an entire week off.

I FORGOT ABOUT SUNDAY

Sunday Ann and I went out to my foremans place to look at a car, a late model oldsmobile that they want to get rid of. The common belief is the catalytic converter is bad. A simple enough fix, plus the car is free. They just want it off the property. Good for them, good for us. A coworker of mine from Hines was there with his daughter as well (small world,eh?), a nice bonus. It was good to see them, we're better friends than I thought, he's not the most demonstrative person, but the vibe was still there.
There was much drinking of beer and shots of Jager. And a meal at this mexican restaurant that rocked.
Then it was back to the house to mess with the car. We got it started a few times, but it wouldn't budge when put in gear, so we finally pushed it out of the field (weeds 6 feet high) to the front of the house. Several beers and shots later, we headed home.
Ann, being the temperant one, drove us home to Austin. On the way I blasted sabbath bloody sabbath, drunk on...socializing. It occurred to me that we had not done anything like this in months. We had a fabulous time, had some fabulous food and company and generally had a good time. I even scratched some tickets...booyah! :)
On the way home, once we were in Austin, we stopped at several convience stores for orange juice...none of which had any (?!?!) WTF!? So I ended up with country time lemonade and three reeses mini cups I pocketed when the cashier wasn't looking ( I told you , we had some drinks ).
I fell asleep on the couch ( passed out ) blaring The counting crows goodnight elizabeth and a long december over and over before 10...a good nights sleep = no hang over, and based on the beer, jager, vodka trifecta, I should of been dying.
Score!

LIFE IS STRANGE...OR, WHAT A WEEKEND

That really started around Thursday of last week. My sons baby blog is gone, replaced by a darker, more sinister version of the original. Cryptic statements abound, plus the ongoing war between him and a former friend ( who my son is convinced is my beloved anonymous...could be, who knows? It's still fun. ) getting uglier and uglier. Gloom and doom on the horizon. Lack of employment...eviction. I spare the details to maintain privacy...for Kyle and his family. That's right, he has one of those now...at 20 years old, the reality of which I think has fucked with his head some. Suffice to say it wasn't good and I was concerned.
Concerned enough to call my ex...his mom,to reach out and join up forces to go down to his place unannounced on saturday and suss out just exactly what the hell was going on, and to do something together, as his parents. Of the concerned variety. Needless to say, he was stunned to see us together.
Now,regular readers of depthmarker have read things I've written about Kyle's mom and me...In that writing, I've tried to paint an unbiased picture of what happened. I may or may not have been successful in that endeavor, time has a way of clouding things. It went south, I did my stupid shit, she did hers...but the bottom line was and is we love our son, and he spent more than a few years splitting us off from each other ( you know I'm right kid :) ) but that doesn't matter anymore. It's a different scenario.
When you get right down to it, we came together to try to help our son, we are the reason he's here, we are obligated...out of love and devotion and all that other stuff.
So we lined up together and went in as a team.
And a funny thing happened on the way. We had some windshield time, aside from coming up with a plan for this visit, we had a chance to make some small talk, and through that small talk I remembered some of the things that attracted me to her in the first place. Not the romantic lovey shit, but the core person shit. A woman of conviction
and a skilled educator, banging away as a teacher all these years, plying her craft. I had a chance to study the lines in her face, a roadmap of what she's been through in these years since we were last together, and they told a tale of loss and remorse and grief and pain, and hard work. Just like me. And some joy...I'd like to think there was some of that for her too. I've had some.
It was a chance to make some peace, and help our son and his family.
I hope we pulled it off.
No matter what else happens in my circle between now and when I check out, I want my son to be happy, and successful and fufilled.

FLYING LADDER

This afternoon after work, me and Rusty ( my journeyman ) were heading out to the lake to help an electrician friend out on some electrical stuff. The road to the lake is windy and hilly, and unfortunately loaded with traffic because it's a popular place to live. It wasn't always like that, but that's another post. Anyway, we're on this downhill "S" curve right before a major intersection ( RR2222 & 360 for you local readers ) by The county line on the lake, when this service truck coming in the opposite direction ejected a 6 foot ladder from its rack right in front of us. It skipped into the outside lane (we were in the inside) and this toyota truck in that lane locked up his brakes in front of us as the ladder passed under his truck spitting it back across the lanes, and he spun around sideways into our lane no more that 15 feet in front of me, he had wheels in the air and looked liked he might flip over.Here I am in a 3/4 ton service truck going 55mph down a S shaped hill with a 30 degree grade trying to dodge a small truck. He managed to correct after skidding in and out of our lane a couple of more times and roll to a stop on the right of way, and I managed not to hit him. It was a close call...it freaked me out. I said something along the lines of "that was fucking intense, huh"?
And Rusty looked up from his paperwork and said " You wanna turn around and go get that ladder"?
Dammit...and I thought I had nerves of steel.

Baby needs a new pair of shoes
It's mid-October which means there's a chance we'll get our first blast of cold air in the next couple of weeks. Or not, depending on the nature's mood. But when it does happen, it will be time to retire my trusty pair of sandals for something a bit warmer. The problem is I hate wearing shoes. It drives me crazy to have my feet encased in something for 9 hours a day. As a kid, I dealt with this by wearing moccasins. In high school I switched to tennis shoes, but I never liked them much. After I started working in an office I had to settle for sensible pumps which I survived wearing by kicking them off my feet any time I was sitting at my desk. My current job has a very lax dress code which means I could try my hand, er foot, at moccasins again. But since I'm now prone to kick off my shoes when seated at my desk (despite the company email forbidding such practices) I'm undecided about which make and model of moccasins to buy from the huge selection available on the internet. And given the prices, I'm reluctant to buy something I can't try on first, but under no circumstances will I drive around Austin shopping for a pair. So I may just go with the next best thing - houseshoes!

MOURNING NEW ORLEANS

While the city begins rebuilding efforts, rumors and accusations fly about it's destiny. I hear the left say Bush and corporate america will turn it into a commercial paradise. Swimming ( no pun intended ) in casinos and million dollar townhouses and condominiums. No bid contracts for the cronies! Is the war cry. I hear Bunnypants say rebuild, and little else. Will NOLA be rebuilt faithful to it's past glory? That will never happen. Will it be a loving approximation of what it once was? I can't tell you and he isn't saying one way or the other, but the repeal of the Davis-Bacon act isn't encouraging.
But rest assured, it will never be the same.
Many of those displaced will not return. The basic element that made it the city it was are gone...dead, in surrounding states starting over, or languishing in shelters.Shelters that are reaching the end themselves, many have given notice to their wards who have no place to go, to go.
So...back to the rebuilding. Who are the laborers doing the hard work? According to NPR, the Houston Chronicle and the LA times, wetbacks, I mean "guest workers". Why aren't these people in the shelters doing the work? Rebuilding their city? Because the "guest workers" are doing it, in fact, if you believe reports, they are flocking to the city to do it and the contractors are snatching them up. Why is this happening? If you believe president Fox of Mexico it's because mexicans are willing to do work "black people won't do", and considering most of the folks from NOLA are black, Fox's foot in mouth comment makes sense.
I don't think that's why, not entirely anyway. Almost all of the "guest workers" I've worked with over the years, or even known, were and are hard working people. Six dollars an hour beats the shit out of the pennies a day they made in mexico and central america...to them it's good money. Even before the repeal of the Davis-Bacon act, contractors have taken advantage of "guest workers" for years,they work harder for less and don't complain, compared to the domestic work force...who generally want more for less, are entitled out the ass (because of how they were raised and the society they were raised in), and complain, and fake injuries, and file lawsuits, and the list goes on and on and on.
I'm not saying its right, but if you were a contractor, who would you rather have doing your grunt work, an illegal alien, that even at time and a half, earns less than that american made unskilled laborer that is practically genetically engineered to believe you owe him ( or her ) something?
So, enough on that soapbox...I'm not saying all american bred unskilled laborers are like that, but there's a reason this phenomenon exists, and I think what I said has a lot to do with it. And greed, lets not forget about that. The contractor that pays less in labor cost sees more in profit. And with these "guest workers" pouring across the border hungry for a piece of the "american dream", why give up a slice when you can pass out crumbs?
Back to New Orleans. When the rebuilding is done, how many of these "guest workers" will stay? Will the population change to a small amount of obscenely rich people and a huge population of latinos? What if it does?
Me and another IJ were opining about this today, and based on our conversations I present:

TOP TEN THINGS DIFFERENT ABOUT NEW ORLEANS IN A GENERATION

10. Crawfish etouffe now crawfish enchiladas
9.Marde Gras replaced with Dia de los Muertos
8.The main float in the parade will be a giant taco
7.Voodoo replaced by Santaria
6.Hurricane replaced by rocks no salt margarita
5.Street mimes replaced by raggedy children and women pushing cheap gum
4.Boudin now called chorizo
3.Rice and beans somehow not the same
2.Tejano bands playing blues and jazz
1.The mardi gras queens face painted up like a skull and she's wearing a giant sombrero, with dingle balls

Bonus: Locals now called "cajucans"

I loved New Orleans...I'll miss her.

The cost of working
It seems odd to me that we are just as broke now as we were when I didn't have a job at all. Now Rob did earn more money back then and things were a bit cheaper, but it still doesn't seem to add up. Or maybe it does. I had the time back then to really manage the money and I suspect there is some waste going on now simply because I haven't the time or the energy to do things like plan a smart grocery list and look for sales. Still, there's no way I could trim, cut back and or save enough to do away with my job completely. But I can follow through with a promise I made to myself months ago which was if I could find a way to save $10 a day, then I could drop down to 36 hours a week instead of 40. I actually did find those savings. I found them months ago, but I've continued to work 40 hours a week or more. The "savings" went elsewhere, not sure exactly where, but I suppose they are helping to pay the electric bill or buying a better cut of meat for dinner. However, given my stress level lately, I've decided it is time to make good on that promise to myself. Starting this week I'm working 36 hours instead of 40. I'm not entirely sure that working four hours less on the phones per week is going to make me a happier and healthier person, but I figure it can't hurt.

IS THAT A DEAD CHICKEN WITH ROPEY PHLEGM OOZING OUT OF IT'S BEAK OR ARE YOU JUST GLAD TO SEE ME?

I'm a bit behind the rush on this one, but I find two things interesting about this. Two events headlined in the papers in as many days. First and foremost, the CDC has reconstructed the spanish flu virus from 1918.
In 1918-1919, the so-called Spanish flu killed some 50 million people -- including 675,000 Americans. Most of the victims were healthy people in the prime of life.It was an avian flu.
Secondly, Bunnypants makes a speech about a potential avian flu pandemic, and rambles on about calling in the military to deal with it.
Anybody ever read The Stand by King? Some yahoo at the CDC dropped a petri dish and wa-laa, end of the world as we know it. Is this life imitating art? Does the GOP read King? Well...that's just crazy, so let's stick to what we know...
We've got these people at the CDC reconstructing a virus that killed millions and a retard president talking about a flu pandemic at the same time.
If anybody drops a petri dish, lets hope they drop it in the oval office.
I'm just sayin'.

Time to Relax
I took the weekend off from both job and housework. I did do a bit of physical labor, pulling weeds and prepping the raised bed for carrots and onions since the weather was about as perfect as you can get for that. But mostly, I just lounged around and soaked up the fall weather. It was nice while it lasted, but it only took one day of work and real life to put me back in stressed out mode. So I'll be working on that a bit this week. Less coffee, more herbal tea. Eight hours of sleep. Maybe some yoga in the mornings and warm baths at night. A maybe a few books from the half-price book store for evening reading to help me get to sleep on time.

BUDDY

It was the first cold snap in October that took him, way back in '92. I can't forget my Buddy. That would be wrong. I love my dogs...Theo, Irene and Sully. But there was only one Buddy...

Still missing you .

SCROLL SAWS AND LOYALTY

I had this scroll saw, it was my dad's. It was a free standing model...craftsman, quite nice,actually. I really had no use for it. Enter this friend of a friend...an artist. I gave him the saw because alot of the stuff he was doing was large scale, plywood related art. The deal was he would make me a turtle end table in exchange for the saw.
That was about two years ago. I knew this guy was busy, so I didn't hassle him about the table. I figured he would get around to it when he had the time.
Come to find out the other day this friend of the friend told the recipient of the saw to not worry about following through with my turtle table. That I would "forget about it".
HUH? and WTF?
I have'nt forgotten...I've been being patient...apparently patient like a jack ass. I have no table because this guy thinks my friend can read my fucking mind.
I want my saw back.
Bitch.

THE DEATH TOLL THING

Why is it that during katrina and after we could never get a death count? Seemed like nobody knew how many perished...but like 5 minutes after this earthquake in pakistan hit we had a fucking blow by blow? That's all I've heard about...how many dead...now it's up to 18000. Funny how these third world countries know how to count bodies and we don't.
You got to wonder about shit like that.

NICKED FROM THAT STUPID ANGRY CANAJUN

This looked like it might be fun....In a pointy,sock full of woodscrews kind of fun. :)


If money were no object, what would you be doing with your life?

Rescuing turtles...smoking lots of kind bud ( because I could get away with it, cause how difficult could it be to rescue them if money was no option? ) and building the greatest collection of vintage guitars known to man. And snubbing the people who blew me off when money was suddenly an "object".


Money is just that - an object, so why aren't you doing it?

Because the economy sucks.

What's better: horses or cows?

Depends on the height of the stool your using, and your ability to dodge kicks.

What do you think the secret to happiness is?

A warm gun.

When was the last time you had a dream that you either remember well or did not want to awake from?

The day before yesterday...it involved oral sex.

When you were a little kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Ice cream soldier from the Sgt. Rock comic books, or...a rock star like Ozzy, until that show on MTV ....Jeez! Oz.... I had your posters on my walls in 73...WTF????

Complete this statement: Love is …

A lifetime commitment, and a bitch, all at the same time, but it's worth it when you finally find the one, and that's where the bitch part comes in...finding the one.

Can you tell a good story? (write one!)

You think? Come on...

Can you remember your last daydream?

Yes...

If you were to thank someone today, who would you thank?

Sly Stone.

Carry on...

:)

DEUCE - DEUCE

Twenty two indictments could come down the pike anytime now against major players in Bunnypants administration. Who could they be? How will they be divvied up?
Will one person get all 22? 11 and 11? 4 fives and a 2? Who knows? But Gawd Damn! Twenty two indictments on the heels of the DeLay indictments...? I'm in heaven.
The events of this past week have served to galvanize my enduring belief that this administration is criminal and corrupt. I could of told you idiots about Bunny when he was still busy fucking up Texas. Not our guy...never was our guy, unless you got the money. A right bastard that one.
Surrounding himself with minions of his daddies administration the second he took office...picking up right where they left off.
And now...it's looking like they might finally pay for the blood on their hands. From before Iran-Contra to the 6 marines killed today for no reason except the greed of these elitist bastards, the reckoning is just around the corner (we hope). And we also hope it's not too late for the real America.
And watch out for that avian flu...Bunny's "final solution".
"Keep your pecker hard and your powder dry"...King, from Platoon.

Time Passages
So this song comes up in the CD shuffle and I start reminiscing about buying Roger Dean posters from Unicorn Gallery and the Frank Frazetta artwork hanging on the walls at Conan's pizza and watching Wizards at the midnight movie and shopping for albums at Inner Sanctum Records. Rob did the same damn things at the same damn time in the same damn town so he knew exactly what I was talking about. Now we didn't hook up together until we were in our thirties, but it seems we've got all the benefits of being high-school sweethearts without any of the actual adolescent trama. And that's pretty damn cool.

SO...DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE AN ELECTRICIAN?

Well...yeah, I think so. I renewed my license for another year. I keep showing up. So, yeah...I guess I do. I'm working with the foreman now, I've been waiting for that. To learn the theory behind the mechanics I've been learning for almost two years now. When I first got into this, it was my friend helping me out after I lost my job with a couple of weeks of work to make ends meet...that short call has turned into a regular gig, and now I'm paired with the person who bailed me out and I want to learn from the most. Cool.
I can do this. But I'm conflicted, and I'm forced to come to terms with what I really want.
In no particular order, here's what I really want:
Win the lottery in a big way and travel and go to school just because, you know...take classes just because .
This will most probably never happen...but I can dream.
Be in a working , viable rock and roll band. I was/am in a band. Since 1994...we rock(ed) but I'm 45. Coming in on the twilight just doesn't seem like a viable option. I am a decent singer/songwriter, and have thought about that acoustic route, but can't bring myself to even play my guitars these days, much less write some songs to move you. I write them in my mind, but that's where they stay. I have wanted to be a rock star since I was a kid, but I'm afraid the frost is off the pumpkin on this one.
I need to start writing songs again...I can dream
Get a really big inheritance.
HAHAHAHAHAAAA!Like that will ever happen.
Get back into the psychic wars...NO...Fuck THAT I won't ever do that again, but I am sad that my chosen profession has led to my general hatred of all things adolescent. If I could run a program like I wanted, they would get right, in spite of themselves. But my way is the way of the dinosaur as much as it pisses me off. My way is the right way. The truth. And it seems nobody wants to deal with that anymore. Pity.
So, I have this opportunity. To learn a trade from someone I respect, make a decent living and maybe even have some magic time come my way.
O.K. ... I think I can do that.
Waa-waa?
Yes...absolutely.

11 months and counting
Eleven months at this job and it doesn't seem like much has changed. I thought by now work might seem less of a daily grind, that I would have adjusted and have a smidgen of energy left at the end of the work day. Instead, I'm still going home exhausted. I'm not sure if this is because my job duties have changed several times and I'm only three months into my current incarnation so I haven't adjusted to the new demands or if it's just the nature of the job or perhaps there is some flaw in my personality. I have to wonder how many, if any, of my coworkers IM-ed their supervisor today asking where the monthly call stats were when they didn't show up in the electronic employee file after the first of the month. Probably not many since most people I've talked to at work don't give a shit what their average talk time is unless it gets them in trouble. I, on the other hand, obsess over my stats and make an effort to improve them each month. Now don't you think that I do this because I assume this effort is going to get me anywhere at my job. I've busted my ass for nothing more than a pink slip at far too many jobs in the past to still harbor the illusion that busting my ass is going to get me anywhere down the road with an employer. I do it because I'm very competitive, though not with others, just with myself. It's why I chose bowling and street racing as my favorite participatory sports as a teenager. Both provided nice hard facts about my individual performance that I could strive to beat the next go around. And I suppose that makes this job suit me in a way I hadn't considered before today. Tomorrow might be another daily grind, but at least it's a grind that I can measure. Though I think I'll still keeping aiming for a long term career goal of beach bum or campground host.

GUESS WHAT?! I'VE BEEN PROMOTED TO A JOURNEYMAN ELECTRICIAN!!!!WHOO-HOO!!!

Yeah...my foreman, who is coincidently a longtime friend, decided that since I was his friend and had "been there" for him so many times in the past I was worthy of promotion to journeyman status. Nevermind the fact that I haven't completed 2 of the 5 years required for this promotion...that I am a little knowledge/ a lot of danger in regard to my experience. I mean I can hook wires and breakers up but I have a VERY limited knowledge of how they interact, or the consequences of a bad judgement on my part. But,he's my buddy and he owes me and we just said "fuck all to the protocol".And just as fast as you can say what?, I'm in.
Sound ridiculous? It is. Nobody in their right mind would do such a thing. Especially my foreman. He may be my friend, but he's not an idiot.
And with that I give you Bunnypants latest nominee to the supreme court...retarded drumroll please...


The stuff nightmares are made of...all in one face
Harriet Miers.

Here's Harriet's resume in a nutshell :
SHE HAS NEVER BEEN A JUDGE...EVER
SHE IS FIRMLY IN BUNNYPANTS POCKET...
SHE HAS NEVER BEEN MARRIED AND HAS NO CHILDREN...*
* Now this is not automatically a bad thing...but taken into context to the gravity of the situation...a lifetime appointment to the supreme court of the united states where most people are married (at least once) and have children ( at least one) she is far removed from having the life experience you'd think a justice on the supreme court would need to judge a variety of complex issues. Unless your opinion of qualified is a lifetime dedicated to the corporate interests of the republican party as a LITIGATOR...not a JUDGE...ever.
I refer you to this link for details on her history
While our new chief justice Robert's ( A-hole,Facist ) has a paper trail shorter than hirohito's junk, Harriet has no paper trail at all. Her confirmation hearings might as well not be held at all, because it's obvious what's happening here.
And anyone who can argue otherwise, please explain to me how a person who has never been a judge could be nominated to the highest court in the land by her buddy the president, who she represented personally.And explain it in a way that makes sense then let me me rewire your house. You'll be ok...really.

SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO BE A LAZY BASTARD

Today was the first saturday I didn't need to get up at the ass crack of dawn and drive Ann to work. And I didn't even have the added bonus of declining the need for wheels and letting her drive herself. She was off today as well. I managed to sleep in till 8 am. This is what I did today....
Got up and had a cup of coffee and a slice of last nights pizza, went back to the bedroom and layed down with Theo and Irene and turned on the TV...found a Law and Order Criminal Intent marathon on the USA network. I like this show.
Started drinking screwdrivers around 10am, and everytime I would emerge from the bedroom to make another I would refill Sullivans kong with a variety of stuff. He was in heaven.
Around noon I switched out the dogs and Sullivan and I had a nap on the bed.
When I woke up the marathon was over and golf was on...ewwww.
I switched over to the sci fi channel and watched "Frankenfish" .... OK, mostly I just spoiled Sully.
I finally got dressed around 8pm and went to the store.
I came home and made tacos and got undressed...boxers and crispy tacos. Daddy like.
I didn't get a thing done all day except relax, give my dogs some undivided attention, and remind myself that the sci-fi channel should stop making original movies, or at least make them for the comedy channel.
Good night.
Now this is funny...

GOD KNOWS AS YOUR DOG KNOWS, BOG BLAST ALL OF YOU (MAN THAT'S AWESOME!)

We got the rodeo back yesterday...whoo-hoo. That means a CD player. I grabbed Black Sabbath's "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath" and fucking rocked out. 1974...this record was made 31 years ago. I can sing along like it was yesterday, every angst filled word. I was 14 years old the first time I heard it. And as senseless as the title of this post is, it made perfect sense to me at the time, and it's perfectly clear today. The music defined me in 1974, as a template, as the here and now. And it defines me now as been there done that.
And the curious side effect is that I am in a really good mood, a better mood than I have been in for months...I feel, oh I don't know... jaunty...
On the way home home from the third world grocery, I was singing along with this CD and inexplicably pinched off my nose to sound more like Ozzy...pinched nostrils + fake accent = reasonable Oz impersonation. I thought about how cool it would be to cover this period Sabbath with our band, and how funny it would be to sing with a swimmers nose guard pinching off my nose so I could play like Tony and sing like Ozzy at the same time. That would rock. I wish I was 14 again...sometimes...:)

THE HAMMER CATCHES ONE IN THE NADS OH HAPPY DAY...MAYBE.

Tom "The Hammer" DeLay was indicted today of conspiracy for ( it's being reported as funneling money ) but what it really is is money laundering in Texas. HOORAY Ronnie Earle, the prosecutor that caused this to happen. As a result, "The Hammer" had to step down from his position as house majority leader. Simply put, this indictment involves the misappropriation of funds by TRM-PAC ( Texans for a republican majority ) to finance the campaigns of repugs to take over power in the house in Texas. They were also able to force a redistricting of the state which virtually garaunteed a repug majority in the Texas house. It worked, even though redistricting occurred two years late or eight years early considering redistricting is only allowed after a census. (you do the math). The plan worked and the repugs pulled it off,redrawing the district lines and subsequently wresting control of the house from the dems.
Dirty, dirty, DIRTY Tom...you hotentoady piece of repug feces. Thought you could pull it off did ya? HAHA! Gotcha you bastard.
Of course, he's snubbing his nose at the charges and has a high dollar dick smoker attorney to mis represent the "facts" which are unfounded ( sure they are...like, oh, I don't know...like Micheal Jackson isn't a creepy fucking pedophile. He's calling Ronnie a rogue prosecutor...fuck you Tom, and the horse you rode in on. The dominoes are starting to fall for empire...check this....

Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean took the opportunity to draw attention to other GOP controversies.

"With House Republican leader Tom DeLay under criminal indictment, Senate Republican leader [Bill] Frist facing SEC and Department of Justice investigations and White House Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove under investigation, the Republican leadership in Washington is now spending more time answering questions about ethical misconduct than doing the people's business," Dean said in a statement.

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, a California Democrat, described congressional Republicans as "plagued by a culture of corruption."

No shit Nancy...Now DO something about it. The time is NOW.
These asshats have gotten so arrogant they are waving it in our faces with impunity...time to break out the knives...seriously. Time to cut them down.

HOW HOT IS IT?

I'll tell you how hot it is...hot enough to cook three of my turtles alive, in the shade, in two hours. That's how hot it is. Otherwise it was a beautiful day. Speckled shade on the deck, a nice breeze that certainly didn't belie the 107 degrees it actually was. Well, to be fair, it was only 104 in our neck of the woods.I had no idea it was that hot and I thought, "wow, it's a beautiful day...I think I'll put the herd out for some vitamin S. Checked them after an hour to make sure they were still in partial shade, it's all good. Check an hour later...DAMMIT!:( .
I rushed them all back inside and did what I could, managed to save one of the easterns who was foaming at the beak and nostrils, but her two sisters were gone, as was Lucky, my malayan pride and joy...What a fucked up name that turned out to be after all. That's what I've been saying to myself. Five years ago I got Lucky from a person who had bought her from a pet store that gave BAD advice, she was like a shell full of air...I got her to come around and in the following years she thrived,tripling in size, brilliant colors and quite a personality. Those easterns had been with us for six or so years, given to us by a dear friend and fellow rescuer who had two dozen sick and injured wild caught easterns dumped on her, she called me and I took some in.So many, in fact, it was almost an around the clock operation to treat them all and bring them around, but I pulled it off. Our friend is no longer with us, so these easterns were, in some sense, her legacy...to me anyway.My tribute to her efforts.
So...how hot is it?
Hot enough to break my heart.

The message I wish I could put on the tech support line
If you are in the area affected by Hurricanes Katrina or Rita, please press three now
Hurricanes came ashore. Powerlines fell down. Transformers blew up. Roads flooded. Trees blocked access. There's a fuel shortage. The technicians and the fuel available for generators are being used to keep the telephone portion of the service (and 911) up and running. Yes, we know your DSL is down. No, we don't now how long service will be interrupted. If you use a medical device which requires internet access to monitor your condition, please press one to speak with a technician. Otherwise, hang up now because we don't give a shit that you can't play online poker or get the emailed photos of your niece's wedding in Hawaii.

FAVORITE SAYINGS

There's 5 of them.

You can't make chickensalad out of chickenshit.

You can polish a turd all day *
* The long version of this is: You can polish a turd all day, and at the end of the day all you got is a shiney turd.

Just like a cow watching a train go by.

We put the fun in dysfunctional. Or, alternately, funeral.

And my current favorite:

You don't fatten up frogs for other snakes to eat.

Honorable mention:
Waist like a wasp...ass like a hoss.

Got some favorites? G'wan...share.

Just go fly a kite
It was the perfect day to go fly a kite given the weather and the wind today. Although it would be impossible to go to the traditional kite flying grounds of Austin because of ACL, Rob came up with an alternate location that we could try after I got off work. Unfortunately he was unable to secure a kite to fly. It seems that convenience and grocery stores don't carry kites anymore like they did when we were kids. And I can't think of the last time I saw anyone, kid or adult, flying a kite so I guess they are not a popular item these days. I don't know if we'll have any wind tomorrow, but I'm going to try to find a kite anyway. I won't set foot in Wal-Mart, but maybe Toys-R-Us is open. And even if I can't fly it tomorrow, I'd like to have one on hand for the next time the weather conditions are right because I think it would do my soul a world of good to "just go fly a kite" some day.

P.S. It was still hot today, 99 degrees and more of the same expected tomorrow. Maybe, if we are lucky, a cool front on Monday or Tuesday will get us down to the upper 80s where we are supposed to be this time of year.

Go figure
A lot of people didn't evacuate the Houston area. I know this because I spent my day on the phone talking to people from the area who were calling in to find out why their DSL or cable service was down. Although I couldn't say this, I really wanted to ask them if they had considered that maybe Hurricane Rita had something to do with it despite the fact that it didn't take off *their* roof or flood *their* house. I don't mind people calling in to enquire if there is an outage, but with many of these folks you would think it was the end of the world that they couldn't watch the ESPN game day channel or check their email. I know in the back of my mind that a lot of people are shallow, self-centered jerks, but it's really disheartening to be confronted with it call after call after call.

AMAZING THINGS

The ATMs in Houston are empty. There is no gas left in Houston. The highways leading out of Houston and Galveston and other coastal cities are jammed packed and not moving.
Some 17 people who left Houston for a coworkers of Ann's one bedroom apartment here in Austin travelled the 157 or so miles in 14 to 20 hours. That's approx. 7.85 mph.
17 people in a one bedroom apartment...wow. My boss. who hails from the area has 9 people and their dogs staying at his place.
People are running out of gas on these highways ( mostly gas guzzling SUV drivers I'm guessing ) and are sitting ducks cursing their luck with pockets full of cash and credit cards that are useless.
Parts of NOLA are under water AGAIN...AUUUUGHHHHHH!
A bus transporting some elderly folks blew up this morning on one of those freeways...27 feared dead, the oxygen tanks many of them rely on are suspect.
Bush will monitor the Rita situation from an emergency center this weekend that's located in Houston , I mean Galveston, I mean Matagorda, no, wait...COLORADO...that's right! Colorado. What a chickenshit.
Cheney goes under the knife today to remove an aneurysm behind his knee...how fast can one of these aneurysms travel to the brain?( assuming it can dodge the knife) Just wondering...in that hopeful, die motherfucker sort of way.
A survivor of Katrina gets evacuated to Houston and then moves on to Chatanooga Tenn. to make a new start, only to be shot in the head 5 times and left on a roadside shortly after recieving one of those money cards from the red cross. Shot in the head 5 (FIVE) times for a fucking walmart giftcard? That's just sick.
Our city is being overrun by these hurricane evacuees and people coming to town for the ACL music fest...traffic is more insane than usual. I have compassion for the evacuees and contempt for the out of town ticket holders for the ACL music fest that will block my neighborhood streets and act like they are doing me a favor by patronizing this event.
On a lighter note, it appears that the hole Rita punched through will spare us the rain and give us milder winds, but our city will be filled to the brim with the displaced from both storms. Austin did an awesome job of helping out with the fallout from Katrina, hopefully it has the wearwithall to deal with Rita, and the one after .
I could go on and on, and I will, but later...

LOVELY RITA

Is a big ass storm. She's been banging into that stationary front all day just looking for a hole to drive through. The air here has been changing all day. It's heavier, it smells different.
Current forcasts say Austin can expect 3 to 5 inches of rain and winds up to 65 mph. With the exception of the giant old cottonwood tree in our back yard that could get blown down and crush our house, I'm not worried...much. 3 to 5 is not a lot of rain, but if it comes fast and furious there could be some flooding.
OK...I'm worried. About Rita, and Katrina's lingering kiss, about a vulnerable NOLA. We're getting our asses kicked .
The response to Rita by the gub'ment would be impressive if it wasn't such a baldfaced attempt to bury the travesty that was the response to Katrina. Don't misunderstand me, I'm glad they got it together, but it smacks of CYA and that bothers me. It's like the response to Rita will nullify the lack of response to Katrina. Nice try asshat.Somehow I don't think all those "negros" from NOLA will be overwhelmed by anything you do. Now and forever.
Bush is trying in vain to bolster his ever sinking poll ratings ( but they don't care about polls...right? Right. ) by making these really lame comparisons to hurricanes and terrorism. So far, it doesn't seem to be working, and that's a good thing.
Rita has kicked the top off an ant hill, and the ants are headed this way...lets just hope they don't bring disaster with them.
We'll keep you posted.

The first day of fall, but we're still sweating
It was 102 degrees yesterday and 100 degrees today. I can't help but wonder how many migrating folks ended up with heatstroke as they drove away from the coast. I've been told that traffic is horrible even this far inland, but I wouldn't know because I've been home with the flu. Who gets the flu in September? Apparently me. I haven't had the flu in many, many years so I guess I was overdue. I actually came down with it on Monday, but went to work anyway and tried to tough it out until my day off today. I almost made it, but ended up going home early yesterday. And slept and slept and then slept even more today. I was relieved to see that Rita will likely pass well to the east of us so there was no need to rouse from my sick bed and make storm preparations. Though I suppose we should secure a few loose items out in the yard tomorrow night and do our usual possible flood routine. Well, it's back to bed for me. Gotta go back to work tomorrow, flu or no flu.

JESUS CHRIST! WHO IS HE?

Before we get into what I think about this subject, lets look at the "popular" conception of the man called Jesus. The overwhelming perception is that he is the son of GOD, there was Mary and Joseph and that whole manger thing, and while Joseph was the father of appearance, GOD is credited with knocking Mary up. I have to qualify this by saying this is a coming from a catholic perspective. Myself and Ann. I am catholic by birth, Ann is catholic by birth and experience and by reading both the old and new testaments hundreds of times. My parents were not as overtly catholic as Ann's and by age 12, I was alienated from organized religion by some southern methodists in conjunction with Jethro Tull's "Aqualung". A scathing beat down of the church of England and Catholicism with really good guitar..."It's got a really good beat and you can question all your convictions to it".
I was astounded that these people could wish me the grace of GOD on sunday, but during the week shun me because I had long hair, and shun is a very mild way of putting it.
I had a relative by marriage years ago who referred to a double bladed axe as a methodist axe because it was two faced... 10 years after my initial impressions, they were validated by a crusty old rancher who had seen more than I had seen in life even to today, some twenty years later. I think he was a baptist, but I'm not sure. He may have been a pentecost.
And therein lies the problem...who do you believe?
After years and years of wrestling the whole religion thing, I have come to the conclusion that Jesus is who you think he was. Not what practice of organized religion you prescribe to, but REALLY what YOU think . If you buy into any organized religion I believe you are missing the point and instead choosing camps based on what doctrine best suits your needs. To make decisions based on this only serves to diminish your own faith in who he was.
There's a structure to any organized religion, depending on your "faith". You're "faith" determines how you interpret a book written by Jesus' friends. They interpreted his life in what can only truly be described as folklore and biography.
Open to interpretation and the slant of whatever faith is interpreting. Strict pentecostal women and girls don't cut their hair, wear make up, and wear homemade modest dresses. Some southern baptists don't dance, some of them dance and handle snakes. Catholics disagree with the prodestants, who disagree with the episcopalians who disagree with the methodists...and it goes on and on. If Jesus and his "dad" GOD were so right on, why do we have so much conflict about his message?
Answer that...and don't tell me your "church of the righteous unedited teachings of yaweh" is the right and true way. Because it's not. You can pretend that it is, and in your heart and mind, your right. Because that's what you believe. Just don't shove it down my throat, thank you very much.
This is what I currently believe...
Jesus was born to Mary and Joseph...As he grew up he saw the world around him and had some remarkable ideas about people and society. At some point, he began speaking about these ideas and the people in his community thought they were good ideas too. Thoughts about kindness and honesty and the value of community. It caught on and spread out over a land threatened by another country and government and ideology. Over time, he got in the way of thier aspirations and became a threat. So they killed him in a horrible way, to make a point.
But he had started something that didn't go away after he was killed. His friends, in their writings and actions after his death elevated him to savior status. These writings and actions have been reinterpreted and applied over centuries to meet specific secular wants and needs, to manipulate the masses, whether it be the crusades or what's currently going on in the world today. His true legacy has been usurped and bastardized more times than you can count on all the fingers and toes you can find . A simple man with some really good ideas about how to be in the world, when distilled to their essence still ring true.
So...when I hear this nonsense about "intelligent design" I see neoconservative fundamentalists trying to make an end run around the separation of church and state with yet another play on words set on imposing the will of one groups interpretation of how it was on all of us and it makes me shake my head in wonder at how long this battle has been going on .
There is no place for religion in government. Jesus was a man with a great big heart and some good ideas. Religion is a construct, manufactured by a myriad of people with an agenda.

Just call me Oma
Kyle and Brandy came by with Sean tonight and showed us their new pimp-mobile. Aside from the fact that it's awesome that they have a car so they can get around and Kyle can get a job (this part of Texas has yet to understand the concept of public transportation), the big plus for us is that we get a chance to see them once and a while now. Kyle and Rob installed a CD player in the pimp-mobile (because one has to have tunes to stay sane in the traffic around here) while Brandy watched me dote on Sean. Brandy asked me what I wanted to be called by Sean and I said "Oma" because that's what I called my grandmothers. But I don't really care much what name he gives me down the road. I just hope he doesn't decide I'm an witch and become afraid of me like I was with one of my own grandmothers.

THE FOSSIL RECORD.

Being the kind of guy that I am, I did some research on the subject before posting about it. Lo and behold I found this link, that not only matched my experience and knowledge regarding this issue but came really close in terms of sarcasm and ripping those jesus pixie dust creationists. So, rather than rewrite this near perfect ( noticible lack of the word fuck and it's derivitives ) description of how we happened...I copied and pasted it. Enjoy...and thank you Scott for reading my mind back in 99.
Without further ah doo...here is...

The Evolution of Man

By Scott Roeben

Introduction

There is an old saying. Several old sayings, come to think of it. Those sayings have no relevance here, of course, but it's best to begin with a statement unlikely to create controversy before plunging headlong into the subject of The Evolution of Man, which is sure to do so.

Why does discussion of our development cause such dissent? Well, at least in part, evolution flies in the face of Creationism. What is Creationism? In brief, Creationism is the belief that Darwin was a few ice cubes short of a tray. But this is not the time or place to discuss the merits or flaws of Creationism. Creationism is very complex. Like astrology. Or other solidly factual belief systems like those surrounding the existence of the Tooth Fairy or leprechauns. No, this is not the forum to point out the almost laughable, gaping holes in Creationism. This is not the place to ridicule Creationism, especially by calling Creationists "drooling morons" or even "deluded crackpots." No, this is a mature discussion of The Evolution of Man.

I should say up front that the use of the word "Man" in this treatise is not intended to be sexist. Rather, "Man" is a generic term for "person." "Man" is often used interchangeably with "Mankind," such as in the case of that astronaut who said "One (STATIC) step for a (STATIC), one (STATIC) (STATIC) for mankind (STATIC)."

Now that we've cleared that up, let us get to the matter at hand. So, where did Man come from?

Where Did Man Come From?

"Back east," for the most part.

But seriously, we have always had a curiosity about our origins. It is almost unfathomable to us that we may have evolved from the apes. The scientific community continues to gather more and more evidence about our progenitors, yet it seems the more we know, the more we discover we don't know. In fact, some of us didn't even know that, which muddies the evolutionary waters even further.

Did Man Evolve From Apes?

Will you please let a person get a word in edgewise?

No, Really, Did We?

There are no simple answers in life. (Unless, of course, the question is "Will I be audited?") There is a reason the Theory of Evolution is called a theory. Mainly, calling something a "theory" is a way for scientists to cover their respective butts. For instance, in the days of Columbus, there was something called the "Law of the Earth Being Flat." Once Columbus made it to the New World, it was clear the Earth was not flat, and the people who had created the "Law of the Earth Being Flat" became laughingstocks. This would never have happened if they had just held a "Theory of the Earth Being Flat." They could've just said "Hey, it was just a theory."

So, evolution is just a theory. When does a theory become a law? If you would like the answer to this, watch "Schoolhouse Rock." We are much more interested in tracing The Evolution of Man.

[Note: From a genome viewpoint, the difference between modern man and the modern apes is quite small, about two percent. From a physical viewpoint, the greatest difference is in locomotion. We would explain these assertions further, but for this you should probably read the book from which we blatantly stole this information.]

How Long Has Man Been A Tribal Animal?

Man has been a tribal animal since he first walked erect, more than four million years ago.

He Walked "Erect"?

If you are not going to take this subject seriously, we'll just end our little treatise right here. You will no longer receive the benefit of our knowledge, nor will you be able to hear us bandy about such terms as "treatise" and "genome."

Oh, All Right, What Were the Stages of
Development of Mankind?

Funny you should ask. Mankind's development can be broken down into the following groupings: Australopithecus afarensis, Australopithecus africanus, Australopithecus robustus, Homo habilis, Homo erectus, Neanderthals, Cro-magnons, Homo sapiens. It is important to remember that not just anyone can make up names for such groupings. Scientists undergo years of training in "obfuscation" and "gobbledygook" before they attempt to name various creatures or phenomena. If you don't believe us, try it yourself. Try naming things around your house: Tabilus endicus. Refrigeratorus frigidaris. Medicinus cabinentus. Sound silly, don't they? Perhaps now you see why it's best to leave the naming to the scientists.

Isn't It About Time for a Chart?

It is about time for a chart.
SPECIES TIME PERIOD
Australopithecus afarensis 4 to 2.7 million years ago
Australopithecus africanus 3 to 2 million years ago
Australopithecus robustus 2.2 to 1.6 million years ago
Homo habilis 2.2 to 1.6 million years ago
Homo erectus 2.0 to 0.4 million years ago
Neanderthal 200 to 35 thousand years ago
Cro-magnon 35 thousand years ago
Homo sapien 200 thousand years ago to present

There is one thing which is clear from this chart. Our ancestors would have been a whole lot easier to study had they been "linear." However, this was not to be, especially if we have made some transcriptions errors in our chart. Let's take a closer look at some of our hairy forefathers and/or foremothers.

Australopithecus Afarensis

Our most ancient ancestor is Australopithecus afarensis. They lived roughly 4-2.75 million years ago, which according to my calculations would make them 1.25 million years old each. No wonder they look so decrepit in photographs.

Various sources inform us that we know about Australopithecus afarensis because of Lucy. Apparently, Lucy was a big fan of archaeology. Rumor has it that she must have talked to Ethel and hatched a scheme to get into the show at Ricky's nightclub by masquerading as a "hominidae." Ha, ha. Just a little evolutionary humor. Actually, Lucy is a set of skeleton remains which has made us aware of this species. Oh, and this species is also mentioned in books. It occurs to us Archeologists would save themselves a lot of time and digging if they would just look in books first.

Australopithecus africanus

The main differences between the afarenis and africanus were height and brain capacity. There is little humor to be found in africanus, mainly because we do not want to be boycotted by the Reverend Jesse Jackson.

Australopithecus robustus

Australopithecus robustus had an average height of 1.5 m. This made life difficult for robustus, mainly because no one has any idea what an "m" is. It is suspected that an "m" is something like a foot, but currently this is just a theory.

Scientists note that robustus had a flat face. This may have come about because it is believed robustus was constantly getting into fistfights over being teased for having "bust" in its name.

Robustus was also vegetarian, which likely means robustus had a rather self-righteous attitude and, again, what better reason do you need to flatten someone's face?

Homo Habilis

Homo habilis is also known as "handy man." This is why you could almost never reach habilis on a holiday weekend.

Habilis was probably the first of the ape-men to make primitive stone tools. These tools resembled "rocks," and in some cases, "stones." With the advent of tools came the development of the "neighbor," which "borrowed" the newly invented tools...and most were never seen again.

Homo Erectus

Homo erectus inhabited the regions of southeastern and eastern Asia until approximately 300,000 years ago, when its rent was raised and it got the hell out. Homo erectus had a similar body size to humans, although the female Homo erectus almost always felt it looked fatter than it really was.

Homo erectus was similar to modern man in a great many ways, although the brain size was considerably smaller--comparable to that of today's professional wrestling fan.

Homo erectus was a mighty warrior, an explorer, an inventor. Erectus invented clothing, in fact, which is used even today by just about everyone except those posing for National Geographic and certain men's magazines.

It is interesting to note that Homo erectus was the first to bury its dead. It appears the previous practice of burying the living became impractical due to all the flailing and biting. Homo erectus, like all our progenitors, was able to adapt.

Neanderthal

Before and during the last ice age there appeared a very distinctive type of man, the Neanderthal. We're betting that what made the Neanderthal distinctive was his body odor, but there's no consensus in the scientific community to support that (yet).

Originally, it was thought Neanderthals were direct ancestors of man. But skeletal remains of modern man have now been found dating from the same time as the Neanderthals, suggesting they both arose from a common ancestor (a guy named Stu). This is quite a revelation, especially to the people who have managed to read this far.

Neanderthals became extinct some 40,000 years ago, mainly because they were utterly inept at mating. Fossil records show quite clearly that while mating rituals for the various types of hominids developed in predictable, advancing increments throughout history, Neanderthals, inexplicably, did not conform to that pattern.

Please note the following official-looking chart.

EVOLUTION OF THE MATING INITIATION VERBALIZATION (OR PICK-UP LINE)
Australopithecus afarensis : Ugh.
Australopithecus africanus : Ugh?
Australopithecus robustus :Your cave or mine?
Homo habilis......................: Want to see my stone tool?
Homo erectus ....................: "Erectus"? Get it? "ERECTUS."
Neanderthal ........................: Come here often?
Cro-magnons.......................: I so DO NOT know that guy.
Homo sapien........................:Me either. I'm SO not with him.

Cro-Magnon

Cro-magnons have somehow developed a poor reputation in modern times. The designation "Cro-magnon" is often used by modern women to make the point that a man is acting in a manner which is "uncivilized" or "crude." In truth, modern men act in a manner with would be seen even by Cro-magnons as "crude," especially that part about making smooching noises when an attractive modern woman walks by without the benefit of a bra.

Cro-magnons were perhaps best known for their paintings. They used paints made of manganese and iron oxides to paint the walls and ceilings of their caves throughout what is today called France and Spain. Many of these beautiful paintings have been preserved and can still be seen. The only drawback to viewing these artistic marvels is the unfortunate fact that to do so one may have to go to "what is today called France" and deal with "what are today called rude jackasses." Some would consider this a small price to pay to view these historic paintings.

Of course, we cannot discuss Cro-magnons without mentioning that during the seasonal migration of herds, the Cro-magnons used cunning hunting skills and tools--even managing to develop extremely advanced tools for hunting (possibly even a bow and arrow). Cro-magnons were the precursors to our modern day deer hunters--grown men who delight in the merciless slaughter of gentle, innocent creatures. Again, the Cro-magnons would appreciate it if we could come up with another term to describe these guys. Unfortunately, there was no "Nimrodus moronicus," but I'm sure the scientific community will think of something. As we said, they're good at making up names.

Homo Sapien

The evolution of Homo sapien began about 200,000-300,000 years ago. At first, you might say this is a very rough estimate. This would be extraordinarily rude, but we will try and put it behind us.

The Homo sapien physical structure is similar to that of Homo erectus, however, Homo sapien had a better sense of color, mainly due to the advent of swatches about 235,000 years ago.

The Homo sapien brain capacity averaged an impressive 1,350 cc, surprisingly the same size of today's humans. Well, most of today's humans. The Homo sapien brain dwarfs that of the average DMV employee like a skyscraper dwarfs a dollhouse.

There is much more information available about Homo sapien. Just not here. (Get over it.)

Conclusion (One Hopes)

One thing is clear. We are what evolution made us. Especially if you exclude the relatively recent advent of the sex change operation. We are all the result of adaptation, mutation and, often, ghastly orthodontic headgear.

Yet while we arrogantly pride ourselves on how far we have come since we first began our evolutionary trek, how far have we really come? Even with all our modern machines, we are, essentially, still wrapped in loincloths--warring, hunting, mating. Well, some of us are mating. Mostly guys in rock bands.

It might be argued that because of evolution, and natural selection, we are the result of the survival of the fittest. Our ancestors who best adapted to their surroundings, and who reproduced most successfully, spawned others who had to exhibit equal cunning and virility to pass on their genes. Some feel that in the not-too-distant past we were our strongest, most intelligent and most virile. Now we have labor saving devices. Machines do much of our thinking for us. Even reproduction has been assisted (and in some cases replaced) by our technology. Could it be that since we no longer have to rely on our strength and cunning that we are, in a sense, devolving?

Thankfully, we have answered enough questions already, so there's no need to try and answer the hypothetical ones, too. We will leave the difficult questions up to those who have time to read and conjecture and spell check and the like.

Instead, in order to fulfill what we see as our evolutionary imperative, we will now devolve into our big, fluffy, highly-evolved couch for a nap.

SE7EN

Nicked this from Billy...

Seven Things I Plan To Do Before I Die:
1. Get a tattoo...another one.
2. Learn to play the mandolin.
3. Record a CD that actually gets some airplay.
4. Get my Journeymans licence.
5. Go to England and meet some of my kinfolk.
6. Go to Nova Scotia and meet some of my kinfolk.
7. Open a deli/and or catering business.

Seven things I can do:
1. Play a mean lead.
2. Sing like I mean it.
3. Intimidate people without saying a word.
4. Disarm those same people when I open my mouth and speak.
5. Tell a good story.
6. Hit a target at 100 meters with a 12 gauge slug...and score a kill. Consistantly.
7. Draw a really pretty butterfly.

Seven things I can not do:
1. Tell a convincing lie.
2. Kill a spider.
3. Take gangsta rap seriously...I mean come on, lines like "my grill be lookin' like a disco ball" and " I need to work at it like a crack addict in rehab" hardly lend creedence to the
cause. It's fucking funny, but come on niggas! Get real.
4. Write a gangsta rap hit...White Chocolate was already taken when it occurred to me.
5. "...Just kill a man..."but Cypress Hill can...or else they are full of shit. You decide the legacy of gangsta rap here. Can they indeed just "kill a man"?
6. Hit a live target at 100 meters with a 12 gauge slug and kill you...unless you give me a reason .
7.Play a mean lead consistantly.

Seven things that I find really attractive about the opposite sex:
1. Eyes.
2. Boobs.
3. Hips.
4. Low rise jeans and mid-riff tops.
5. Ass...all manner of ass.
6. Brains.
7. The pooch. There's nothing like the pooch.

Seven things I say the most:
1. What the fuck?
2. Oh...COME on...
3. I meant to do that.
4. Son of a bitch...
5. Sorry piece of dogshit...
6. Chinga-derow...
7. Ho chi min trail...

Seven books I love:
1. Killing Custer...The author escapes me.
2. Brave New World...Huxley
3. A Clockwork Orange...Burgess
4. Cruel Shoes...Martin
5. The Stand...King
6. Get in the van...Rollins
7. A Seperate Reality...Casteneda.

Seven people I would like to see take this quiz:
1.Annabelle
2.W
3.Joel
4.Rusty
5.Kyle
6.Brandy
7.God

This was more work than a regular post...dammit.

THE EASIEST BIRTHDAY EVER

Shiner bock and pizza...and i tunes...taking turns on songs...thousands of them. It's really kind of unbalancing. To trace the romance musically over birthdays and anniversaries. Romance is the key word here. This is my girl. Hot rod rock and roll . You have my heart. always.

Forty-four
I turned 44 years old today. I usually don't make much of my birthday, but I decided that 44 was a pretty cool number and scheduled myself off work today. My birthday plans were simple; I wanted to hook up my computer up to the stereo and spend the day lounging around playing my favorite songs out of the iTunes catalog which is so much easier than sorting through 700+ disorganized CDs. Unfortunately our bank account was in the red and I needed to buy the some connectors to accomplish my goal and Rob wouldn't get his paycheck until later in the day. So when my parents made an offer to take me to lunch and buy me a couple of pairs of jeans for my birthday, I happily took them up on the suggestion. As it turned out I got to do both. Necessity might be the mother of invention, but I'd gather that desire is the father because I managed to come up with a way to connect the computer to the stereo using stuff we had around the house. It might be overkill to use the band's mixing board for such a purpose, but what the heck. I've had a grand time listening to stuff I wouldn't have been bothered to find otherwise. Rob came home bearing birthday gifts of flowers and beer. For dinner, rather than going out to eat, we ordered pizza and sat around doing one of my long-time favorite things to do I'm not sure what you'd call it, maybe "you pick, I pick", but it's something I started doing when I was a teenager where two or more of us would sit around and take turns picking which song to play next. It's a game I brought with me when I hooked up with Rob and he took to it pretty well, introducing me to a wealth of music I would not have otherwise heard. Which is pretty much the whole point and despite having been together for over ten years we still manage to pull something out of the hat from time to time and surprise each other. All said and done it was a great birthday and I hope I don't have to suffer too much tomorrow at work after all the beer I will have drank this evening. Ah well, even if I do, I'm sure I'll think it was worth it.

IT'S ( A COUPLE OF ) MIRACLES!!!

You could have knocked me out with a triple vodka tonic, a shot of jager and a half a valium...but the pResident publicly (in front of cameras no less) took responsibility for the dismal failure that was, and is, the response to the aftermath of Katrina. Wow! Seriously, that cocktail I just mentioned would knock anyone out despite anything that conniving bastard could ever say with the exception of " I resign " . Has he miracuously seen the error of his ways? Did Jeebus come visit him in the middle of the night and show him the burning, sulfurous afterlife awaiting him and his family and administration if he didn't change his ways "right god damn now" ? OR... Is this the only card left to play considering he has tanked ratings wise? Last I heard he was at a 39% approval rating. An all time low in a series of all time lows.Bless his heart...and I mean that in the most derisive southern way you could ever imagine.
Moving on.
While this notion of "intelligent design" has been making the rounds for some time, I haven't spent a lot of time thinking about it. Mostly because of the way I was raised I think. My Dad was a big archaeologist...we were constantly going out on digs. Evolution was an accepted fact in my household. God and religion was man made...an expression of faith.
But lately there's been a big push by the religious right to teach ( and I believe, eventually replace evolution ) creationism and "intelligent design" in the public schools. Another attempt to blur the lines between church and state, among other things.
If you want to have your faith, fine...believe what you want, but please keep it in the church, and more importantly, keep it to yourself. I have never seen a darwinist riding around town on a bicycle knocking on doors hawking the origin of species...ever...in my life.
I have been harrassed by an unending army of various religious people knocking on my door for as long as I can remember trying to convince me of the righteousness of thier particular brand of god propaganda, and for all of those who have knocked, and all of those who invariably will, here is my rebuttal to "intelligent design".

1. The box jellyfish. four brains, twenty four eyes, and enough venom to kill an adult human with one sting. Explain this one to me, please. Was god also working on the right formula for LSD when he designed this one?
2. Mosquitos and wasps and hornets. How about these miscreants? Would supporters of "intelligent design" say something like " God created them to sting people who have sinned or are considering sinning". I don't think so. If that was the case, these little critters would land on your shoulder and whisper in your ear "God says don't even consider ( insert sin of choice here ) or I'm gonna have to sting the fuck out of you".
3. AIDS. If you believe the Pat Robertson types, this is punishment for being gay, or a junky, or a sinner. If you believe the conspiracy theorists, the government designed it to rid the world of gays and blacks and other minorities. If you believe the primates in africa, they were just passing it on as payback for all that zoo oppression. It seems to me, that if there was such a thing as "intelligent design" there would be no gay people, no junkies, no sinners and no sick monkeys in africa. Or zoo's for that matter. Or any government that would ever give cause for people to think they would ever do anything to hurt us. It would be a perfect world, like that walgreens commercial only way more boring.
And finally, 4. Retards. What "intelligent designer" would allow the ongoing production of disabled and deformed and damaged models? Seriously. You would think that those kind of bugs would've been worked out from the get go. "Ooohhh...webbed fingers and toes combined with drooling stupidity is no good, time to re-shake the "intelligent design" etch-a-sketch and start over". Supporters of "I.D." would undoubtedly explain this as "punishment for sins", or maybe " God has a problem with booze ".
What kind of god would visit this kind of ugliness upon us? Not to mention the thousands of other ugly things visited upon us on a regular basis?
I'll tell you what kind...no kind.
Were doing this to ourselves...it's called evolution. I don't think we're finished yet,either. I've seen Waterworld...have you?
God is an expression of faith, and we've even managed to screw that all up. Go knock on somebody else's door, or better yet, go home.

AND THE BEAT GOES ON

Click on the bold text for details...

"Brownie...you're doing a great job"...Bush, a few days ago praising then F.E.M.A "director" Micheal Brown. Who resigned today after a shit storm of questions about his character (padded resume, no experience in emergency matters) and his performance. So what exactly was this "great job" Bunnypants was refering to? The collective blowing of smoke up our asses? YES.

Blackwater mercenaries have deployed enmass to New Orleans to "maintain order". These are the same privately funded armies that have been engaged in black ops in Afghanistan and Iraq. They have been provided with all amenities the survivors of Katrina have not...Is there something wrong with this? YES. They are mercenaries...ex rangers and seals, heavily armed and patrolling our gulf coast. "Protecting us". Sure they are. Where did they come from and who invited them?

I couldn't find a link for it, but an elderly woman was tackled by police and forced onto a truck and "evacuated" from her home, despite the fact that it was not affected by the flooding. She was armed with a knife and a gun and adamantly refused to leave. She was tackled by law enforcement and forced from her home. I heard audio of this incident on several radio stations throughout the day. Curiously enough, I can't find a link to the story, albiet it was a half hearted effort on my part. I heard it people, take my word for it.

POLITICS-US: Pentagon Foresees Pre-emptive Nuclear Strikes What??? WHAT???
Read the article for details...if there was ever a case for removal of this asshole president and his cold war cronies, this is it. We can recall the cold war with the Soviets...they were communists, and while a lot of people beleive commies were an incredible threat to our way of life...communists had the collective and that ideology that didn't include the militant Islamic peoples hatred of our very core and a equally fervent desire to destroy us. The cold war was a stalemate for one primary reason...neither party wanted to be evaporated in a cloud of atomic dust.We simply waited the soviets out and outpaced them technologically until they ate themselves up with thier own bullshit;It's a simple explaination, but it's fact. The militants we are in conflict with now could give a shit...they are hellbent to destroy us and by our actions we are drawing them together into a national Islamic front that wouldn't hesitate to drop the bomb on us regardless of the consequences...that is if we are able to retaliate. The neo con mindset is "why wait? Lets hit 'em now and then we'll see about retaliation". Remember...Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Thier response? Surrender. Much better than incinerating us, and whether they are or not...they are making noises about it,Iran and North Korea anyway. This is truely some terrifying shit. And if your'e foolish enough to believe this could never happen, remember...Reagan and Bush the first provided them with the initial technology that has gotten them where they are today. Imagine that...we cut off our nose to spite our face and now look at us.
Really...LOOK at us.

I couldn't make this kind of shit up. I wish I could.

I know I'm weird, but...
Tell me one of you has watched that Sci-Fi channel commercial "Unraveled" and while watching it you thought about how the unraveling is just going to get to his upper torso/arms and then what's left of his body is just going to float there, unable to go any further. That's how I see it, but Rob imagines that he's just going to unravel himself completely.

POTPOURRI POST...WHERE I JUST RAMBLE ON ABOUT VARIOUS SHIT THAT HAPPENED THIS WEEK

Being broke ass poor, despite Ann's penny pinching attempts at saving up some money, I was relegated to value shop for groceries. This is what I got for less that 25 dollars:
An 8 lb. bag of chicken leg quarters ( Ann is not a big fan of chicken, but come on...at 68 cents a pound I will stretch my cooking imagination to make it agreeable to my better half's palate, and trust me...I can).
3 packages of flavored noodles @ 59 cents each.(store brand)
2 1 lb. tubes of 23% fat ground beef.(store brand)
1 package of spaghetti noodles ( store brand)
A jar of peanut butter and grape jelly ( yes...store brand)
A loaf of, you guessed it...store brand bread.
2 Cans of store brand soup
Cello bag of carrots and a five pound bag of russet potatoes
A 20 pack of store brand tortillas
And finally...a store brand bag of chips.
And as far as my better half's palate...the chicken was marginal, but the noodles were "pretty good for 59 cent noodles" .
I guess I should forget about any iron chef aspirations...I can cook, but more often these days I feel like that cafe lady with the hairy ears.
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Pretty boy's luck has jumped off me and on to someone else apparently, as my scratching has left me even with a sometimes in the hole record. This is shared by the other scratch heads in the group. Currently I have turned 10 into 7...not bad, I rationalize to myself. Surely a warning sign.
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We are suddenly flush with meters... I bought one, Wolfie bought one at a pawn shop mainly because he thought it was made in california. As it turns out it was made in Taiwan. Mine was made in Thailand. Taiwan and Thailand took turns testing continuity today...Taiwan's beeps louder.
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I could bitch and moan about lots of other things, but the fact remains that no one is listening, they have their own shit to deal with. And in the short run...the dogs still love us, we still love each other, and we still have a roof over our heads.
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That's my America.
How's yours?
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That's what I thought...Hang in there America

HEY MR. CHENEY...GO F*CK YOURSELF

Hollered at the (apparently) reanimated vice pResident at a speaking engagement in Mississippi, followed up with a few fuck you Mr. Cheneys and a reporter casually asking if he'd heard a lot of this."First I've heard" was Darth cheneys response. You see, he's been on vacation in Wyoming and couldn't be bothered to return until now. There were reports that because of this experience, he cancelled his trip to New Orleans, where he could have been ( and should have been) drawn and quartered and fed to all the abandoned animals there as his flesh is not fit for human consumption. Here's a hardy go fuck yourself from us DICK (there's a good reason that's his first name). You make me sick.
I love it. Not the ongoing struggle along our gulf coast, but incidents like this...a citizen giving empire the what for. It's awesome. Apologists will say it's uncalled for and unpatriotic, I say it's about time. And long overdue.

YOU ARE F*CKED WITHOUT A VOLT METER

Over the past week, we have had a volt meter crisis...the foreman's dissappeared on the stadium job...some college student ripped it off, or it is in some mechanical room waiting to be found. The one my journeyman had ( a very nice greenlee meter) was reclaimed by his former IJ, I put a new battery in mine and it would only do continuity no matter how many sweet words I whispered to it, or how many times I "tapped" it against the wall (imagine the manipulation of old TV antenna, complete with foil) it was resolute in it's ability to register continuity and NOTHING else.
So, after work today I went to the home depot and bought a new one...I couldn't really afford it, but I needed it, we needed it.
You've got to have a meter.
On the bright side, I'm using the old meters case to isolate my nutdrivers from the chaos that is my tool bag. Silver lining indeed.
So we are back in the saddle again, and I have a new meter...and that rocks.

Bummer...

"ASSHAT" IS REALLY A TERM OF ENDEARMENT, AND OTHER ANSWERS.

Anonymous asked whether I thought the mayor of New Orleans and the governer of La. had anything to do with the lack of a meaningful response to Special K,I mean Katrina. Well...according to FEMA documents, they were not to respond until local and state government requested it. The problem with these documents is that they are dated after the mayor and the governer requested assistance. So the answer is no, unless you buy into the notion that they were being punished for being democrats. If you buy into that, then yes, they hindered the rescue efforts by being democrats requesting assistance from a republican administration...who by the way swear up and down that this is not the time for partisan politics.Then the answer is yes...because they are democrats. Either way you slice this up, it still smells of bullshit...GOP bullshit. And the dems are feeding right into it with all this talk of racism, trying to one up bunnypants with cries of racism is pathetic politics. Like I said yesterday, lets stick to the facts and the racism will come out on it's own if it's there.
Go to http://www.therandirhodesshow.com/live/ for a timeline of the ( lack of response). There's even a pictue show for those of us with little time ( or literacy :) )
Go on...go see the truth as it unfolds.
Something else that really bugs me is the abandoning of animals...dogs, cats, like they are dispensible. That's really fucked up. Even if I had to walk out of NOLA, my dogs would be walking with me. More about that tomorrow.

A few thought about Katrina
Katrina and it's aftermath has been garnering a lot of my attention these days. I've watched and listened to more news this last week that I probably did the entire year. There's a lot I could say about the situation, but the thing that struck me most was the lack of understanding about the folks who couldn't evacuate. There seems to be a huge population in this country that doesn't know what it's like to live paycheck to paycheck and have no savings, no transportation and no money to get out of town, nor have the money to stock up for a possible weeks worth of groceries and water until help can arrive if you can't leave. Rob and I are a lot better off than many people in the affected area and we would have a hard time getting of town if we needed to do so. And I disagree that the lack of response was a matter of race, but you'd be hard pressed to convince me that it wasn't a matter of economic status. I don't think it was as simple as someone thinking that it's just a bunch of poor people so we can drag our heels, but rather the fact that there was a lack of existing infrastructure and resources to draw from in the first place which hampered relief efforts even further. This country has a long history of ignoring the poor and impoverished whether it be on our own soil or in our foreign policy. You see it in the cry to "free" the people of Iraq (they have oil), but we ignore Rawanda and the Sudan (they have nothing.) I saw a hell of a lot more ass-busting to get the employees from 9-11 back to work than I see for the victims of Katrina. God forbid that someone making $50,000 or more a year might be out of job, but we don't care so much about restoring the minimum wage worker's livelihood. I'm sure it's not as simple as that, but still, I have to wonder what world our policy-makers live in. It sure as hell ain't the same world as mine.

FEMA DECLINES HELP FROM:

CHIGACO
SWEDEN
RUSSIA
CUBA
VENEZUELA
A WATER CARAVAN SPONSORED BY WALMART TURNED AWAY
AND IT GOES ON AND ON AND ON....
For more of this bullshit, check this LINK for more insanity than I can begin to relate.
But the biggest spin of all is the racist spin...the growing accusations that this administration (in the words of Kayne West ) doesn't like black people. And it's being spun by the liberal media and most especially air america radio, and this is what I heard on Randi Rhodes show today:
" The moronic apple doesn't fall far from the lynching tree" - a reference to Babara Bush and her son the pResident.
"Bush gave his black butler a half day off on labor day so he could donate blood, because his (Bushes) didn't match, because it was white"
And finally..."I bet Barb would've felt right at home down on the plantation 400 years ago"
Interestingly enough, our local air america affiliate went dead air after these comments. Signal drop? Cloud cover? Or the sense of reason? You decide.
That this administration has failed the gulf states miserably is a painful obvious reality is simply fact. But to throw the race card...fuck that...the race deck, is insanely dangerous, even if it's true.
And there are many salient points that, if taken in the right context to make them true.
Bush has executed 100's of minorities while gub'ner of Texas with what you could describe as cavalier disregard for the judiciary in Texas, who curiously rolled right over for him.
He openly mocked Karla Faye Tucker prior to her execution, and while she was white and female, lends creedence to that lennon song "woman is the nigger of the world" and underlines his backassward ways and narrow mindedness. Now, I'm cool with her execution...she was a sick fuck who brutally murdered some folks that no dosage of jesus could wash away,but he didn't have to mock her. But he did, and that says something less than favorable about his character.
Lott is a racist bastard, I have no proof, but look at this dude...he's got hoods somewhere, in a variety of colors.
For the opposition to raise the race card, and start throwing around words like murder is, in my opinion, irresponsible. Sure, the majority of victims are black, and poor, and couldn't leave even if they wanted to. But the focus needs to stay on mark...not fly off on this racist thing. There are lots of impoverished blacks along the gulf coast that couldn't get away, and the question is where was the relief and rescue?
If we keep asking that question and stay on the mark, the racial thing will answer itself. And while I'm sure the soft bigotry of the republican party will play a part, it still doesn't answer the bigger question...where were they ( FEMA and homeland security) and why were they so invested in declining help from the aforementioned countries and companies ( WALMART???) insisting on doing it themselves in such a pathetic fucking way?
If you want to know my opinion, it's about the rich powerbase intent on culling the herd, regardless of color. It's about greed and pride and control.
Racism may play a role in there somewhere, but for the liberal media to be screaming so loud about it so soon is dangerous and irresponsible.
Let's stay on the mark.
And that mark is incompetence.
And this administration is near hemmoraging on it.

I THINK MAYBE I MIGHT BE A LITTLE SENSITIVE THESE DAYS

As you all know, I'm a new grandfather, which on the face of it, heralds a new stage of life. A new person in the world and family, a new role for me to play as parent, and inlaw.
All families are different, I know we ( the we being Ann and myself ) are different. The other side of this family tree is different too. It's like that smoke you know is real, but when you try to grab it, it's not there. As a divorced parent, without custody, I was not always in the know...I was excluded from important matters on all levels until the shit hit the fan, and then it was laid in my lap...all my fault. This was proved false, thanks to a therapist who had her shit together and could see what was going on. I readily admit my failures as a part time parent...I've already done that, and put it behind me. But the shadowy family from a shadowy planet find themselves in a unique position of control, and I fear the same kind of bullshit played regarding my son will be repeated and refined regarding my grandson. Then again, I might just be being paranoid...but that's what I kept telling myself when Kyle was growing up, and it turns out I was way more than half right...so, go figure. I hope I'm wrong about this...but time will tell.
As it happens, I am more right about things than I am wrong...testament to my former career, and as far as that goes, I'm usually proven right after the damage is done.
And then there's the world we are all living in right now. It's a mess...war, disasters, political corruption and lies, a president who can't find his ass with two hands and a map and rove.
I can say with some relief, that I'm not one of those rat nibbled dead bodies in New Orleans, or some bloated waterlogged corpse pressed up against the roof of my attic waiting to be discovered by those relief crews that were more than a day and a dollar short in terms of response.
I haven't been blown to bits by a "improvised explosive device" on some road in and around Basra.
But I am treading water and dodging bullets because of the fallout of this administration's inability to tell the truth, it's centrist greed, and it's inability to spin the lies into something palatable. I'm choking on the bullshit, as so many others are. Lots of folks are talking about it, but so far nobody is doing anything about it. Talk is cheap...lets see some fucking action already.
Bush said there was no way to anticipate the levee breeches in New Orleans...LIE...the levees weren't complete when he and his slashed funding and diverted it to the war in Iraq.
There's a place to start...hammer on this obvious lie until they break ( and they would be the Bush administration, before any of you apologist neo cons dare to ask who they are ).
Just look at what's happening along the gulf coast of the united states of rich white america and ask yourself what would happen if there was another terrorist attack on our soil.
Two monkeys trying to fuck a football does not qualify as a response.
And that's exactly what's happening, and it disgusts me. And it frightens me. And it makes me jumpy.

OOOHHH, THAT SMELL

Way back in the day, I smelled like patcholi, which smelled like weed, which was way cool with me. For a very brief period of time I smelled like lilac vegitalis, because my dad said that's what he liked to smell like like when he was a young man.And then there was the British sterling shampoo phase, there's nothing like washing your hair in barton creek with British sterling. So hippy, yet, uhhh...british...and sterling. Then it was patcholi again for a while, until smelling like weed was suddenly a liability. I wore aramis for a while, and then smelled like cinnabar by proxy because my girlfriend at the time bathed in it. After another brief flirtation with patcholi, I discovered fahrenheit, and smelled like Richard Gere for a few years.
And then I grew tired of it all and just smelled like me. And the soap and deoderant I used. Considering my soap was Aveeno stress relief with chamomille and ylang ylang and lavender, but generally left no scent on me after about 15 minutes past drying off. Which means I've been walking around smelling like a camel wide filter and vodka for the last 12 or so years.
I bought some axe unlimited the other day, mostly because I really liked the commercial of the hot chick rubbing a frying pan on her ass, and that other one of all the hot chicks humping the hot water pipe down stairs from the guy showering upstairs...with axe.
I didn't want the Tag effect of chicks tackling me in the store or on the street, axe has a more subtle pheramone response.
They long for you ... from a distance.
Which is a good thing for a middle aged, overweight, tattooed married guy like me.
Plus, it smells good.
And it doesn't give Ann a migraine...as long as I don't use it without the fart fan running in the bathroom.
Hey...I can follow rules.
And axe rules.

JUST LIKE PEAS AND CARROTS

I've got a lot of favorite movies...action, war, space, science fiction, crime drama and love stories. That's right...love stories. And my absolute favorite love story movie is Forrest Gump. The one movie that makes me cry, every time without fail. And it's also a barometer...when does Rob start to cry? It changes every time, commensurate with my own emotional state and what's happening in my world at any given viewing.
That unwavering notion that everythings gonna be alright no matter what.
And that's the kind of simple message of hope I want to send out. Things are not right in the world now, but someday we will be just like peas and carrots again...the right mix.
Right after we bulldoze that abusers house down.
I'm overwhelmed by metaphor.

The real shock and awe
Not bombs over Baghdad, but the paltry response to the disaster in our own country. Like Rob, I too have started and deleted several posts, unable to find the words to adequately express my dismay and my anger. And part of the problem was evident in the calls I've been taking at work the last few days. We have a large customer base in the areas affected by Katrina. The majority of customers that still have some service are understanding when we can't dispatch a technician to fix their problem within 24 hours, but there are those few that have sorely tried my patience. As an example, I had a caller today who was fortunate enough to live a bit east of the affected area yet literally screamed at me because we had not fixed his DSL issue in less than 24 hours. He was furious that we were short on technicians because some had been sent to help sections of the state that were completely without phone service. I find that level of selfishness inexcusable and I had to do a great deal of tongue biting during that conversation. On a brighter note, my employer has set up a donation fund for employees that they will match dollar for dollar. A dollar for dollar match was enough to make this ex-Human Resources Manager smile, but the suggested donation amount made that grin go from ear to ear. The suggested amount was just $5 each. It appears that I work for a company that actually has a clue of what it's like to not be able to afford even Ramen noodles that last few days before payday and yet still have a desire to help folks in even greater need. Five dollars would turn into ten, but I'm hoping I can come up with $25 which will turn into $50 and that's pretty damn cool.

NEW ORLEANS AND EVERYPLACE ELSE

I have started several posts and deleted them all. There are no words that can describe my feelings. I want to go there and help, but civilian help is not being allowed, so I sit on my hands and wait. I hear the news on the radio, I see the images on the TV.
And I see the inept response from FEMA, dismantled and rolled into that joke that is called homeland security. It's pathetic. I see the media wavering between condemning the bush administration for this piss poor response and stopping just short of the line. I heard the mayor of New Orleans calling it like he see's it...calling bullshit. I see suffering on one hand and the relentless spin of the right on the other.
This is wrong, gigantically wrong, and an illustration of how wrong this administration is in general.
There's a cough in the water, and it's headed into town.
Because of the slow response, things will get much worse before they approach middlin'.
And it breaks my heart.