I ALMOST FORGOT THIS FUNNY SHIT...

Yesterday, I was at central stores picking up material with my boss and a central store employee. The radio was playing the Stone's "get off my Cloud" and I seized the moment.With a really old and tired joke.

Radio: Hey! You! Get offa my cloud!
Me: Hey man did you know this song is about Dennis Weaver?
Boss: Really?
Central store employee: Really?
Me: Yeah, when they played at Altamont, you know,they had hired the Hells Angels for security and a big fight broke out and that guy got killed. Well, Dennis Weaver was in the crowd up by the stage and got involved in the fight.
Boss and CSE: Really?
Me: Yeah! And he ended up under a dogpile. Mick saw this and recognized Dennis and started singing " Hey! You! Get off of McCloud.".
Seconds of silence...Then,
Boss: Awwwww...You totally had me.
CSE: (silent)
Flash to today...
I was at Central stores again, and as I passed by the CSE from yesterday he asked:
" Hey Rob...that Altamont story you told yesterday...did it really happen, or was it just a play on words?"
Me and the boss almost lost it!
I love my job.

IN THE MIDDLE OF A BUSY STREET

These 2 homeless people, erm...outdoorsmen, a hispanic man and a black woman...were beating the shit out of each other as we drove by. We turned around to see the rest of it and to get a picture, then I remembered i left my tool bag ( and camera ) in my truck this morning cause it was raining. So no picture, but it was amazing. This is a very busy street by the interstate, and there they are, pounding the shit out of each other in the middle of the road.
And then suddenly they stopped and seperated...it was over.
Gotta love Austin.

THERE ARE NO SQUIRRELS IN MANOR TEXAS

There are currently two theories on why that is...these theories are held forth by a husband and wife.
Husband : There are lots of black people here...the answer is obvious. They ate them all.
Wife : No! That's not it. There are lots of snakes here in Manor, and they ate all the squirrel eggs.
Which one is correct?

An actual random image is now up at 3blackdogs...check it.

I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU ANYMORE

Did you ever get ( or give ) one of those notes when you were in Jr. High? I sent a few and got a few during those years. Almost 2 years ago, I got fired by a cowering, trembling piece of shit. You might remember the name.
Well, at least he fired me to my face.
Another one bit the dust today...an 11 year employee.
Fired by a note...A fucking note!
What a pussy.
In honor of my friend, I give you this:



Hey Andy,
How do you fire long term employees?
Just wondering...
Sign me another micromanaging asshat.


Hey Asshat,
Just write 'em a note and then hide in the shower stall. But only after a months long campaign of emotional and psychological abuse fails to tender a resignation. I used to fire in person but the last time I did that I soiled myself. So now it's with the notes. Hey, it worked in jr. high, so why the fuck not? Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I have these vague feelings of guilt , that I'm a fucked up human being. And then I look at my wife and it's all good. Definitely a note...then hide.

OK...IT'S FUNNY NOW

Back when my son was toddler, he would be watched by my mom and my ex's dad from time to time (grandpa jim). The kid was into the pound puppies and the pound puppies go to jail book was a favorite. So, one day my mom was reading this book with Kyle and asked him why the pound puppies were in jail. He pointed to the brown puppies and exclaimed " because they're mexicans!".
My mom asked him who told you that? and he replied "Grandpa Jim"!.
Needless to say, I got an earfull when I picked him up.
And the ex got an earfull from me...but, all things considered...it is a funny story. ( and no, it didn't turn my son into a racist like my mom said it would).
I shared this story with him today...he had no memory of it, but thought it was funny.
I guess you had to be there.

LITTLE CONVERSATIONS

I did a side job with my boss today, and after we went and had lunch and drinks and talked about things not related to the job we do as electricians. I told stories about my mom and dad...both dead now for years. But in the telling of those stories I reminded myself of how extraordinary my parents were. And for a little while, it seemed as if they were still here, a walk down memory lane...a lane I don't get down much these days. They were amazing people, and my stories...I think, illustrated that fact.
If your P and M are still taking up space, take advantage of that space, because while it warmed my heart to share stories about my mom and dad with a friend, it pained me that I could'nt introduce them.

SO...IN THEORY IT'S A GOOD IDEA,RIGHT?

Three Black Dogs would be a cool thing.


If I could just remember to bring my CAMERA with me!!! Forgot it again today and missed a shot of a mourning dove eating canned catfood by the bank kiosk next to the law school. Obviously put out by an employee to feed a stray cat...this dove was chowing down.
Missed it by that much:)...
Got a busy weekend coming up, with the kids coming by on sunday, probably...possibly.
Have a good weekend!

PICTURES AT THIS ONE...CURRENT AND DAILY.

Hold my beer a second, I'm gonna try something. Daily images from life. There's room in my toolbag for a camera. No text, just visuals ( you provide the text ). Check me out.
THREEBLACKDOGS INC.

I HOPE THEY KEEP DOWN THE PRICE OF GAS

Oil reached a new high today...$72.40. Prices at the pump here in Austin are between 2.67 and 2.77 per gallon for regular unleaded. There are local news stories about people pawning stuff just to buy gas to get to work and pick up thier kids at school. The airwaves are bristling with the stories of record profits for oil companies, the most obscene being the 329 million dollar retirement package for that exxon pig.
The concern is that we are being gouged by these assholes, and the asshole chain starts in the oval office and trickles down through government to the oil industry. (not that there's much difference). Are we being gouged?
Let me aliviate any concerns about price gouging.
They are fucking us three ways to sunday.
Think it's bad now?
Wait till bunnypants tosses a nuke into Iran. If you think it's tough going now, wait till October, October...if we're lucky.

HE'S A DECIDER

When he says it, it sounds just like another one of those bushisms that make him sound like the peckerwood he is...BUT. Decider is actually a noun, of the intransitive sense. And in this case, he's the decider of whether Rummy needs to go. Apparently, Rummy's future is secure, for now. They even dug up some generals to counter the 7 that have come out calling for his resignation.
Now that's resources for you.
When we heard that "I'm the decider" thing on the radio today we laughed and laughed, because he sounded like such an asshole, and our Dad's who said on more than one occaission "Do what I say and not what I do".
When will we hear our chimp in chief respond to critics by " Because I said so, that's why". Not long, I assure you...and it will be related to a nuclear strike in Iran and that "said so" will refer to his "all options are on the table"...he said so, so what are you complaining about Detroit? We'll help you rebuild, right after were done steady fuckin' New Orleans.
Syria? Hey SYRIA! You lookin' at ME? Watch out, bitches...we may be spread thin, but our viscosity is rated in number of warheads...and we got the motherload when it comes to warheads.
Lybia? Come on....we sent Lionel Ritchie...is that not warning enough??? Here's a clue middle east...BOOM...then a whole lot of NOTHING.
Special note to Iran, by the time were done with you and your neighbors, you'll need 12 fucking 12th Imams to even come close to that fringe islamic bullshit you aspire to.
Yessir...Bush is a decider, and we better all be VERY afraid about what he's decidering.

THE WORLD IS GOING MAD I TELL YOU...MAD

Here are just a few examples:

LaToya Finlay disappeared back in Feb. after telling her family she was going to LA to persue a singing career. Well, they found her. Some of her was in the back seat, the rest in the trunk.Of her car, that was being driven by her aunt and uncle.Her aunt and uncle. Jeez...

10 year old Jamie Rose Bolin disappeared last week in Purcell, Oklahoma, only to be found nearly decapitated in a rubber tub in Kevin Ray Underwood's apartment...her neighbor. This poor little girl was murdered and mutilated right next door to her family. Kevin has no criminal history and is being described by aquaintences as low key and boring. He quit taking his meds awhile back and had been blogging about his weird fantasies. Among them, cannibalism. Police found meat tenderizer and BBQ skewers during the search.

Rihab Hagelkhider went to a wedding in New York and splashed the bride and five others with acid. They don't know what kind of acid it was, but I've gotten muriatic acid on my skin back in my pool nigga days, and that shit hurts.

Boca Grande Florida is being overrun by non native iguanas.

Hama's defends a bombing in Tel Aviv, saying the palestinians are in a "state of defense"...yeah, ok, whatever.Lets kill 9 people minding thier own business at a restaurant and that'll teach those jews a lesson. Speaking of Hamas...Iran is giving them 50 million in aid. Iran, whose president wants to wipe Israel off the map, is providing 50 million in aid to terrorists ( democratically elected terrorists I'll have you know). I predict more suicide bombings in Israel...50 million dollars worth.

Iran, in addition to funding Hamas, continues to thumb it's nose at the world, and lets face it, the USA in particular, in regards of their nuclear program. You don't thumb your nose at George W Bush...no sir. Not because he's a great leader, but because he's a stunted human being with a small penis and a big appetite for power and money. Thumb your nose one to many times and you'll find yourself in Gitmo, or, in the case of Iran, the recipient of a tactical nuke. Colbert put it succinctly on his show last week while interviewing a man that wrote a book on manliness..." It's like Bush, no matter how the facts change, his opinions remain the same...that takes giant cahones".

Gas is 3 dollars a fucking gallon. I can't afford that, and neither can most of the people I know, I don't know that Exxon executive that got a 329 million dollar retirement deal, who probably gets his gas for free for life...fuck him and all the others like him. Bastille day, oddly, comes to mind when I think about him and the other grossly overpaid CEO assholes in this country.

Bush keeps singing his own praises on his tax cuts, how they are helping americans. Well, guess what? We made less money than we have in 10 fucking years and we owe almost 500 dollars.
Fuck you Bush and your bullshit tax cuts.



So...there you have it...Dismembering family, BBQing a 10 year old, throwing acid around at a wedding, an iguana epidemic, terrorists running a country (legitimately...democratically ),
50 million in aid from Iran to ( in my opinion ) further the killing in Israel. Which is undoubtedly speeding up the run for the US of Bush to nuke Iran. Gas is 3 bucks a gallon. The filthy rich could give a shit. The middle class is in it's twilight.
Sad, scarey stuff.

BEST OF DEPTHMARKER CARTOONS

I hope you enjoy this entry from 2004...

This is just wrong

GOOD FRIDAY

The short cut to the vodka store leads me through the parking lot of San Jose Catholic Church...loosely connected with the streets and alleys that connect our hood. It saves me several minutes of drive time, but the other day I was driving through the lot and many of the congregation were walking and praying through the stations of the cross that are laid out like a disc golf course around the parking lots. There were about 200 of the faithful walking through the stations as I passed by. I suddenly realized that i was passing by at about 5 mph with a bumper sticker that says " Jesus is my copilot and we're cruising for pussy" . So THAT'S why these people stare at me.
I cruised to the vodka store today and was halfway through the parking lot when the connection of good friday finally terminated with the catholic church...probably 500 people saw said bumper sticker...I started laughing and hit reverse to the stares of a 1000 catholic eyes.
Man...am I gonna burn in hell or what?
Have a good friday. I'm having one.

I needed a break from work and it's been a long time since I posted so here goes:

Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see me?

The Good Earth (The Feelies) This is a Rob song so I don't really know the lyrics, but I've been called "the Earth Mother type" by a great number of people over the years so I suppose this is appropriate.

Will I have a happy life?

Drink to the Dead (Clutch) Yes, if I continue to remember what this song seems to say which is that life is all too short and we should have fun before it's all over.

What do my friends really think of me?

Lights Out (UFO) Umm, I'm a guitar solo?

What do other people secretly think of me?

Psychobabble (Alan Parsons Project) "It's all pyschobabble rap to me"; I do have a habit of calling people on their bullshit rationalizations about their behavior and pissing them off as a result.

How can I be happy?

Close to Me (The Cure) This is another Rob song so obviously I should just stay close to Rob.

What should I do with my life?

Hopeless? (ProPain) "Reap what you sow" - couldn't be more clearer than that.

What is some good advice for me?

Snap your Fingers, Snap your Neck (Prong) Excellent advice in this song.

How will I be remembered?

Tyrant (Judas Priest) Muhahahaha.

What is my signature dance song?

Since I've Been Loving You (Led Zeppelin) The "Working from seven to eleven every night" certainly fits the dance I'm doing right now.

What do I think is my current theme song?

New Orleans is a Dying Whore (Down) Given the hell of the time I'm having with my new job I'd have to say this is as good a choice as any.

What does everyone else think is my current theme song?

She Sells Sancturary (The Cult) I'll admit there is fire in my eyes, but I'm not so sure on the sancturary part.

What song will be playing at my funeral?

Let's Work Together (Canned Heat) Hell yeah. In fact, screw waiting for death, I should play it now for my employees who are most definately NOT doing this.

What type of men/women do I like?

Lift Me Up (Scud Mountain Boys) Hmm, this one seems a bit off the mark.

What is my day going to be like?

Factory (Wall of Voodoo) In a way, yes.

STOLE THIS MEME FROM SPECIAL K, WHO STOLE IT FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Actually having some fun here! G'wan! you know you wanna!

Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.


How does the world see me?

Scarecrow (Ministry). Well...ummmm...er..." They live without hope"...

Will I have a happy life?

Non addictive marijuana ( Supersuckers). Apparently :)

What do my friends really think of me?

Prove it (Television). Not sure about this one...prove what?

What do other people secretly think of me?

Seamus ( Pink Floyd).I'm a dog? I'm a stoner with a dog? ???

How can I be happy?

Paper Money (Montrose). Money is definitely an issue...

What should I do with my life?

When ye go away ( The Waterboys). A song about loss...interesting...NOT.

What is some good advice for me?

Fall on me ( REM). " Touch the sky and tell the sky..." This was always a feel good song for me.

How will I be remembered?

Psalm 69 ( Ministry).Only New Orleans is a dying whore by Down could top this!

What is my signature dance song?

Four engines burning ( Screaming blue messiahs). I don't dance, and this band sucks, so it's perfect.

What do I think is my current theme song?

Feeling so much better now ( Trapeze ). OKaaayyyyy....

What does everyone else think is my current theme song?

My Country ( Midnight Oil ). That's more like it.

What song will be playing at my funeral?

Jimmy Hickeys Waltz (The Waterboys). A nice boozy irish kinda thing...ok, as long as it's followed by the Black Watch doing amazing grace and everyone cries ( or vomits) :)

What type of men/women do I like?

Blue Monday ( New Order). Not in a long long time, good song though.

What is my day going to be like?

Snap your fingers,snap your neck (Prong). Perfect!

HERE WE GO AGAIN

So Bush admits to leaking the info that outed Plame, BUT...he declassified the info before he told Golem to tell "scooter" (my parents had a siamese cat named scooter that lived under the console TV stereo thingy...like a freak ) to let the info out. He admits this but with the added rationale that he "declassified" the info so americans could "know the truth" about this lie of a war.
I have a couple of questions about this. Number 1 is why is this the first we're hearing about this decision to "declassify the information so americans could know the truth" about what a threat Iraq was...lets look at this on it's face. What doe's Plame's status as a CIA operative have to do with Iraq being a threat? Why wasn't Bush blowing his own horn about this when it happened? Something along the lines of " This intervention is SO important that I have declassified sensitive documents to show you, the american sheep I mean... people why I'm doing it. That would have been heroic, and right up there with the decision to incinerate Hiroshima. Except Bush didn't do that, and it isn't anywhere close to Hiroshima, plus we fucking started it. It's not like Iraq hit Pearl Harbor.
Well, because it's bullshit, that's why.
This was a payback deal from the get go. Wilson called bullshit and he could'nt get away with that could he?
My second question is why are they continually getting away with this shit? I would say that the majority of people don't know how to deal with borderline personalities and that while it's generally diagnosed in females (Condoleeza Rice) males are not excluded.
Back in the day, I used to do alot of work with people with borderline personality disorder. They had thier own reality and were very good at convincing people that it was THE reality. And the general response was to hammer them with the facts, regardless of the smoke they tried to blow up our asses. After a while, they would just give it up, and own up to the constructs of the pathology.
But not before they up the stakes to protect themselves...now, when you're dealing with a 15 year old you get splitting and manipulating of the adults (15 year old = Bush et al, adults = us, the american people ) escalating sometimes to the point of self mutilation ( Iraq ) to distract us from whats really going on ( greed and corruption ) all the way up to the most extreme reaction, a suicide attempt ( invade and/or nuke Iran ). But if you back them into a corner and keep hitting them with the facts in a unified (dems) way, they always fold. Always.
But you have to be unified, and relentless in stating the facts. And that's not happening. Any hole is an avenue of escape for a borderline, and we need to close the holes.
If we don't, the borderline wins...leaving a swath of destruction in thier path.
Kinda like what's happening now, huh?

I was talking to my friend Mozel the other day at the central store about all of this and he shared this with me...I liked it and I'm sharing it with you.

"If California is on the west coast, and you're driving east...you ain't ever gonna get to California".

Word.

OK...LET ME UNDERSTAND THIS

There are 1000's of people taking to the streets of the United States of America demonstrating for immigration reform. Most of these people taking to the streets are here in the United States of America ILLEGALLY. Yet, they are taking to the streets waving the mexican flag and demanding their due...from the United States of America.
Hold on just a second...Let me get my footing here.
These wetback motherfuckers are free to demonstrate about how it's ok for them to cross our borders illegally, and on top of that, demand to be recognized and given some sort of status. But when american born citizens want to demonstrate against Bush, they are relegated to "demonstration zones" miles away from where the action is, unheard and unseen by the press. So far, these illegal ass motherfuckers have been front and center wherever they want to be. Additionally, they are headline fucking news on all the major networks.
Now, I have to ask...are illegal immigrants a new thing? NO. There have been wetbacks as long as I can remember, people have been entering this country illegally for years and years and, fucking decades. So why the focus now?
Illegal immigration is a generational thing now...extended families whose roots go back to the mom and dad that swam across the river back in the 40's and every lil' beaner they popped out was by default and thanks to the constitution, automatically an american citizen. They are pandemic to our society. They are everywhere.
And it's just not mexicans...asians, serbs, croats, pick a fucking race/ethnic group and they are pouring into this country from both borders like the fucking plague.
And the people charged with stopping them are too busy with the war on terror to do anything about it. HUH????
Does that make any sense at all?
Heres what I think...there's an election coming up, and the GOP would rather you focus on wetbacks and homos destroying our way of life, so let's marginalize the homos and make the wetbacks guest workers instead of focusing on a failed , unjust war and a capitol hill that is overflowing with the most corrupt politicians in a lifetime of corrupt politicians. There isn't room to list the crimes committed by this administration...ok there is, I'm just lazy, but trust me it's a LONG list. And they want us to focus on immigration.And those evil homos.
I have an idea. At the planned rallies this week, why not have a bunch of INS agents arrest these motherfuckers and send them back to whence they fucking came?
Nah, that would be too easy...let's invade Iran instead.

TOM DELAY IS A HEATHEN BITCH

And I hope he shares a cell with Blackie McFatcock, and ol' Blackie puts it to him like he's put it to us all these years. Did any of you see this shithead on the news talking about his belief in god and his service to america and how it's all the liberal democrats fault that he's resigning? Please...this guy spent too much time close to the DDT he used to spray around Sugarland, before he started spraying GOP filth around the country. Rot in hell you loathsome miscreant.
And how about the news today that Cheney (on orders from Bush) authorized Scooter Libby to " leak sensitive information about Iraq ( Valerie Plame's cover blown )?...this is court testimony from Scooter himself. If you wonder why ol' Scoots dropping a dime on the cabal, let me clear that up for you. They don't give a fuck about Scooter and he finally snapped to that fact.
And how about the news the other day about that homeland security guy that was trying to set up a fuck-a-thon on the internet with a 14 year old girl ( cop ) ? His name is Brian Doyle...press secretary for homeland security...exchanging vulgar and vile chat and email stuff about how he would like to pork a 14 year old ( cop ).
Now...there are rules about porking a 14 year old girl. For example, If I wanted to pork one, I certainly wouldn't search the chatrooms on the internet, I'd go find one locally, at a middle school. You know why? Cause I would be 14 years old too, and a classmate. Not some 55 year old IDIOT pedophile like Brian.
Oh, and while I'm on a roll, John McCain should be shipped back to that POW camp in Nam (Gitmo) he was in because he obviously didn't get it. That flip-flopping bastard needs a ride on the old electric box springs to refresh his memory. Maybe a crank telephone connected to his balls would refresh his memory about how right he was on issues before Bush and his own selfish goals turned him into a bitch for the GOP and the religious right.
I hope he runs in 2008, so I can vote against him, but mostly to see him exposed as the piece of dogshit he is.
Speaking of 2008...who are you voting for?
Hillary? HAHAHA...only if she blows me and lets me spooge her dress.
Nader? He's been invisible for a long time, but be assured, if he's alive, he'll run and fuck it up for everyone. Dude, you were right about the Corvair ok? Go home and take your pigmy running mate with you.
Clark? OK...I could live with that.
Gore? HAHAHA...
Biden? An empty suit.
Edwards? The empty suits underwear, plus...who wants a gameshow host for a president? Or alternately...
Kerry? ...?...Please.
Sharpton ? You know he's probably gonna run and why not? If he started wearing that giant medallion again I'd vote for him. If he got a fly grill...definitely.
Any other suggestions? If this is the field for 08 we are definitely in trouble. I didn't bother listing any GOP candidates beyond McCain, cause if there is a god, they will all be in prison...with a Blackie McFatcock of their very own.
Ouch.
Goodnight and...

LIKE THAT GAME DOOM ONLY REAL

Well...here it is...



There's more, but w blogger is being a bitch...
I actually made my store runs without a problem tonight. Amazing.
I kept looking over my shoulder in this chase for a zombie to jump out and grab me.

PIMPS AND HO'S

Dukes storefront was lined with three of the nastiest looking whores I have ever seen in my life, with two more in the broken down whoremobile they were, um, broken down in. I got out of the truck with the usual command to Sully to kill everything and tried to get in the store without any interaction. No such luck. The skankiest looking one misread my shirt as she lumbered toward me saying "hey...what's your name? Rick?" I said "no" and headed into Dukes to her catcalls of "your name's No? blah blah blah", drowned out by Sully trying to kill everything. And then skankalicious turned her attention to another customer. The other widette skank with the lazy eye and the bad tattoos just leered at me as I passed by.
So i come out of Dukes with my smokes and tickets and lazy eye hits me up for a dollar, I turn and say I spent my money, waving my tickets and this multi colored hoopty piece of shit car pulls into the space next to my car and almost hits me and my car...it is a pimpmobile...driven by and occupied by uh...pimps. There are black men and then there are black men that take advantage of trashy crackheaded white girls and drive shitty cars...believe me, I know the difference. These brothers were all about the pimpin'...LOW rent pimpin' white crackhead bitches, in other words, they answered the page. I guess. One of the pimp homey-o's jumps out of the car and say's to me..."hold up a minute bro" just as I open the door. I say to him " I don't know you and if you don't fuck off I will let this dog out on your ass." Nigga walked around to the other side of the hoopty and gave me the hard look. I gave it back. It hasn't been the greatest 32 months and I am so sick of this shit...plus I had the 12 gauge in the truck, so I wasn't afraid. we looked at each other for a minute and then the bitch punk got in the back seat of his shitty car and they collected the cadre of white crackwhores and drove away.Fuck them.
I hate this fucking town sometimes.
Oh, yeah...PS: I forgot my camera this morning, but it's in my tool bag as we speak, so you'll see hell tomorrow, maybe. No...I will post them...really, I will.

THIS HEAVEN GIVES ME MIGRAINE

Pronounce that meegraine in this case. Of course, I'm quoting Gang of Four from their recent release "Return the Gift" . New recordings of songs originally recorded back in the late 70's early 80's. I loved it then, I fucking love it now. It's like the songs aged with me and have a nuance that was overwhelmed by the spirit back when I ( and the band ) were 20 somethings. The lyrics speak to the past and the present. Go buy it...seriously.
I've been working in a basement for the last week or so...a hot, clammy, multi-level affair riddled with conduit, ducts, water pipes, gas lines, and tons of wire. cable, telephone, computer...it's everywhere. Narrow chases are everywhere. Most of the work has been in these chases. So, the trick is, the conduit has to be run in the basement, but it's providing power and fire alarm and IT cable and wire to the first floor. We have to map the routes in the basement to match the floor plan of the first floor. This building has been renovated and remodled probably 20 times since it was first built in the 30's ( I'll get the exact date someday ). It's a mess. I changed the card in my camera tonight and will take and hopefully post pics of this nightmare tomorrow.
Short and sweet...but I'm wore out.